Meow Wars

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

The Meow Wars. Everything that ever mattered on Usenet occurred here

The Meow Wars were epic Usenet battles where everything, every single newsgroup, was at stake. Its tendrils probed even the darkest, most obscure fucked up corners of Usenet, affecting everyone drawn to it by its magnitude, its enigmatic nature, and its sheer pointless stupidity.

[edit] The beginning

It started as a crosspost-provoked bitchfest between alt.fan.karl-malden.nose and alt.tv.beavis-n-butthead, when a.f.k-m.n were planning a small scale invasion of alt.tv.beavis-n-butthead and some utter fuckwit, for some reason, posted details TO THE NEWSGROUP THEY WERE GOING TO INVADE. What in the fucking blue hell is that? Anyway, as it turned out, the a.f.k-m.n Harvard snobs got fucked in the ass many times over by the alt.tv.beavis-n-butthead thugs, and were left to die in the internets' wasteland.

[edit] Meowers are conceived

As the Harvard fucks left the newsgroups, the Beavis and Butthead fans trickled in. They became known as the Meowers, a rather poorly organised group of trolls that had little contact with eachother, let alone other human beings. It is not exactly known why they are known as Meowers. A common theory is their fascination with sticking their pecker in a cat's ass as a substitute for pu55y they'll never get.

[edit] The escalation of their influence

The Meowers, though not being well organised, managed to methodically pour into many newsgroups without any real rhyme or reason, spamming groups with ASCII cats and "MEOW". Newsgroup readers would place "Meow" in their killfile, but to no avail. The sly catfuckers subtly changed subject headings from "Meow" to "Mew", and other similar words and phrases. Fucking GENIUS. These ingenious tactics thwarted the attempts to shut the Meowers out of their lives, and destroyed groups by the dozens. People tried to UDP the Meowers, but it was deemed to be a violation of free speech.

The Meowers did not restrict their activities to Usenet. Oh no. They also spammed the shit out of email accounts, rendered servers useless, and just all around fucked the internets.

[edit] The Aftermath

Newsgroups fucked. People burnt at the stake. Lulz. What else can you ask for?

[edit] External Links

• The One True History of Meow... apparently

Meow Wars is part of a series on Web 1.0

BACK, TO THE FUTURE ANCIENT HISTORY 0  Old Memes  •   Celebs, h4x0rz, and Phreaks  •   Communications and Technologies  •   Events  •   Death of Web1.0 All Your Base Are Belong To Us • The Anarchist Cookbook • Artycat • Ate my balls • Bonsai Kitten • Church of the SubGenius • Dancing Baby • The Gibson • Goatse • Goddess Bunny • Fat Chicks in Party Hats • Guy Macon's original post • HA! HA! Guy • Hai2u • Hamster Dance • Homestar Runner • Lemon Party • Maddox • I kiss you! • Meatspin • Mullet • Ninja • NO U • Old Meme • Raping Little Suzy • STFU • Tubgirl B1FF • Bill Gates • Captain Crunch • Church of the SubGenius • Cult of the Dead Cow • David L. Smith • Fry Guy • Goddess Bunny • Guy Macon • Jai Maharaj • Jeff Moss • Kelly Martin • Kevin Mitnick • Maddox • Mahir Çağrı • Masters of Deception • Nicholas Morency • Phreak • Robert Morris • Schattie • Starcade • Steve Jobs • Tom Galloway • Woz ALL CAPS • Alt.tasteless • Alt.syntax.tactical • Alt.fan.karl-malden.nose • The Anarchist Cookbook • AOL • AOL Instant Messenger • ARS • ASCII • Ascii art • Back Orifice • Bell • Blue box • Citadel • DAoC • Diablo 2 • Dialup • EverQuest • Followup • Geoshities • The Gibson • Homestar Runner • Hotornot • ICQ • IRC • ISCABBS • Joe cartoon • Leet • Rotten.com • Spam • Sock puppet • Starcraft • Stile Project • Totse • Telnet • Ultima Online • Usenet • Yahoo! Eternal September • Flame Wars • Meow Wars • Operation Sundevil Ebaumsworld • Futaba Channel • MySpace • Newgrounds • Something Awful • Text Files • TOW • YouTube Click topics to expand