Fucktard
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A fucktard is a special variety of retard whose condition arises not from clinically demonstrable neurological impairment, but from buttersnap shitfuckery of the mind.
Invariably, first person detection of third person fucktardation is immediately followed by denial, often verbally expressed, especially in the form, "No one's THAT fucking stupid." This differs from the hypothetical scenario of first person fucktardation detection in that it actually occurs. Fucktards do not simply defy common sense, they are pathologically incapable of recognizing the obvious, so even mirrors fail them. Or, more correctly, they fail mirrors. Moar Basicly for the Fucktart in U: their so dum god h8s them even moar then swedan or fagz.
There is a great difference between an idiot and a fucktard. For example, an idiot might accidentally burn your stove with a grease fire. A fucktard will burn not only your stove, but your cat, your best corset, and possibly even your face. Should you suffer the sympathetic misfortune of being at work when this happens, there is a high probability that he will burn that, too. Essentially, a fucktard will burn your life, and he will do so entirely by misadventure. He's that good.
Fucktardation is at least one-hundred times more likely than faggotry to produce lose. Classic examples of fucktarded behaviors include but are not limited to: self-mutilation, eating one's own boogers, identifying with groups like PETA or the Republican party, pooping in public, committing failed suicide, shaving designs into one's hair (excluding pubic), or bragging about anything just mentioned despite the fact that they haven't.
Often, fucktards mistake premises for conclusions, and vice versa, resulting in spectacular demonstrations of ultrafail, a condition whereby feats of epic failure are made possible. Assuming you speak Queef, a rare gaze into the mind of the fucktard is possible, but as this yields babblefuck shit-carnival, many prefer instead to upgrade the fucktard. An excellent method toward that end is to "prove" some outlandishly false proposition to the fucktard. This can be almost anything, but the more batshit, the more fucktard enriching.
One of the most fucktarded things about fucktards is that no matter what you tell them, they will never know, or believe, that they are fucktarded, because fucktards are also renowned not to know what fucktardation even is. This is conventionally attributed to genetic deprecation of An Heroism, unless the fucktard is also a fag, in which case he is a weapon of god against mundanes, and only by that grace permitted to live.
Fucktards do not have friends. Not even other fucktards. This is blatantly evident to most everyone else, but as fucktardation prevents fucktards from ever interpreting social cues non-fucktardedly, no amount of explicitly voiced contempt will ever register in a fucktard's mind as genuine disapproval. Rather, all seemingly disparaging commentary will be interpreted as veiled accolade, or, at worst, sarcastically rendered jolliness. The extent to which the latter interpretation describes reality, however marred by the fucktard's congenital inability to distinguish "with" from "at," will only confirm to the fucktard that his awesomeness remains unchallenged.
Without exception, fucktards require immersion in fucktarded subcultures in order to demonstrate group-derived personal originality (like these fucktards), often so fucktardedly as to chicken-and-egg paradox their own fucktardation. Wands, swords, or dragons are frequently involved, potentially in pot luck slurry with entirely unrelated camps of fucktardation, such as Limited An Heroism. Even though these groups helpfully enable high-accuracy associative diagnosis of fucktardation, it is important to note that some members may actually just be retards, hotards, or vegans. It is not uncommon to witness fucktards wearing t-shirts that are printed with humorous designs that they do not understand the meaning of, or bands that they have never even listened to. Elderly fucktards that have managed to live a long life by pure irony and luck are likely to wear tubesocks on their hands and sport "I like Ike" campaign buttons on election day or Christmas.
Someone who has never met a fucktard will believe the above to be an exaggeration, but someone who has supposedly never met a fucktard is very likely a fucktard, so disbelief may also be considered diagnostic indication of shut up. For an article on fucktards written in a futile attempt by actual fucktards, visit this link: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Fucktard
Advice from a Facebook Fucktard
A fucktard tries to be deep in thought producing this:
Gallery
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