AMD

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Typical motherboard with an AMD chip
Typical motherboard with an AMD chip

Founded by a posse of Italian gigolos, they quickly discovered that there wasn't much of a market for a he-brothel named Advanced Micro Devices. So in 1978, AMD decided to switch to whoring out microchips. They first gained notoriety from selling x86-cloned CPUs. Intel whined about it and sent AMD to court. The judge ruled that since AMD was reverse-engineering their chips, they could continue selling them. Intel then put a vendetta on AMD's head. The war was on. Only, instead of spreading FUD like any decent company would, Intel began breaking the legs of OEMs who offered computers with AMD chips.

So what did AMD do? They cried like little sissies and accused Intel of being a monopoly. The litigation war is on.

AMD also creates awesome 64 bit chips that r0x0rs the socks off everything else on the market. At least, that's what everyone on Slashdot says. 64 bit chips have revolutionized modern computing and now to see a modern program, let alone an entire operating system, running with x86 instructions is unheard of.

Contents

AMD compared to Intel

An unfunny photoshoop attempt
An unfunny photoshoop attempt

It is well known among the hackish elite that Intel is an evil company that makes terrible chips. Indeed, it does not take computer literacy to see this; the brand name of Intel's chips is Pentagram. Intel even rates its chips on clock speed, a measure of how many goat heads it can generate each cycle.

Luckily, AMD has come to the rescure with a far less evil chip, complete with a new PR (porn regeneration) rating system which measures the number of nude Catherine Bell pics it can draw on the screen per second. The decreased evil quotient makes it a good choice for applications such as missile defense shields and SkyNet.

AMD Processors performance compared to Intel chips

A little known fact about Intel's corporate strategy is that each new generation of microprocessor is merely the previous generation with flame decals glued to it in order to create subtle performance gains. The fact is that Intel hasn't created a new architecture since the 586. AMD's usage of Engineers to create new architectures is creating a large advantage. AMDs chips overheat more than others--that means they're better--and one day AMD hopes not to need decals to show flames.

The Future

AMD plans to introduce their Socket AM3, Socket F, and Socket S1 CPU interfaces, which allow processors to be created that are not made of millions of transistors, but pure awesomeness frozen in Liquid Nitrogen (Creating a new element called Kickassium), cut into small cubes and Superglued onto a Pin Grid Array package, resulting in speeds that rival that of the world's largest, most powerful supercomputers.

AMD versus Core2Duo

Intel released a range of Core2Duo chips which are faster, use more power, and cost more than the AMD equivalents. In other words, AMD is better at sucking the ecological dick and the schlong of the almighty Benjamin - they suck just enough to offer more return for the green than Intel. Many years of fanboy angst will ensue until AMD/Intel gets the upper hand. Until then, AMD/Intel has temporarily ceased it's duo-centennial suckfest. Lest the shitty comparisons of the same motherboards with differing chipsets begin!

AMD/Intel response: TAKE THAT FANBOIS!!!111!!

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