Denmark
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
[edit] History
At least 100 years ago the average Danish citizen was over 9000 feet tall, had a long beard, and liked to rape people. This is what we now know as Vikings. They made the first Mohamed cartoons, which later became a Danish tradition. They lived in small tents with their animals, whom they raped after they ate their kids, hence the expression "A Dane who isn't eating is fucking his cow."
Later danes decided to get rid of the evil rich people and have a land of equality for all. This worked for a long time until the amount of dark people in Denmark couldn't just be divided by 0!!! there is 2.2 "darkies"for every 10 doctors... Now if you DO THE FUCKING MATH!!!, you would find that there arez 1 doctor for every 100 people in Denmark, and there are 1000 people in Denmark. SO, That means there are 2.2 BLACKS! in denmarks... they arn't allowed to vote, or sing. Or do the ultimate Danish joy, PAY TAXES (commie bastards) >:(
[edit] Geography
Also called Legoland and "the 51st state of America", Denmark is a small communist country slightly north of Germany, south of Norway, and west of Sweden, and east of United Kingdom in Europe, and is the capital city of IKEA. It's a largely flat country with no hills and lots of windmills and wind turbine power plants. Denmark also controls Greenland - a land devoid of vegetation but possessing copious amounts of ice cream. Copa Cabana is the capital of Denmark.
The quintessential Danish locale is a little shit village named Høng. There is only one reason why some people know the village, and that is because a man created a cheese and named it after himself. We all know that cheese is the most valuable (and addictive) thing to Danish people, so the town was renamed after that cheese.
To make Høng more fun the mayor in 1994 got the two first stages in tour de France to Høng, but the population could not handle so much fun, and it ended in chaos as you might see in the video clips.
At new years eve it is a tradition for the queen to run around the streets of Copenhagen, buttnaked screaming "JEG ELSKER KORT-BARBEREDE TYSKERE! KYS MINE LANGE LØG!", meaning "I love short-shaved Germans! Kiss my long onions/balls." This is to scare of terrorists, niggers, McDonald's employees, jyllandsposten and trolls. (The first video is from Hungary, fucktard!)
[edit] Geometry
Denmark is flat. Really flat, almost like a huge mirror. In addition, an average Dane is quite slimy, so wind meets little obstacle when passing through Denmark. So somebody decided that a huge number of ugly windmills should be placed throughout Denmark to produce environmentally-friendly electricity. And, because Denmark is flat like a mirror, the windmills are difficult to hide too. You can see at least fifty windmills from any point in Denmark. If someone rubbed Denmark against a huge mirror, he'd crush all the fucking windmills, and become God to the thankful Danes.
[edit] Government
Denmark is officially currently ruled by a narcoleptic empress drama-Queen, known only as pot-smoking Margrete; though in reality, behind the facade of druks' and faggy princes getting speeding tickets, and Japanophile fag princes getting divorced with yellowskins, stalinistics Fogh'ers and Lomborg rule the land in a way that would make good old lord Saruman's nipples shit poo. Though far from a red communist enclave - more like, America constantly having buttseks with Denmark in the remains of Iraq, producing lots of Jews, amirite? - its social welfare programs make it fun to refer it it as a commie pinko hellhole.
There are large anti-European movements in Denmark, as well as anti-immigration movements, anti nigger movements, anti aircraft movements and anti-bowel movements that fuels the politicians with just enough shit to prevent vast outbreaks of Aids and sand niggers.
One of the most popular political groups is the [1] every body loves them. They want to destroy everything.
[edit] X Factor
X factor is a Danish Talent show which features famous danish Neo-Nazi Thomas Blachmann , half breed wannabe Nigger Remee and Known danish lesbian Lina Rafn as judges. Their job is to find a big talent but they are as all others talent show judges Epic fail. They Argue about who is the best singer though all of them are Furfags without talent. After the show they argue some more and then usually rape the contestants which they enjoy as they are all gay. The show is always watched by your mom and basement dwellers with no life. It should also be noted that Thomas Blachmann cant read and has to get help from his boyfriend when going to the bathroom. The show is watched by 2 million Danes and they will soon add the proud Gay Oliver Bjerrehus as a judge in season 2.
