Intellectual Checkmate
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit User_Talk:Goronchev.
| Any insults or criticisms made toward this user will immediately be argued in an eight-minute long YouTube video (for which adding comments will invariably be disabled) where the word "destroyed" will be used at least 30 times. |
Goronchev (aka Smugfag, MrThreePercent, Ron Lamp, Andy Ross and "Two-Tug Ron") is a 27-year-old short, skinny, racist, balding, homosexual, steroid-abusing pedophile who lives with and works for his parents dad (Mom died of Cancer - lulz) as a Virginbus technician. Goronchev realized that the only way he could make friends would be to make extremely shitty tl;dw videos of him talking about scripted-out sexual fantasies. He also thinks that the internet is serious business.
Some would argue that he is the greatest troll known to Anon, if that same person were retarded and used the length of someone's ED article as a measure for how much said person had managed to troll successfully (which is probably a fairly good idea)
Goronchev is exactly like every other camwhore on the internet, suffering from the delusion that he can destroy internet bullies with his witty arguments and large vocabulary, otherwise known as an "intellectual checkmate".
| —Goronchev |
Season 1
Goronchev appeared on 4chan in June of 2007 when a video of him was posted on /b/ in which he claimed victory over the "misc. section". Paranoid baby Anonimii ceased fapping to lolicon long enough to gangraep his YouTube with negative feedback, video responses, and mash their keyboards to produce spam comments (Consisting of DESU DESU DESU in natural /b/tard fashion). As things turned out, he was actually attacking the Misc. section at bodybuilding.com. Goronchev's attack on the Misc. section described his "intellectual checkmate" of Misc. by "using them like a condom" [1]. /b/ was slow to realize that they were not his target and initially believed this was an insult, albeit a hilariously inept one. [2]. Even after the mistake was discovered, the attacks continued as his smugness made him an instant hit with /b/tards, who enjoyed making fun of his balding head, childlike voice, and ridiculous claims about his sex life and intellectual abilities.
After Goronchev was suspended he continued with his spurious claims as MrThreePercent (Named after his penis size, which is 97% smaller than average). He began to make moar videos about the imaginary groups of beautiful women driving miles across the continent to harness his man-meat [3]
Assuming an 'Intellectual Checkmate' means something along the lines of using your wit during a debate to back your opponent into a corner from which they cannot retaliate. Goronchev does just the opposite. Looking like such a total dumbfuck debating with his camera, he actually backs himself into a corner from which he cannot escape, so he disables comments on his videos in the hope that he will never actually have to debate with anyone.
He also obsesses about his body, despite the fact that he has a perfectly round, balding, childlike head. [4] On a Stickam session in June 2007, he also claimed to have an 8 and 3/4 inch penis, which he refused to show on camera.
Kbob08 Controversy
A YouTube user named Kbob08 used to plague Goronchev with video responses. Almost all of Kbob's videos were video responses to Goronchev with the exception of his very first video which was just a retarded blob of fail where he showed his bad taste in games. One day, feeling daring, Kbob decided to flame Goronchev using a video response. This prompted Goronchev to man the harpoons and end their relationship. Goronchev thoroughly "skewered and exposed" Kbob in a video response to a video response for his video. Kbob deleted all Goronchev-related videos when TwinsanityNtranced was bashing on Kbob about being an attention leech. This victory by Goronchev only served to increase his already inflated ego and HUEG sense of unwarranted self-importance.
Shortly afterwards, Goronchev disappeared from the internet and the account "MrThreePerCent" was suspended.
P-P-P-Powerword!
Smugfag's name is Andy Ross? Oh the wonder of Facebook. This was discovered by "some faggot on Youtube," as Goronchev puts it.
Season 2
In October, he returned! Based primarily in his revived Goronchev account, he immediately declared war upon ED, posting a video in which in which he
He later admitted his mother is dead. "This was probably suicide caused by the realization that she had given birth to such a grotesque creature instead of letting the doctor falcon punch her when he revealed that the baby might have a hazardous amount of smug cells," Dr. Anonymous states.
Goronchev vigorously denies claims made on ED as to his preference for horse cock and his opinion of his superiority over /b/, citing many friends who regularly visit the site. This denial is invalidated just seconds later when he brags about owning /b/tards by "brutally" beating them down and shit-talking after a supposed raid on his Stickam room.
| —Goronchev has mad skills. |
ED is Racist? LOL WUT
| —Goronchev @ 0:35 |
ITV, faggots complain about ED.
| —Goronchev talking about his voyeurism |
| —Goronchev @ 3:54 |
| —Goronchev @ 7:17, likening himself to The Giver |
| —Goronchev's "thorough destruction" of ED's article on him |
| STOP. 'BIG ASS WORDS AHEAD' |
Goronchev is Moar Racist
| —Goronchev @ 7:13 |
Goronchev ED’s AGAIN
Here is a list of facts from these videos.
