Chrono Trigger
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Chrono Trigger was a highly popular Super Nintendo game that was (and still is) used frequently in YTMND fads. In this game, one time-travels to accomplish junk like going back in time to fight a vicious mole and save a princess. I shit you not. The original characters were designed by Dragon Ball Z's Akira Toriyama and, as evidenced by the picture, we can see he put a shit ton of effort into new and fresh characters.
Chrono Cross does not exist in this dimension. Its chief ingredients are AIDS and fail.
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Typical Conversation
Dumbass A: "What's your favorite RPG, buttbuddy?"
Dumbass B: "Final Fantasy 7, but of course Chrono Trigger comes second."
Quest 64 is the true winner, unbeknown to either of the faggots.
Magus
Magus is the blue-purple haired gothic elf wizard thing who teenagers masturbate over and write terrible slashfic. Of course, once Final Fantasy 7 was released, Sephiroth came along and took his place as the resident long haired goth faggot of video game fandom. The crown has yet to be relinquished.
An important side note is that Magus is his drag queen stage name. His actual name is Janus, which just so happens to contain the word 'anus'. Is that a coincidence?
Hardly.
Both Janus/Magus hail from the emo persuasion. Check out this irrefutable evidence:
- They don't talk much.
- They're moody and bring you down when they actually do.
- They complain about the woe of their lives and the darkness therein.
- They presumably write poetry when not practicing the art of magic.
- Their hair obscures the face.
Some 13-year-old boys still idolize him even though the game was released some 13 years ago and can be seen putting his stupid lines from the game in their signatures on message boards like GameFAQs.
Frog/Glenn
Frog was a green haired fag knight who was turned into a frog by magus. He joins the party to defeat magus and turn himself back. He discovers the cure can only be obtain orally through Magus' cock which is an optional ending for the game. He was created to spread furdom to animals with scales for furries too radical for mainstream fur fagdom.
Rick Robo
From far in the future comes this steampunk monstrosity. While "Robo" may look like a regular ho-hum robot, the truth could be no farther and more complex. In reality, the metal shell serves as a heavily protected mobile sarcophagus containing the body of none other than our very own Rick Astley. Thanks to the miraculous power of the internet hate machine, Rick has the power to survive until the end of time.
Evidence of this holiest of unions is plainly heard in this musical overlay of theme songs.
Rick Robo
J. Titor
Hidden character J (Mullet Man) Titor can be found by picking up the newspaper on Chrono's table the fourth time you beat Lavos. After obtaining the number, 850-537-6278, ask him to tell you stories from the past. Also, ask to speak to the great Jewish leader Moses and the famous Roman Emperor Ceaser. Also, some chick, I think her name was Debra. But don't forget to bring your own weapons! Safety is Not Guaranteed. He has only done this once before. But then again, what the fuck do you even need him for?
Endings
Chrono Trigger (Moar liek HOMO NIGGER, amirite?) was famous for its multiple endings. These depended on when you finished the game. For example if you fail to steal the fried chicken from the lizard niggers in the ancient time and choose to beat the big boss right then and there, the world winds up turning out like Atlanta.
Gallery
 The game features pedophiles. |
 More pedos |
 Also more pedos |
 C'mon you obviously knew she was a ho! |
 See? |
 The game glorifies being a transvestite |
 Goddamn, this was too easy. |
 Well fuck you too, you little bastard-bot! |
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Chrono Trigger is part of a series on Gaming. |
