Silent Hill
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
About 100 years ago, PlayStation fanbois rejoiced at the "newest" survival-horror game, Silent Hill. Featuring shitty graphics (using the lame excuse that it made the game creepier), terrible control and lack of coherent plot line, it naturally became a best seller in America (and was well received in Britain for reasons unknown to even the most clever of people), spawning five sequels, one prequel, a movie, toys, an arcade game...wow, Konami really had some free time.
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[edit] The Town
It's full of fog and shit, and it's all but deserted, barring the monsters that spend their days spitting AIDS infected blood or standing around. It also includes famous landmarks that you have to go through, including Cabrini Green. Silent Hill is also the current World Record holder in the "most locks broken" category.
[edit] Pyramid Head
Holy fuck!! The embodiment of pent up internets angst. He carries around a big fucking knife, and has been known to rape anything he sees, alive or dead. The Pyramid Head rape catchphrase that appeared during the lead up to the film fast became another played out meme.
It has been speculated that Pyramid Head is James' Drop Dead Fred. This theory is further evidenced in the Silent Hill movie, where Pyramid Head is portrayed by Rik Mayall in a fat suit.
UPDATE: Alex Shepherd has his own version of Pyramid Head, except this one carries around a giant combat knife, to symbolize that...Alex uses a fucking combat knife, or some shit. Anyway, it seems Pyramid Head is a drop-dead for anyone that has selective amnesia about killing someone close to them. W is going to have about 5k of these motherfuckers.
[edit] Notable Characters
Harry Mason: A 30-something widower, his car gets pwned by Alessa on the highway outside Silent Hill and he is forced to run around for at least 100 hours looking for his lost daughter. He has an extremely short attention span and a one-track mind, often unable to carry on conversations for more than 10 seconds without changing the subject to his daughter, who has short, black hair and just turned seven last month.
James Sunderland: A murderous, bipolar psycho who spends most of his time in Silent Hill dealing with serial rapists, asshole little girls, suicidal teenagers, fat guys, and strippers who look like his dead wife. He gets pwned by a puppy. He also wears really shitty boots, and has a 9 year old girl stomp.
Heather Mason: By far the most intelligent character in the entire series, she knows that mixing Acid and Base cleaning products is a recipe for success. She spends most of her game being knocked up by the Silent Hill Death Cult's demon god, but she takes the red pill at the end and pukes it out. As she is a hawt chick who turns into Sailor Moon and gets a lightsaber, she is the best character by default.
Henry Townshend: A one-dimensional monobrow who spends most of his time spying on his hot next door neighbor through a hole in the wall and bearing witness to lulzy murders. Is the biggest pussy of all 4 100+ protagonists, since he never actually has the balls to go to Silent Hill. Walks and runs like a lobotomized polio victim.
Travis Grady: Growing up as basically an orphan was lulzy compared to how he became an orphan. His mom got locked up in an asylum in Silent Hill when she tried to kill him, claiming he was going to be a demon that kills everyone around him for shits and giggles, rapes their corpses, and wears their skin Bundy-style. Then his dad, being a Childfree parent, hangs himself in their hotel room while his kid is playing vidja gaems and pinball a few doors away. Ironically has a Pyramid Head 2.0 called "The Butcher" following him around. Ironic because it's basically him, but because they have a "mirror world" in the short, short, shoooort game he's in, it's actually him from the mirror, but it's his serial killer persona.
Alex Shepherd: An Americunt soldier coming back from a war to see his seriously fucked-up family in a town named after his great-great-great-great-Grand Dragon. Eventually turns into shota-chaser, looking for his younger brother in a movie-to-game-fan-fiction that rings something like Children of the Corn. Oh, and it turns out he was actually imagining everything, because he killed his fucking brother over a ring, and he's only picturing this whole story to not realize he's getting the ever-loving shit shocked out of him in a psych-ward.
[edit] The Movie
Some bitch has a whiny, 10 year old girl for a daughter, and the father, being the childfree parent he is, wants her shipped off to Shangri La. Of course, the cunt takes her to Silent Hill, where teh drama ensues. Accompanied by a bulldyke cop, they find the church of Fred Phelps, among other things. Even crappier than the game, it had the most famous scene of tentacle rape ever seen outside of Legend of the Overfiend, featuring barb wire. To the angst of fanbois everywhere, the movie deviated from canon. Some argue that the only part of the movie that should be canon is the fact that Silent Hill is in West Virginia, as that's the only state fucked up enough to have such a freak-ass town. In France, no one liked this movie.
[edit] The Scheme
The Pyramid Head scheme is a flawless business model, where someone rapes investors, and gives them the promise that they will get to keep their lives only if they convince others to join the scheme, they join, their associates join, their friends and family join, and eventually the scheme becomes to difficult for only 1 person to sustain so it fails. The only person to have ever successfully pulled off the scheme is Pyramid head where everyone ended up getting raped and losing their lives
[edit] Common Themes
- Furries
- Tentacle rape
- Psychological themes which cause users on GameFAQs to write textbooks on, using only the knowledge they gained from community college intro to psych classes.
- Rape
- Mother fucking camera that would rather focus on your character cowering in a corner than the vomiting epileptic abortions closing in on you. Rectified in Homecoming, except now you can't auto-aim your fucking guns at the whole one enemy type and two bosses you need to shoot constantly - basically, still rapes you more than enemies ever could.
- The killing off of all the hawt girls you meet along the way. You're too much of a fag to bone them anyway so STFU and quit whining.
- Even moar rape
[edit] Silent Hill 2
[edit] Gallery
 He's an inquisitive one. |
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 Raep time! |
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 How do I ate cock? |
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 Yifftastic furry fun! |
 lulz degradation |
 A giant one-eyed snake! |
 Garden Variety Furries in Silent Hill. |
 The main character of Silent Hill, Harry Mason. |
 It's raep time. |
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 Silent Hill has lots of fog. This was done intentionally to create atmosphere, and to mask the lousy engine's clipping and pop-up problems. |
 SORRY POOLS CLOSED DUE TO AIDS |
 About to get raped... |
 A hidden level in Silent Hill starring Melmo. |
 Unbeknownst to many, Pyramid Head is actually the perfect gentleman. |
 If I see that fucking pyramid one more time... |
 Fangirls/Boys wish they were James at this point... |
 suitcase means srs bsns. |
 Looks like its super kawaii desu rape time! But not kawaii desu enough... |
 Still needs more kawaii... |
 SUPER KAWAII DESU RAPE TIME HAS REACHED CRITICAL MASS! |
 raep tiem |
 Probably not grass-fed beef. |
 Pyramid Head as a young lad. |
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 Did you ever wonder what Valtiel did with Heather's body after he dragged her off? Now . . . |
 You . . . |
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 Know. |
[edit] See Also
The game Silent Hill's ripping offHAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS; SILENT HILL CAME BEFORE RE4, AND IS COPYING THE ORIGINAL RESIDENT EVIL, WHICH POSSIBLY NEEDS AN ARTICLE OF ITS OWN.- The AZNs responsible for this shit
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Silent Hill is part of a series on Gaming. |
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