- Goronchev has the ability to read Encyclopedia Dramatica.
- The only thing smaller than a Jew's penis is a negro's "To Do" list
- The only thing on a negro's "To Do" list is a Jew's small penis
- Jews did WTC
- Someone whose primary source of income is performing menial chores around the house has time too precious to waste on ED.
- Even the intellectually superior can sometimes miss the point.
- He is not 27 years old, but 15 years old.
- He said he never pretends to rape girls 10 years younger then him; not that never rapes young girls.
- His IQ is 26 instead of 25.
- He likes dog ass; not horse cock.
- He did not beat down 30 guys at once; he raped more than 30 boys over the last year.
TL;DR: Smugfag needs to learn English, satire, and the basics of a wiki.
A Winrar is You
When every other video site doesn't work out for you and your support and views have dwindled to nothing, what do you do? That's right! You make your very own website! Actually, you have a friend make your very own website. Actually, you have your friend make a channel for your very own website. Actually, you have your friend create a channel with your name on it for a corporate website and call it yours. YAY!!!
Season 3
OH NO GUYS, GUESS WHO!? Yep, Goronchev. After claiming in his last ED video that he wasn't going to make a new video on ED because we "are not worth his time" he makes another 7 minute video DESTROYING ED, LoL! I can't wait for Video 3!
He destroys ED... again
Another "Intellectual Cockmate". Yeah, the comments, responses, and everything are disabled.
| —Smugfag |
Disregard the fact that he's already won "Dipshit of the Year" award for getting a hat with his fucking YouTube username on it, which automatically is the biggest example of fail. In this video, Ron intellectually checkmates himself by stating that ED selectively targets minority vloggers. He says verbatim that AND I QUOTE "They will hurl racial epithets at minority vloggers, but I've never seen them do that to white vloggers...They most certainly do NOT treat all equally". This is stupid on so many levels that's it's tough to know where to begin. First of all, anybody that's been on YouTube longer than 2 minutes will notice that it has about 5 minority vloggers, total. Secondly, hurling racial epithets at a white person is about as effective as fighting fatness with cheeseburgers. Third, you're reading an article that "targets" a white vlogger right fucking now. Fourthly, he repeatedly states "they leave people's phone numbers and addresses up for days" without realizing that Encyclopedia Dramatica is a wiki. Also, he says "what's gayer than a man trying to find another man's address?" which means that every single man on Earth who has ever tried to get a friend or family member's address is gay. His dad has probably tried to find someone's address at least once, which means he is gay...he may also have tried to find the address of someone in his family, which means he's an incestuous fag. Smugfag "personally" thinks that racist jokes aren't funny. He obviously believes that his opinion of comedy represents everyone's on the planet. If Smugfag doesn't think it's funny, it isn't. Also, is that enormous zit on his lower cheek bothering anyone else? srsly. Plus, did he not say in his first video against ED that he will AND I QUOTE, "and im not going to make any videos centering on you ever again... there will be no rematch" Yet he comes back again to defend his statements in another video against ED. I HAVE EVIDENCE
0:50-1:01 - Goronchev looking back on the good old days. 6:29 - lol What friends?
TL;DW VERSION: lols, look at the fuckin Eazy-E hat and chain. Also he has a fancy accent.
Plus: lewolsolz 0 friends.
Not Gay
As mentioned previously, Goronchev is rather insecure about himself. One of the major insecurities he faces is his sexuality. While one can clearly determine from his steroid body suit and overall personality that he possesses traits similar to that of a typical fudge-packer, Goronchev uses his incredible wit to lie about it. Why else would a self-proclaimed heterosexual feel the need to constantly validate this point to random people on the interweb? (See:Gorgeous George)
| —Methinks Goronchev doth protest too much |
| —Smugfag, remarking on his favorite activity. |
Smugfag apparently has a girlfriend, and states that according to HOTorNOT, she is a 10/107.1/10*. 10/10 on the fugly scale is moar like it. It is possible that she's MTF.
To keep with his denial of his homosexuality, Goronchev likes to make videos talking about how he had epic sex with various lolis and how they really enjoyed it. All of his totally true sex stories are usually humorous, which is strange because sex is only hilarious when it involves clowns.