[edit] Why Denmark Kicks Ass Blows is WIN
Denmark selfishly hid 90% of their Jews from Hitler's humanitarian "Holocaust" population control program. This is why they have an island named "Jutland", as you might suspect, this is actually a cover up for the name "Jewland". Denmark also has a large population of Jews on Bornholm.
Denmark regularly trolls terrorists by having offensive cartoons of famous pedophile Muhammad planted in their newspapers by agents of Satan. Terrorists are not pleased.
[edit] Denmark Trolls the Muslims
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[edit] Economy
Denmark's main export is Legos; second to that is dairy products, followed closely by cartoons of Muhammad. The Danes were great looters back in the day, and there are a small remaining group of Vikings who have avoided contact with the modern world and has been known to raid merchant ships bound for Narvik, Norway.
The only things that Danes import are Swedes, who come and drink all the booze in the country and piss everywhere. This of course angers the used-to-be-vikings, but because they are now Socialist hippies, they don't do anything about it.
Basic education in Denmark is still looting school, a holdover from Viking times. To pass ninth grade, you must loot 3 things from your burning teacher, while raping his women and cursing his art. This makes Danish culture rather similar to that of the negro.
[edit] Inventions
Denmark's inventions are numerous and epic from Danish bacon and Danish pastry, to the pedo storyteller Hans Christian Anderson to Tycho Brahe's psychic midget Jebb and alcoholic pet moose, (who fell down the stairs whilst drunk and died), thus prophesying Fahrenheit 9/11.
But Denmark's most remarkable contribution to humanity (besides the good ol' A bomb) is the new best-selling game Danskar Danskar Revolution - which is falsely rumored to be communist propaganda - which is played by looking like a retard, dancing, yodeling, drinking vast quantities of beer (pronounced in Danish as OOOOOOLL), and raping pigs and/or praying preying Muslims. But even when not playing the game, Danes do all that shit anyway. The game runs on a slightly modified Popstarz and Idolz engine with terrorist sandniggers a the judge. Points are earned on how offended their prophets are. Upon completing the game, a cutscene showing Osama's -now batshit insane- faggot servants, flying straight into heaven through the golden gates of World Trade Center.
According to sauce, Danskar Danskar Revolution and DDR are pretty much the same with the basic objective of looking faggy and being a retard while dancing like a handicapped walrus. Some can't even tell the difference, since it's all gay and fail and avian flu mixed with AIDS and coke.
[edit] The Polish Dream
The Polish dream involves Denmark and stealing job from good Danish citizens. Denmark lets thousands of Polish workers in to the country every day. Recently, the Danish government has talked about importing Polish ppl to LOL-LAND.
[edit] The People
A top five list of the most good looking guys in Denmark
 1. Marianne Jelved - Politician, gigolo. Famous for both! We all love him. |
 2. Thomas Gravesen - One of the few guys to mistake football for full-contact combat sport. |
 3. Kofi Annan - Vagabond and Nazi sympathizer, he plays the piano! |
 4. Bjarne Riis - Like all cyclists, he became famous for his needle-fetish. |
 5. David Owe - Pig actor, martial arts expert, and dancing fairy. He sings like a saxophone! |
BREAKING NEWS!!
The five most delicious men in Denmark have now decided to make a new band, and in case you don’t know the guys are Marianne Jelved, Thomas Gravesen, Koffi Annan, Bjarne Riis, and Dawid Owe and they have big ambitions.
Jelved declares:
Kofi is cool when he is rocking out. Damn I say! He really turns me on with that finger play, and after he changed his skin color and hair cut he probably deserves the first place on the list.
But is it necessary to change the skin color of a black man?
To that Bjarne Riis answers
Kofi has in long time wished to be white and because we want to play Nazi-punk it would be stupid to have such a nigger in the band. It will just seem too sophisticated.
A new superstar band is born. Please enjoy their new music video called “Hvid Dansk Nationalsocialist” which is shot in Høng at the annual civic festival.
[edit] Language
Every girl in Denmark likes charming dirty sentences, and here are one of the best.
Your beautiful eyes make me think about my hairy balls - Dine smukke øjne får mig til at tænke på mine behårede boller.
The danish are also said to have uncanny skills in the language of ænglisj:
FACT:The Danish language is so full of fail not even Danes can speak Danish.
