From Encyclopedia Dramatica

YouTube is a place where every illiterate fucktard on the internet converges on one website. It is also a crappy video site, which was preceded by Break.com in all manners of fugly girls posing, noobs, drag queens posing, fantards, clips from gay animes, old memes, and goth/emo videos. Practically everything in the "most viewed" and "top rated" categories are either softcore porn, clips from shit tv shows or sporting events, YouTube Poop, weeaboo faggotry, politically incendiary crap, stupid pet tricks, men measuring their manboobs (HOT!), and let us not forget underage girls shaking their asses on camera. YouTube is pure drama, the entire user base being full of emotional morons who will whine and bitch at the slightest provocation. So much as a drawn picture of another user with the words poopy head on it will instantly cause a shit storm.

It is important to note that YouTube was named by Time Magazine to be the best invention of 2006. Coming in second was a formula to prevent cervical cancer (No, srsly).

Last Thursday, Google bought out YouTube and renamed it GooTube beta, shortly thereafter the era of The Promised Land began.

Unless you're hurting their e-feelings, YouTube users adore absolutely any wretched shit uploaded to their site at all. Many people like to upload hilarious videos of themselves and their friends doing something absolutely crazy like a silly dance, putting on a stupid hat, performing some asinine stunt or prank, or making a movie made of sheer faggotry for the internet to enjoy. YouTube is a website which enables every lonely and desperate low life to spend endless amounts of time pursuing some shred of E-fame whilst providing a home for all others to troll them. It allows us all to grasp The power of online video communication. But we all know internets were made for the lulz.

Contents 1 Typical Uses 2 Things First Time YouTube Browsers Should Know 3 Copyright Bullshit 4 The Banhammer 5 Users 5.1 YOUTUBERS 5.2 Militant Fundamentalist Christians 5.3 Militant Fundamentalist Atheists 6 YouTube as explained by Sen. Ted Stevens 7 YouTube as a Corporation 8 Every Comment Evar Made 8.1 Comment Audio Preview 9 Every Video Ever Made 10 Cloning 11 How to score some cheap lulz 12 Handy Troll Tools 13 The Subscriber Security Hole 14 Memes born from YouTube 15 YouTube Impersonators 15.1 Beast Tube 15.2 kissyoutube 15.3 Dailymotion 15.4 JewTube 15.5 Podblanc 15.6 Pornotube 15.7 Trampletube 15.8 Vloggerheads 15.9 Xtube 15.10 YouJizz 15.11 Youporn 15.12 Yuvutu 15.13 88tube 15.14 Godtube 15.15 Typical YouTube Clips 16 Proof That YouTube/rs Suck @ Satire 16.1 FAIL!!1! 16.2 Quotes 16.3 Further Drama 16.4 YouTube's "Community Council" 16.5 It's Still Serious Business on Les Tubes 16.6 YoutTube RickRolls You 16.7 Related Articles 16.8 External Links

[edit] Typical Uses

Beyond finding unfunny crap to watch and interesting news clips of internet dramaz, YouTube (more like JewTube, amirite?) can also be used as a tool for queers to shove their faggotry down the throats of our great nation. Searching for "gay kiss" turns up more videos than you can shake a cock at. The ultimate pwnage for gheys is when a gay kiss video is taken down, since it gives them the opportunity to flare up and bitch about homophobia on the internets (see also YT Super Fags. If you find yourself on a gay blog or MySpace and don't see any embedded gay kiss videos, you may rightfully claim 2 free internets from the site's owner. Don't hold out though, you're much more likely to find a straight furry or a diabetic who doesn't remind you of a rhinoceros.

[edit] Things First Time YouTube Browsers Should Know

• Within ten minutes of first clicking that link that brings you to YouTube you will inevitably find someone whom you instantly hate with a burning passion. There are no exceptions.
• If the above rule takes effect and the object of loathing is not a 9/11 conspiracy theorist, you are probably not on YouTube. Tell them it was done by pissed off Muslims no matter what you think for lulz.
• Yes, they have MST3K clips. Lots of them. F-YEAH.

[edit] Copyright Bullshit

100 years ago, YouTube was a haven for pirates, who made it totally awesome for us by outweighing the camwhore shit with almost every anime, TV show and porno movie you could think of. But then, one day, some faggot from NBC whined about everyone spreading a clip of The Daily Show all over the internets thereby forcing YouTube to take them off.