Using THE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATION, Goronchev took his heterosexuality to new heights of faggotry. Women and men everywhere can now laugh at his pathetic deviant sexual fantasies, upon which they told him to STFU and GTFO and he was subsequently chased back to his hugbox to escape the evil internet whores.
*HOTorNOT uses a regulation system that accounts for half of the graph, making the results seem bigger than they actually are. Smugdyke is really a 3.5! Lulz!
On February 27th, 2008 at approximately 10:15 PM EST, Goronchev was spotted in the CAM or GTFO chatroom of Stickam.com. At this time, he openly made a challenge towards a female member concerning his superiority over females in giving oral stimulation of the penis. This further supports Goronchev's quest in proving that he is not gay.
Another note, that one of his favorite music stars is Gwen Stefani, which would only count if someone was gay or a girl. So much for purposely putting that as your favorite band, smugfag. (if you didn't notice already, He has have very diverse tastes!. Came from his stickam channel. His other favourite is a rapper named Jadakiss which is a rapper who wants money, respect and the power. Like a mexican druglord. Enough about that. We can tell his music tastes can be quite revealing, that this shows his coming out the closet is formed out of his music tastes. I wouldn't even be surprised that if he made a video showing his real life boyfriend if he ever had one, who would also be like Jack McFarland from Penis and Jew.
Things Smugfag has claimed to have done
- Be fitter than the entire US marine corps[5]
- "Nearly killing a hardcore thug"[6]
- Beating up 30 guys at the same time [7]
- Getting job offers from YouTube [8]
- Intellectually check-mating us [9]
- Had sex. Like, more than once. [10]
- Having a "larger than average penis". Seriously. [11]
- Made disguisting sex with BigGayAl, his no.1 internet lover [12](DISREGARD THAT THEY HAD A LOVERS QUARREL AND ARE NOW IN INTERNET BATTLE MODE)
Say Something Worthwhile
Goronchev thinks using words that he thinks are big will fool people into believing that his childish insults are insightful arguments. These "arguments" make up half of his videos, in which he also brags about his 1337 skillz, IRL.
When hes not spewing insults, he states the obvious.
Pedophilia
Recently, Goronchev admitted to raeping kids.
His words, not ours.
Goronchev is Bothered by Hypocrisy
Goronchev is bothered by, and Intellectual Checkmated by Hypocrisy.
Clearly, as he is bothered by hypocrisy while at the same time practicing it, he has only one option.
AND IT DOESN'T END THERE. IT DOESN'T END THERE. Goronchev haet Hypocrisy even moar:
The video Goronchev doesn't want you to see. The proof of his Gay Pedophilia:
hes a sicko
Myths About Goronchev
Myth: "Goronchev doesn't work for his parents" This one is false. Goronchev actually caught his cancer from his dead mother (Lulz, Smugfag haets when u insult his condition). So because he is a sex slave to his father, he stays there and works.
Myth: "Goronchev actually had sex this one time" This is also false. He is a ginger and they only reproduce by mitosis, not meiosis. So scientifically it's impossible if a woman were to say, be lured into his hive, he couldn't do much more than maybe show her his dildo.
Myth: "Goronchev is NOT a gay pedophile" This one is also false. We have the pictures, videos, and eye witness testimonies to prove it. Click here to see it.
Myth: "Goronchev isn't sick" The fact of the matter is that he is. He is suffering from leukemia and is slowly but surely losing his hair. Without his hat he looks like Frankenstein/That Bald Rapist in Prison. Though he said we cannot remove him from the internets, his cancer surely can.
Myth: "Goronchev has a dick" This one is empirically untrue. Looking at his blog we see that he used a dildo to fake his penis length. Obviously, pics or it didn't happen.
Myth: "Goronchev cares about black people" This is not true. Lets look at a few quotes from his posted youtube vids:
| —Smugfag |
Myth: "Goronchev haets us" Not true, look at this quote:
| —Smugfag/Goronchev |
Dr. Anonymous Weighs In
| —Anonymous |
Smugfag appears on Fox 11 Los Angeles....
Goronchev was recently on Faux News to discuss cyber-bullying and Anonymous. He is now an "expert" on cyberbullying. Smugfag gets about 9 seconds worth of face-time. He earlier promoted his television premiere on his Jewtube and suggested that perhaps the Fox people would post the rest of his interview on the website.
Remember bulling is rabbit on the internets.
