Faulty Logic
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Faulty Logic refers to a set of eighteen holes in the arguments typically presented by Christians, Republicans and other mouth-breathers. As a flame war technique, it is surprisingly ineffectual against those most vulnerable to it, because telling people that they're stupid doesn't stop them from believing in an invisible old man in the sky. It can still be used casually, however, as an effective tool for putting your opponent on guard and costing them extra mental anguish by making them think too hard about things. Example:
- Prima: If we don't ban the furries, next we'll have the diaperfurs in here.
- Secunda: BZZZT! Slippery slope!
By and large it's a great way of working really hard to make yourself look like a complete nerd. Nonetheless, here it is for posterity.
| Example | BZZT! |
| 711chan has an /i/. 4chan doesn't have an /i/, and they get on fine without it. | False Analogy. 4chan users are too busy posting THE BEST and bitching about each other to organize. |
| Everyone wants to get laid. GHB will get you laid. Therefore, everyone should buy Aqua Dots. | False Premise. Not everyone wants to be pwnt in the ass by Bubba. |
| Wikipedia admins are great. They revert and delete new pages every day! | Red Herring. Assumes good faith on the part of the Wikipedos. |
| Roger shouldn't be allowed within two miles of children. He's a furry. | Ad hominem, although totally justified in this case. |
| Roger shouldn't be allowed to go to Anthrocon. He's a diaperfur. | Genetic Fallacy. Simular to ad hominem, and likewise totally justified in this case. |
| Children are abused on the Sea Org by locking them in the hold, and you call us "Protestfags!" | Appeal To Pity. Similar to red herring. Regardless of Child Abuse, holding up a "LONGCAT IS LONG LOL" sign still makes you a fag. |
| 12chan must have no pedophiles at all - nobody there has ever been v& for cp! | Appeal To Ignorance. Pedobear is a crafty beast. |
| If we don't put all the black people in prison, they'll steal our televisions. | Either/Or Fallacy. Assumes that putting black people in prison will stop them from stealing televisions. |
| People get CP from 12chan. Therefore, reading 12chan turns you into a pedophile. | Post Hoc, Ergo Procter Hoc. Many 12chan users read ED too - does reading ED make you look at CP? (Yes) |
| Emo kids listen to My Chemical Romance, and many of them become An Hero. Therefore, listening to My Chemical Romance makes you kill yourself. | Concurrence Fallacy. Not everybody who listens to My Chemical Romance kills themselves. But they should. |
| History tells us that six million died during the Holocaust. | Personified Abstraction. "History," does not "Tell" us anything, revisionist sympathizers do. |
| I surf 4chan every Saturday. I can tell it's a great place to get pictures of cats. | Ill-Founded Generalization. If you went on Friday you may come to the conclusion that it was a furry site. |
| People who surf 12chan are bigger pedos than those who surf 4chan. Roger surfs 12chan. Roger should be arrested as a pedophile. | Non-Sequitur. Roger may have already run a magnet over his hard drive. |
| Joshua is a Jew because he always tricks people out of money. | Circular Reasoning (Tautology). The correct syntax should be Joshua always tricks people out of money because he is a Jew. |
| Places like Wikipedia should require email login. | Begging The Question to conceal a second argument. Wikipedia cannot ask for email login, or Jimbo would not be able to walk around with a giant moral hardon. The argument is really "Wikipedia should require email login." |
| Anonymous is morally neutral. Sean says "But I really care about Chanology." Therefore, Sean is not an Anon. | Equivocation. Anonymous contains moralfags, protestfags, newfags and oldfags, but the most annoying of all are the ones who whine "Internet hive mind!" and tell people where to get off. |
| Sarah went to ITT Tech, and she says big colleges like Harvard aren't that great. | Appeal To Wrong Authority. SERIOUSLY wrong authority. |
| Don't let your kids watch Rescue Rangers. They'll end up going furry for Gadget and asking you for a fursuit. | Slippery Slope. One thing does not necessarily follow another. But it does. It totally fucking does. |
| PROVE ME WRONG | Shifting Burden of Proof. It will get you banned on 4chan, PROVE ME WRONG. |
|
Faulty Logic is part of a series on Language & Communication. |
||