As a result, YouTube became Nazis and decided to wipe off every piece of copyrighted material they could find, including those taken with a shitty webcam. Although few of these remain, millions of AMVs remain untouched. YouTube also loves to pwn any account that has hosted these video clips, just for the lulz, but the so-called offenders will come back anyway and post their shit again.

Update: YouTube has now implemented an automatic pwning device to take out copyright material. The system functions by identifying code in your uploads. For example if you were to download some other useless video off of YouTube then upload it directly YouTube would reject it automatically. It can also detect other profanities such as severe violence, gore, nudity, and Trevor Rieger.

[edit] The Banhammer

YouTube punishment is usually a form of ban from the service by deleting the guilty party's account. However, it remains unclear how long the suspension lasts since YouTube doesn't know how to use email unless it deals with an idle DMCA threat. Some suggest a YouTuber's IP address may be blocked from the server to prevent them from creating another account, sometimes indefinitely. These actions are thought to be invoked for such offenses as violating YouTube's Terms of Service, trolling JackDanyells, jerking off on cam while smoking a Cuban cigar, disrespect of Mia, or promoting illegal acts. This is purely for the creation of the account, after you've registered YT does not track IP's and will not ban you if you go back to the old one. The truth is that unless you do anything that would attract the attention of law enforcement, most trolls can return immediately after they've been suspended. That is, of course, unless you were stupid enough to put your face on cam.

Thus far, YouTube has demonstrated that their policy on banning users has, and continues to be, arbitrary at best. This is because certain users are given the dreaded perma-ban by YouTube and are never allowed to return, whilst others are banned yet they are allowed to return without hindrance (i.e. Theboringdispatcher, Warren25smash, etc.) Thus there is an arbitrary discrepancy between a perma-ban and a regular ban and you'll never know which the mongoloids on the YouTube staff have arbitrarily decided to give you.

Update: YouTube has made policy changes regarding bannings. They have somewhat relaxed their policy for breaches of "Community Guidelines" but not for DMCA violations - you're shit out of luck if you were banned for those.

• Read more on the YT Blog

[edit] Users

[edit] YOUTUBERS Dramatic YouTubers YouTube Egomaniacs Psychopathic YouTubers YouTube Bimbos YouTube Lolcows YouTube Panhandlers Now Irrelevant YouTubers Militant Fundamentalist YouTubers YouTube An heroes Gallery [collapse] [expand] 0 [collapse] [expand] 0 [collapse] [expand] 0 [collapse] [expand] 0 [collapse] [expand] 0 [collapse] [expand] 0 [collapse] [expand] 0 [collapse] [expand] 0 [collapse] [expand] 0 [collapse] [expand] 0

[edit] YouTube as explained by Sen. Ted Stevens

YouTube is a very great tube, on it you can see people who have made moving pictures, and put their moving picture through a bunch of gigawatts, and gilgabites, until it is on YouTube's tubes. These tubes can be viewed by other chaps and can be put on other tubes, so whether you're watching a moving picture about flying machines or the new telegraph, you can always receive jollys at YouTube, and have a gay ol' time.

[edit] YouTube as a Corporation

If you've ever wondered why YouTube doesn't seem to respond to your queries (once you've jumped through enough hoops just to contact them) or why they do not seem care about the average user - your videos being removed or flagged, an unjust banning, someone harassing you, technical glitches, suggestions for improving the site, etc. - well...here's your answer:

[edit] Every Comment Evar Made

• "FUCK, I know. but hey, do you want to watch FREE tv on ur PC? Just g0 2 (insert website name here)"
• "I want the last 5 minutes of my life back"
• "SUB 4 SUB"
• "FIND HAWT GIRLS AT CAMAZON DOT COM!"
• "SEXY GIRLS AT CAMZHOME DOT COM!"
• "9/11 TRUTH OMGZ BUSH DID IT!"
• FIRST POST AND VIEW

WHO CARES FAGGOT

No1 cares!!111!

