Cult of the Dead Cow

In God We Thrust

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We are all qualified CISSP and every word of these articles is sound security advice. Shooting yourself IS an option.

Date: 6/4/95 7:19 PM
From: Swamp Ratte

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

FOR MORE INFORMATION, CONTACT: sratte@cascade.net

A statement from CULT OF THE DEAD COW/cDc communications:

It is our belief that L. Ron "Old Mother" Hubbard is to be held
accountable 
for the deaths of thousands of innocent men, women, and children in the 
"Killing Fields" of Phnum Penh, as we suspect that Pol Pot was a 
Scientologist!

We believe that El Ron Hubbard is actually none other than Heinrich Himmler
of the SS, who fled to Argentina and is now responsible for the stealing
of babies from hospitals and raising them as "super-soldiers" for the purpose
of overthrowing the U.S. Fed. Govt. in a bloody revolution. We fear plans
for a "Fourth Reich" to be established on our home soil under the vise-like
grip of oppression known as Scientology!

In order to preserve our way of life and keep the torch of freedom lit
for future generations, we feel it is our duty as responsible world citizens
to declare WAR on the so-called "CHURCH" OF SCIENTOLOGY.

As future developments occur, we will broadcast them to the free world
as soon as possible. Thank you for your time.

S. Ratte'
CULT OF THE DEAD COW/cDc communications
Fearless Leader

Following the declaration the alt.religion.scientology board experienced a huge jump in traffic as curious individuals flocked to the source of the mayhem. The request to close the group was roundly ignored, and the dissemination of information from the alt.religion.scientology boards was viewed as a major defeat for Scientologists.

Almost thirteen years later the Scientologists found themselves in a similar situation after a copyright claim was filed against YouTube and later Gawker Media regarding the distribution of a Tom Cruise propaganda video. Around the same time the cDc announced a powerful new tool named "Goolag" that uses the copious amounts of information collected by Google to find exploitable parts of websites. Coincidence? Conspiracy? Epic lulz? Only time will tell.

Notable cDc Moments

• 1987 - Tippy Turtle authors cDc's ingenious 18th issue, titled Bunny Lust.

• Nov 4, 1994 -- cDc claims to have afflicted Ronald Reagan with Alzheimer's.

• Responds to Microsoft's accusation of causing insecurity:

"Back Orifice is a Rorschach for Microsoft credibility. Microsoft's own official response to us was issued as a marketing bulletin! Does anybody else besides cDc find it disturbing that the Marketing Department is running the show over there?"

• During his genocide trial, Slobodan Milosevic questions Dr. Patrick Ball about his relationship with cDc -- prompting conspiracy theories that h4X0rs hate Serbs.

Links

• Totse's collection of CDC files
• The cDc's latest tool for aspiring script kiddies, Goolag.
• cDc's Sooper Sekrit Homepage

Cult of the Dead Cow is a part of a series on acronyms.

Internets Lingo BFF • BTW • FTW • GTFO • IAWTC • IIRC • ILY • IMO • IMHO • LMAO • LOL • OMG • ROFL • STFU • TMI • TTYL • WTF • ZOMG Other Lingo FIRRIB • FYIAD • FUBAR • GABYAW • IDIFTL • PITR • TLA • YHBT Internet Places/Group CDC • FCTC • FYAD • GNAA • IRC • LUE • TJC • TOTSE Moar Internet Shit BBQ • GNU • MMORPG • P2P IRL Acronyms BBS • BCE • ITT Tech • NORP • TLC Bad Acronyms ALF • BDSM • BLP • CIA • CP • CSD • DMCA • ESRB • FBI • FA • FFA • FNB • IWF • L.U.L.Z. • MPAA • NAMBLA • NEDM • RIAA • TOW • WWJD