[edit] Music
If you open a synonym book and read what there stands under musician you will see Dane. Danes are great to play music and one of the most famed songs is their national anthem, which is written by the lovely composer and footballer Preben Elkjær.
Denmark's national anthem: National Anthem
[edit] Sports
It turns out Danish people are good at Football, Handball, and Badminton. But their favorite sporting event is dwarf throwing, where strapping young mostly-bearded gay women throw tiny homosexual midgets on crack.
[edit] Equal Opportunity
Denmark is world famous for their woman friendly labour market. If a woman wants a job in Denmark she just should have an education from the porno industry and blonde hair. Actually only 56% of the women in Denmark are employed in the porno industry. The rest are in jail...
[edit] Food Culture in Denmark
The average Dane eats whatever he/she can get with alcohol in it. This means, for example, that no normal Dane would have any problems drinking only beer for breakfast. And then just keep drinking beer the rest of the day until he/she passes out. The rich Danes, however, may exchange the alcohol with actual food. And then down some bottles o' wine for dessert.
[edit] Health
Since the average Dane starts to drink at the age of 12-13, Danes do not live very long. Just like their ancestors, the vikings. In fact, some Danes die at the age of 30 - but only a few become so old.
[edit] Emo Culture in Denmark
All emos are clones of very big metrosexual mosquitoes and drunk swedes roaming around in Copenhagen. Just like mosquitoes, they are highly intolerable and constantly suck.. ass.. which spreads the super flu aids. And because emos are clones, the EMO-culture in Denmark is the same as it is in other parts of the world, except for their copious use of red and white make-up. Everyone who is sane should thus avoid the danish version of MySpace; Arto.
Emo discrimination in Danish
My Chemical Romance Suxxx ass - Min kemikalie romance sutter røv
Hey My Chemical ROmancre are on MTV!! - My Chemical Romance er på MTV
kiss me emo boy, like you never kissed me before - Sur tunge
[edit] Gay Culture in Denmark
The gay culture in Denmark has expanded to a degree for which there are no words or sentences to describe the horror. Too many young danish boys seek to become gayer than the rest, resulting in gay bars having to invent membership systems to prevent their bars being overrun by what seem like homosexuals, but what are in fact very, very confused heterosexuals (or just in-the-closet fags). Srsly.
Do not visit Denmark. It's too embarrassing ATM.
[edit] Danish Youth Problems
There are a lot of taboos in Danish Youth Culture. That's why a Danish Christian Church has made a site, which want to break the taboos about sexual problems, creepy stuff etc..
Please visit the site if you are young and from Denmark. Very Important!
http://ungdomsproblemer.blogspot.com
[edit] Racist culture in Denmark
Sensitive and insightful Danish commentary on our colored cousins:
[00:19] ShadowCrush: srs DK is full of them [00:20] ShadowCrush: they're "fleein'" from they battle they say [00:20] ShadowCrush: thourgh, I know it's a tactic [00:20] eins: ic [00:20] eins: lol [00:20] ShadowCrush: to DESTROY THE HUMANKIND!!! [00:20] eins: OMFG [00:20] ShadowCrush: they arn't humans [00:20] eins: they are sand monkeys [00:20] ShadowCrush: they're more like... monkeys [00:20] ShadowCrush: yeah [00:20] ShadowCrush: sand monkeys [00:21] eins: lol [00:21] eins: towel heads [00:21] ShadowCrush: wam. sand monkeys? [00:21] eins: lol [00:21] ShadowCrush: nm [00:21] ShadowCrush: they gotta be stopped [00:21] ShadowCrush: send in China [00:22] ShadowCrush: they gotta have the biggest army in world [00:22] ShadowCrush: just why don't those sand monkeys have a brain? [00:22] eins: i think they do [00:22] eins: but its smaller [00:23] ShadowCrush: what? they have a brain? [00:23] ShadowCrush: where? [00:23] ShadowCrush: since when? [00:23] ShadowCrush: how? [00:23] eins: its just small [00:23] eins: liek an ant's [00:23] ShadowCrush: probably smaller [00:24] ShadowCrush: black shit of the south. well, here they are, no offence
[edit] See Also
- Danish, their
gaylanguage. - Europe
- Iceland
- Norway
- Rita - A force meme on 4chan that supposedly came from some Danish cartoon.
- Sweden
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