• "SEE PROFILE"
• "LAWL PAUSE AT 00:26"
• "RON PAUL REVOLUTION"
• "AMERICANS SUCK!"
• "AMERICANS RULE!"
• "OMG SO HILARIOUS! LOL!"
• "FAKE!!!!!!!!!"
• "PLZ DONT READ One day a young girl was killed in a car crash. If you do not post this comment 20 times in the next 10 seconds she will kill you when you go to sleep"
• "WHAT SONG IS THIS?"
• <transcribe the punchline of the joke in the video here>
• YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS
• GET A LIFE AND A GIRLFRIEND A HUR HUR HURRR
• NIGGER (Automatic if the video has a black person)
• The middle finger copy/paste that people do just because the autistic kids want to fit in with everyone else who dislikes the movie.
• If your family is craving something delicious tonight, cum in a frying pan, put on low until the cum caramelizes and add a delicious layer of chilled diarrhea over top. Let the diarrhea cook until the consistency of scrambled eggs and than fill your rectum with sulfur and kerosene and spray it all over the pan. You may want to stand on a stool above the stove while adding the mix. Garnish with grade A long-cut foreskins and voila!!! A great tasty meal the entire family can enjoy!
• "IF U DON'T LIKE THE SONG THEN DON'T LISTEN TO IT LIKE HOLY FUCKK!!!!!!!!"
• "You can't play the song right. You're one 36th of a beat off which is very obvious to musical gods like me. LEARN SOME TEMPO N0OB!!!!"
• "COME TO <INSERT COUNTRY NAME> AND I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"
• "OMG RICK ROLL'D XD"
• "yer a nerd"
• "Come and say that shyt to mah each Byotch!"
• "This video makes my balls soft and my anus sting."
• "Go fuck ur brother u dum motherfucker and eat ur muther's yogurt with turkay meat u dirty white nygga wit no like that livs

in tha basement wit a mouse stuck up that ass and burger grease leakin from your cunt you fukin transexual."

• "Please, learn to fucking spell. Thank You."
• "STFU Family Guy is the best show ever and way better than South Park. If you don't like Family Guy why bother commenting?" -Typical defensive Family Guy fan
• (Topic) sux lololol (Other Topic) iz wayyyy better!!1!!!1

[edit] Comment Audio Preview

Sometime in November 2008, the YT staff decided to try to do something about the rampant collection of idiocy that are YouTube comments. Since a site-wide ban seemed to be a bit extreme, they did the next best thing and ripped off an issue of xkcd by installing an "Audio Feedback" system that allows you to hear your comments read back to you before you post them.

Naturally, this idea should have stayed in the realm of "Haha, what if?" because it's completely fucking useless in practice. Since you can simply choose to NOT USE the tool, people sure as shit aren't going to bother - especially if they're stupid enough to make a comment worthy of using the audio preview in the first place. And even if you do want feedback on your devastatingly insightful, witty retort, it's not going to matter since the robotic preview voice could make even Shakespeare sound like a retard.

The only real use for the device is to amuse one's self by typing ridiculous bullshit into the comment field to hear it read back to you by a robot with a speech impediment.

The webcomic in question, which first aired in October '08

Clearly, this is going to solve all the problems.

Wonder if the commenter will get the hint...

[edit] Every Video Ever Made

Need hits for your YouTube account? Now you have the power!

1. Grab a video of dogs looking sad
2. ???? = Set it to "Had a Bad Day" by Daniel Powter
3. PROFIT!! [1]

Good alternatives to sad dogs are:

• Cats falling over (steal from America's Funniest Home Videos)
• Mudkipz or other anime
• Totally random clip art
• AMVs
• Linkin Park AMVs
• Linkin Park period.
• Halo games you lost
• People getting hit by trains
• Club Penguin for 3.3 million hits [2]
• Disco songs that no one has heard before and/or gives a flying fuck about.
• Be like FRED and make a video of yourself being as irritating as fuck and/or make it high-pitched
• Five year old kid playing (song) on (instrument)
• Naruto AMV
• ANYTHING having to do with babies (which is an obvious hint)
• X SPED UP (also known as X SUNG BY CHIPMUNKS)
• X SLOWED DOWN

[edit] Cloning

A person who makes a Youtube account exactly the same but they replace the l with I or replace the I with l. If the Youtube account doesn't contain those letters than the person cannot be cloned. Clones also must clone the listed friends and make a copy of the person's Youtube videos. Clones work when the person closes the account as well because then if you close the clone account and spam someone they will think it's the person you're cloning that did the spamming. You can also use clone to disguise as someone to become an admin of a stream. Then you can ban every moderator in the stream when nobody is in there. As you can tell this can cause mass confusion.

