Pitchfork

Move aside, grainy YouTube videos and official band statements. When Jeff Tweedy punches a dude in the face, he provides fans with the accurate (and juicy) details.

One such fan is Pitchfork reader Tyler Gould, who sent an MP3 account of the incident, straight from the horse's mouth. The recording was made on October 27 at the Foellinger Auditorium in Champaign, Illinois, where Tweedy was playing a solo show.

He begins his explanation by joking with fans, "The distance between where I'm standing and where you are is in no way, shape, or form a result of being attacked the other day."

The crowd goes wild, overpowering whatever Tweedy says next, but there's a definite "I know I punch like a girl" toward the end of its eruption.

He continues, "Actually, I was pretty surprised. I really let that dude have it...

"Somebody jumped on stage the other night at a Wilco show, did the 'Woooo!' you know, like to his friends or whatever, 'Look at me! I'm really drunk and on crystal meth or something!' It's Southern Missouri, you know, so..."

He then explained the lack of security at the gig, which took place October 16 at Springfield, MO's Shrine Mosque. Result? "During the show, lots of different things were happening; there were people getting pushed around in front, some girl came up on stage and sat down and started playing piano. While this was all being taken care of, we had a little break and we played our whole set and we came off, and there was this girl laying around, flopping around on the floor. Tried to get rid of her, she sat down and played the piano, so basically everybody was taking care of that...

"So we're standing there...we're starting a song 'Airline to Heaven', got the guitar, we're playing...I don't know if you know this, but when you're playing guitar, it's kind of like you're wearing handcuffs...so i see this nice little boy who looks like he's Devandra Burnhart [spelling representative of Tweedy's pronunciation] or whatever his name is...He actually stepped on a young woman's wheelchair to get onstage. I'm not kidding, that's the truth. That's how he got onstage! I'm not exaggerating; he just hopped up onstage, right up her wheelchair.

"And I'm playing, and the thoughts in my head are going, "Okay, okay, here he comes. Okay. He's just going to wave to his buddies and there he goes, okay...

"Any other night, I would have said he could probably have fondled me or something and I would've known within five or six seconds tops, a couple of guys in big yellow shirts would have been like pummeling him. Not that he needed to have that happen, but...So anyway the next thing I know, I feel this hand on my forehead. I'd just had it. I'd had it at that point...I'm quick like a knife, cat-like reflexes."

At this time, based on crowd reaction, we believe Tweedy demonstrated these special abilities before continuing, "The next day, 'Tweedy Attacks Fan," right?" referring to, um, various publications.

For Tweedy's full account, download the MP3 below.

As previously reported, Tweedy's DVD, Sunken Treasure: Live in the Pacific Northwest: hit shelves last week via Nonesuch. Purchasers of the film will receive a download of the audio counterpart free.

In other news, the Wilco frontman recently revealed a few new solo tour dates. In addition to two full-band slots at Chicago's Auditorium Theatre next month (November 24 and 25), Tweedy will play:

10-30 Milwaukee, WI - Pabst Theater *
11-29 Dublin, Ireland - Vicar Street
12-01 Madrid, Spain - La Riviera
12-02 Barcelona, Spain - Auditori Rockdelux

* with the Autumn Defense