NGO
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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NGO is a website with "optimized drivers" that makes games run better on your PC.
Their website is full of completely unrelated shit nobody cares about and is about as relevant as giant enemy crabs. If you have a question, you're fucked - the only articles in the guides are "how to do proper PR" and more interesting stuff. If it doesn't work (90% of the time it won't) you're double fucked. If you visit that website to seriously look up gossip and scandals, say Candlejack and
[edit] Complaint Describing Everything
The NGO Driver Experience
I have a Dell laptop with a shitty processor (1.66 core 2 duo) and an 8600M GT GPU. I thought "hey NGO drivers can improve performance and hopefully make my PC not heat up so much by consuming less resources."
So I register to the website. I log on to yahoo right after and there's over 9,000 messages in the "bulk" folder. I empty it. I check my inbox, no confirmation e-mail. An hour later I assume it was considered spam and come back to do a "resend activation e-mail." I look all over this website, 99% of the SHIT on it is about COMPLETELY unrelated bullshit no one gives a fuck about and would never check a website about optimized Nvidia drivers for (like a fucking PR guide for a company).
I can't even remember how, but in some way I got it to resend or just registered a new account, and now finally I've got an account to login to the "chat" thing and ask some quick questions.
The chat is completely devoid of life.
I look all over the website, finding absolutely no information about very simple yet VERY IMPORTANT things you would expect from a website offering custom drivers, such as:
Which driver version is recommended for you to download A tutorial on how to install the driver, in case you miss something Which cards are supported (GEE THAT JUST SLIPPED THEIR FUCKING MIND) Whether or not the drivers work for laptops (AGAIN SLIPPED THEIR FUCKING MIND)
After realizing there isn't SHIT on this fucking website, I check the forum. I do a forum search, and find an incredibly simple question and response in a thread - something like this:
| —Some Dipshit |
| —Another Dipshit |
HOW FUCKING INFORMATIVE! Must mean that if you just download the most recent driver version from the right category (nvidia in my case) it should work flawlessly, simple as the thread.
WRONG! They lied.
I download the most recent NGO nvidia driver (2.9 or something) and remove the old drivers from add/remove programs in safe mode, reboot, and when I try to startup in safe mode the PC just reboots itself. So I startup normally, a new fatal error greets me warmly at the login screen but (THANK GOD!) doesn't completely fk up the PC, login, run the installer, and some bullshit comes up about how it can't install or some shit.
I check the forum. Apparently "Mobile cards aren't supported yadda yadda." O RLY? WHY THE FUCK DID THE OTHER THREAD SAY NGO DRIVERS WORK ON LAPTOPS, YET APPARENTLY "MOBILE CARDS" (AKA FUCKING LAPTOPS) AREN'T SUPPORTED? WHAT THE FUCK? AND WHY THE FUCK IS THE WEBSITE SO UNINFORMATIVE?
So I look on Dell and download drivers from them. Their driver installation is fucking weird - after downloading 8600M GT drivers, it says "8400M drivers unzipped" or some shit...okay nice info bug in a DRIVER INSTALLATION, shows how precarious your shit is Dell! Or I guess they have the same 8600 drivers as 8400 yet have 2 seperate downloads for some fucking reason.
All in all your website fucking sucks, your drivers fucking suck, and I hate how fucking stupid you are to have the only shit in your "guides" section be:
Upgrading a Motherboard without Reinstalling ASUS A8N-SLI Bios Mod (What the fuck does that mean again?) And last but not even close to being relevant!: How to do proper PR
DAMN I'M LIEK SO GLAD I READ ABOUT HOW TO DO PROPER PR ON THE NGO WEBSITE, IT SAVED MY LYFE!
P.S.: And why the fuck would I check an NGO drivers website for scandals? What the fuck? This website is like some faggot People magazine hybrid or whatever the fuckheads read these days.
I suppose you assholes made this website "for the lulz" or something because this is a fucking joke.
[edit] External Links
http://www.ngohq.com/home.php - Side effects may include: Fucking pissed, incredible rage, vomiting, anger, baby punching, confusion, distortion, and any side effect from viewing Wikipedia.
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NGO is part of a series on Gaming. |
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