[edit] How to score some cheap lulz

If you're in for some lulz, you've come to the right site. Usually go to any video which has a lot of views (suggestions would be a religious JewTubeer or some shit band videos) and just say something completely against the tide. Then a bunch of 13 year old boys will type furiously about how the internets is serious business. They'll probably send you a PM with some long bullshit about how you are wrong. Here is a generic statement for you to use:

"This is a total rip-off of ______________ (insert old band or movie name)"

Better yet, if the original poster of the video is the type to actually respond to each and every comment he gets with a long argument which fills the text limit, well you can say the most racist, sexist, bigoted comments imaginable and they will respond with accusations of trolling while also flaming you back as if they think you typed those comments in the height of serious-ity. Find a user like this and you will find yourself uttering the phrase "He's responding, he's responding, I cant believe he's responding."

The first step in getting any lulz in the above fashion first centers upon finding a tuber you don't like.
But don't worry...you will.

[edit] Handy Troll Tools

• The Dynacat is a handy tool to back up your subscriptions. Just cuntpaste them from your one account in the dynacat, log in with your other sock account, hit subscribe and it will subscribe the whole list automatically, so you will never lose your trolling friends.

[edit] The Subscriber Security Hole

Some time ago Anonymous discovered whomever coded YouTube sucks and left a security hole on their website for people to exploit. It involves a YouTube user's subscribers count on their profile page and how it can be exploited.

Here's how it works:

• 1) Subscribe to target user
• 2) Unsubscribe
• 3) Repeat
• 4) ????
• 5) PROFIT

The first time a user subscribes, the subscribers count increments by 1, but does NOT increment any time you do it again. However, unsubscribing will decrement their count by 1. Ebaumsworld eventually found note of this and decided to attack Lonelygirl15's page and bring the count from tens of thousands of subscribers down to 0. It has also been done to her longface, jew-nosed widow Danielbeast and other various YouTubers like Daxflame and VenomFangX. A script has also been developed to exploit this hole with about as much manpower as an Indian call center...but nobody can seem to locate it. The glitch was short lived before YouTube employees got off their asses and did something about it, but the whining from vloggers across the site was incessant and pointed for this short period as many users were upset about losing their honorz.

Update: The YouTube staff finally got this shit fixed. Hallefuckingjulah, it only took them a year and a half.

[edit] Memes born from YouTube

• Bus Uncle
• Chocolate Rain
• Dear Sister
• Diabeetus - somewhat(well, not really)
• Garbage Day
• Grape Lady
• GreenTeaGirlie
• I Like Turtles
• IM PRESSIN CHARGES
• Intellectual Checkmate
• Interior Crocodile Alligator
• Old Gregg
• Tinaecmusic
• Tunak
• Yahweh
• 300 - The series of billions of "LOL SPARTA REMIX GIF IMAGEZ" videos.

[edit] YouTube Impersonators

[edit] Beast Tube

Do you even need to fucking ask?

[edit] kissyoutube

Type in 'kiss' before a YouTube video, and you can download it. Ex: www.youtube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching becomes www.kissyoutube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching.

[edit] Dailymotion

Dailymotion will one day replace YouTube for all your internets blogging needs. God Bless those Gay Frenchfags!

[edit] JewTube

All the jews come JewTube to talk about their bible and shit.

[edit] Podblanc

http://podblanc.com/ Racial or "racist" stuff that YouTube bans is allowed here...

[edit] Pornotube

If you don't like jacking off to emo videos and camwhores then Pornotube is for you! Just make sure to click on Straight Content before browsing, else you come upon an absolutely gay video of three guys jacking off on each other. Due to Pornotube's sorting algorithm you will probably be overwhelmed with cocks in the "straight" section as well. This is not a bug, you are a closet homosexual and they know.

[edit] Trampletube

For sick fucks

[edit] Vloggerheads

Renetto's answer to YouTube. Predicted to die before next Thursday. See the article for moar details.

[edit] Xtube

Xtube is a copycat of YouTube, but instead of regular shitty webcam videos, this has regular shitty webcam porno videos. The only thing that would make this less shitty is if it had less than 9000 videos of your mom being blasted by some fag. http://www.xtube.com/play_re.php?v=7viFI-S122- the lollercaust will be televised

[edit] YouJizz

This site has porn (duh) but it mostly contains guys blowing their loads on some random whores face.