In one of his videos bragging about this incredible feat, he claims that he was "chosen" do an interview, despite the fact that Fox asks people to call in to be screened for these interviews.
WARNING: SMUGFAG IS THE LEADING CORRESPONDENT ON FOX NEWS FOR CYBERBULLYING. HE WAS ON THERE FOR 16 SECONDS (9 SECONDS SPEAKING), EVEN THOUGH HE SHOT OVER 1 HOUR OF FOOTAGE THAT FOX NEVER USED. HE IS BETTER THAN YOU FOR BEING ON FAUX NEWS. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON THE NEWS? [13]
LOL removed from youtube for cyberbulling [14]
...but was it really his debut?
YOU be the judge:
1) Watch the smash-hit of summer 2007, "Anon vs. Faux News" again [15]
2) Pay particular attention to the leet haXXor in silhouette at 1:45, 1:57 ("they get what they call 'lulz'..." NOTE THE SMUG PRONUNCIATION!!!) and 3:02
3) EYE SPY BASEBALL CAP AND COLLARED SHIRT! - official uniform of the International Association of Smugfags, as shown in his armada of motherfucking YouTube videos.
4) Watch the 2008 cult classic "Brett Keane interviews Goronchev" (only the first 30 seconds, it's a fucking epic a la Battlefield Earth otherwise) [16]
5) Note this delicious nugget of dialogue:
- SMUGFAG: Rupert Murduch is all over this sweet, young, tight ass, yes indeed.
- KEANE: So what exactly is the Fox News going to be doing with you, bro?
- SMUGFAG: Yeah, well here's the deal: we already did a thing. You may not know this, but...
In conclusion - it's him. Amirite or amirite?
Goronchev Haet Anonymous :(
Goronchev, noticing his subscription count is failing, as well as the fact that shitty youtube profiles get as much views as him, has decided to leech off Anon's popularity like one certain faggot recently.
Goatse is more interesting than this 17-minute long video rant.
Overall, his video reeks of defense mechanisms a 12 year old on the playground could spot out. Such as "I NOT GHEY, UR GHEY FUR TRYING 2 DOX ME". The other alternative in his mind is that "OMG THEY TRY TO KILL ME, I HAS GUNS", but fails to realize that doxing is for lulz. He curses in weird places in order to seem "mature", but anyone with a brain can see through this. Goronchev has also admitted the fact that he is like herpes.
So, in conclusion, Goronchev has jumped the Shark literally in this video [17] and even brags about it on his shitty websites. So, INTELLECTUAL CHECKMATE GORONCHEV.
Quotes:
'You can't beat me Anonymous, I have a gun!' 'I welcome all Anonymous' rage'
Gallery
| Gallery of Intellect | ||||||||||||||||||
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External Links
- Smugfag's UnOfficial Website (Fat Guy Brett Keane owns him)
- Smugfag's MySpace
Smugfag's OTHER MySpayceLol private- Smugfag's Stickam
- Smugfag's OTHER Stickam made to hide from anon
- Smugfag's 3rd Stickam profile made to hide from himself
- Smugfag's YouTube
Smugfag's OTHER YouTubeLol suspendedSpoof YouTube created by a /b/tardSuspended- Smugfag's "secret" account. Posing as anonymous and failing at it(though he denies this is him.}
- Smugfag's LiveVideo
- yourvision.magnify.net his failed video site (he decided to disabled them this time, like a pussy but people who post need approval now(even people who like him. Guess what he's a hypocrite and would make a excuse to make us feel butthurt).
- Gayspot He intentionally left comments enabled for people] to flame, because he gets jewgold from google for each visit. Make sure you use an adblocker. (He also disabled comments on blogspot too, looks like he got pissed off once again like a true faggot, and going the way of jewtube comment disabling, to ignore internet drama, and obvious hateful comments he is willing to deserve, what a whiny little shit).
Smugfag's Community College, made of fail and AIDSDidn't go to College, OH LAWD!Whining about High SchoolLol private[18][19][20] Smugfag declaring war on various chansZOMG Private? How are we going to stroke your e-peen now???- Smugfag on FOX11 NEWS He calls himself a 'victim'.
- Where he hides when people piss him off
See Also
- TheSockDetective
- MrFetch
- Unwarranted self-importance
- Internet tough guy
- Not Gay
- Lolcow
- Asking for it
- GreenTeaGirlie
- Kbob08
- Ugly
- Pedophile
- Failure
- Idiot
 |
Intellectual Checkmate is part of a series on YouTube |
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