Perl
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Perl is part of a series on Programming.
- C
- Debug
- DOS
- Error
- Fdisk
- Integer
- Java
- Machine Code
- Open Source
- Perl
- PHP
- Programming language
- Python
- QBASIC
- Ruby on Rails
- SSH
Programmers:
Other topics: Operating system, Warez, Notepad, Is not a bug, it's a feature, Database error
Perl is a popular programming language used mostly for tasks too complicated for shell scripts and CGI programming -- and after all, we can't have things too user-friendly, can we? It is the brain-child of the homosexual linguist Larry Wall who created it with the intention of diving for pearls. But then he discovered that diving for pearls is more of a lesbian activity. After shopping for a vagina on eBay, Larry was disheartened. He therefore decided to unleash his frustrations by creating a language that could only be written, but not read. Also, Perl trumps Ruby on Fails, lulz. Perl wins.
It is said that anything you might want to write can be done with CPAN and 40 lines of Perl code and that Perl is about a million times more concise than Java.
Perl nerds (who call themselves "monks") are people who learn the highly intricate syntax to a point where they are actually able to read simplistic Perl code written by others. This, of course, is evidence that masturbation is alive and well.
One of the most famous Perl enthusiasts is ghettofinger. A shadowy mastermind of drama masquerading as a simple internets user, ghettofinger employs Perl to continually power and make more efficient the drama gulag. This illustrates that Perl is the most evil and drama-producing thing on the internets today.
The creator of Perl named it after the concept of The Pearl of Heaven, that the language is as beautiful as heaven itself. What do you think, is it as beautiful? Here's an example of a Perl program:
$_='while(read+STDIN,$_,2048){$a=29;$b=73;$c=142;$t=255;@t=map{$_%16or$t^=$c^=(
$m=(11,10,116,100,11,122,20,100)[$_/16%8])&110;$t^=(72,@z=(64,72,$a^=12*($_%16
-2?0:$m&17)),$b^=$_%64?12:0,@z)[$_%8]}(16..271);if((@a=unx"C*",$_)[20]&48){$h
=5;$_=unxb24,join"",@b=map{xB8,unxb8,chr($_^$a[--$h+84])}@ARGV;s/...$/1$&/;$
d=unxV,xb25,$_;$e=256|(ord$b[4])<<9|ord$b[3];$d=$d>>8^($f=$t&($d>>12^$d>>4^
$d^$d/8))<<17,$e=$e>>8^($t&($g=($q=$e>>14&7^$e)^$q*8^$q<<6))<<9,$_=$t[$_]^
(($h>>=8)+=$f+(~$g&$t))for@a[128..$#a]}print+x"C*",@a}';s/x/pack+/g;eval
Another example:
$/=$_;$,=shift;$w=$a=shift;$k{+shift}=1;socket S,2,1,6;bind S,&a;for(listen
S,5;$SIG{ALRM}=\&i;m! (\S+) ([e-i])([^/]*)/!s&&($k{$w=$1}=$,eq$`)&&&$2){alarm
9;(accept(C,S),alarm 0)?read C,$_,1e6:($_="$, $a f".shift)}sub i{}sub t{socket
C,2,1,6;$k{$w}&&=(connect C,&a)?print C"$, ".pop:0;close C}sub h{t"$_ i/"for
keys%k}sub a{$w=~/:/;pack'CxnC4x8',2,$',split'\.',$`}sub f{$w=$_,t"$1 $3/"for
keys%k}sub e{open C,'>',$3;print C $'}sub g{open(C,'<',$3)&&t"$a e$3/".<C>;&h}
The above code is the smallest P2P program known to man, called Molester and supposedly pronounced "mole ster." This speaks volumes about the mindset of the average Perl user.
[edit] How a Perl script is made
