Lustifera
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Lustifera (aka Lustinina aka Lustina aka Val aka Valeri aka Valeria aka Shit) is an alcoholic Italian goth groupie and clubwhore with a severe case of Internet Disease who looks like she fell out of a Hot Topic bargain bin. She also claims to be an Internets model and dancer. Her Photoshop photo-editing skills are of legendary fail; see below for an example. Her family name (Valeria Parsi) suggests she may have some kind of sand nigger ancestry, but the truth may never be known.
Recent rumors suggest that Val may be planning her final sex-reassignment surgery to become the woman that she has always felt she is on the inside. Val's father is said to be fronting the cash for her penis removal, probably because he's always wanted a daughter to touch inappropriately and her testicles turned him off. Hormone therapy and breast implants soon!
Contents |
[edit] EMERGING LULZ
Recently, she has had to resort to advertising in order to find new sex partners, which is of course lol.
Upon learning of this page, she freaked the fuck out. She went out of her way to claim that she was not bothered by it, yet keeps having her friends deface this page by deleting her images and babbling in half-understandable Italian(?) (see history) over and over because the truth hurts. The fact is that she is slowly becoming aware that she is a public laughingstock and is using the tried-and-FAIL "words can never hurt me" defense.
On May 27th, her MySpace got BALEETED by MySpace admins because she started raving about having oral sex with dogs in response to her ED article:
 "I am ugly and have sex with dogs." At least she's honest. |
 She so totally does not care about this article. Which is why she keeps defacing it (see history). |
Her accounts (5 or 6 so far) keep being deleted within days of signing backup, and according to knowledgeable sources who share their lulz with others, this is because someone at MySpace Italy thinks she is a retard. She keeps blaming this on random enemies of hers, thinking that anyone cares enough to hack her accounts, which is certainly not a ridiculous idea. In the meantime, she has declared war and asked all her wop friends to deface this page, thinking that ED will cave in and delete her article when put under the pressure of so much Faggotry.
The highlight of her life currently is bragging about being on posters all over her city because her loser club friends spammed every street with a flyer with a 4 year old highly photoshopped photo of her on it, trying to get people to go to their crappy goth club. Apparently, having 45 year old goths print out some flyers and post them all over the place is her big break into modeling. As a side note, they were spamming MySpace saying that "if at least 500 people showed up, there would be a striptease". We can only assume that this meant another show with Val getting buttsecksed on stage by some transsexual goth loser, but apparently this didn't happen, so I guess nobody showed up. LOLFAIL!
[edit] History
Like most Italians, Val lives at home with her parents and relies on them for all her money. She claims to be twenty six; estimates from sources close to her place her IRL age as being anywhere from thirty two to a little over 9000 trillion years old. This accounts for her funky ass pot belly, and washed out appearance. Some claims suggest she is a MTF (an assertion given credence by the presence of enormous false eyelashes, glitter and generally garish clothing), while others claim that she is merely an unskilled tranny. Her personal style generally consists of a mishmash of padded bras, corsets to hide her permanent 5-month pregnancy, fake horsehair weaves sewn onto her balding head and neon-colored Italian haute couture. It is a known fact that she has had at least one cosmetic surgery to correct her god-given dumbo ears, and she is also guilty of overbleaching her rabbit teeth (to compensate for her chain smoking, which had rendered them looking like squares of old cheese) to the point that they appear gray. She has a history of dental problems, including a severe underbite which will require surgery and wiring her jaw shut; She refuses to do this because it'll mean she has to stop feasting on cocks for a few weeks.
[edit] Psychiatric History
A long paper trail leads through the depths of Val's mental illness. Plagued by recurring <a href="/Genital_Herpes" title="Gen