[edit] Youporn

This site is for horny 13 year old boys with no life and an obvious addiction to cumming on their computer screens.

[edit] Yuvutu

Yet another 3rd rate porno knockoff.

[edit] 88tube

88=HeilHitler+Tube=... take a guess! Has racial music on the front page currently. http://www.88tube.net/

[edit] Godtube

Well it's not for atheists so just take a guess. http://godtube.com/

[edit] Typical YouTube Clips

PeopleSomething breaking rules 1 & 2

Furries

AZNS thinking they're king of cool

Retarded 9 year old boys

Typical way to get views and annoy people

Fuglies singing along to Taylor Swift.

[edit] Proof That YouTube/rs Suck @ Satire

YOU ARE NOT FUNNY YOUTUBE.

[edit] FAIL!!1!

Even at flash YouTube fails...

.

[edit] Quotes

Encyclopediadramatica, Renetto, Smosh & More!

“	All I have got to say is, EncyclopediaDramatica.com is the best fucking website on the internet, hands down	„
— RoccosHouse

A Message to ED

“	Write in more MGM is gay references	„
— MysteryGuitarMan

Google Search an stuff

“	I actually went and did a Google search on myself. The first place I came to was Encyclopedia Dramatica	„
— DiGiTiLsOuL

[edit] Further Drama

The frequent battlecry YouTube posties fret over is its growing ties to the corporate media.

• Paul Robinett told the New York Post "It is starting to appear as though the regular guy doesn't have a chance on YouTube anymore. The majority of the content on YouTube belongs to people like me, yet they seem to be cutting deals with everyone that owns content but us."
  
• "I'm starting to feel some twinges of betrayal," said Ben Going (aka Boh3M3). They seem to be more money-oriented than I imagined."

[edit] YouTube's "Community Council"

Since Damien Estreich failed so epically his job as an advocate for the community, YouTube, in an act of pure laziness, decided to create a "Community Council" to direct any complaints (because they are too busy making money) from the "community" to 5 users: Bravesgirl5, bradofarrell, sarrycrey, tlg847, Visblemode.

Of course, by now they know by now that YouTube is just using them.

[edit] It's Still Serious Business on Les Tubes

Many YouTubers continue to take the internets quite seriously and feel staunch in their position that "it's not just the internet." tlg847 (Community Council member) weighs in:

The "Community Council" is, for all intents and purposes, completely dead.

[edit] YoutTube RickRolls You

On April fools day, 2008, the fags at JewTube redirected all featured video links to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up, hoping users would applaud JewTube for its originality and suck its Jew e-cock. This pathetic attempt at an April Fools joke "fooled" nearly one hundred thousand people, attempting to milk an already dead meme for everything it's worth. Not since Carson Daily Rickrolled his own audience on national television has there been such blatant faggotry, Only the Jews at Jewtube could have turned potential win into such epic fail.

[edit] Related Articles

• YouTube Staff
• YourTubeNews
• YouTube View Fraud
• The Kewl Kids - The chosen ones.
• YouTube Civil War
• YouTube Furry War
• Young Tubers United
• YouTube Street Team - See also YouTube Vigilantes.
• YouTube View Fraud
• Vloggerheads
• Deleting your YouTube Videos
• Let's Play with YouTube
• Haters
• Shockingtube
• Censorship
• Unrealistic expectations on YouTube
• Unwarranted self-importance

Templates for EDiots:

• {{ytseries}}
• {{youtube2}}
• {{youtube}}

[edit] External Links

• The YouTube Blog
• YouTube on Stickam ENTER WITH CAUTION
• YourTubeNews on Myspace

Other links:

• YouTube being blocked in "Free Countries"
• TedCrusty YouTube Phenomenon

Some fine examples of Les Tubes:

• The first YouTube video evar
• There's about 90 copies of this.
• An old meme reading old memes
• this sums up YouTubeStickamChat
• Fucktard makes an idiot of himself on teh internets (see Numa numa)
• How to use YouTube as explained one serious douchebag (Jackdanyells)
• YouTube is fascist?

	YouTube is part of a series on YouTube
	Visit the YouTube Portal for complete coverage.

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