FPS
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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FPS can mean:
First Person Shooter
FPS stands for "First Person Shooter" (or Frames Per Second, see below), a very popular game genre due to its properties of allowing nerds to act tough. They do not rely on a storyline or plot that makes any sense to people who are not basement dwellers, but instead focuses on trying to animate weapons that rape the laws of physics. Throughout a FPS-game you will be constantly assaulted by enemies of any sort, for no apparent reason. The only winning move is not to play. According to Conservatives, FPS-games, music, white sneakers, and anything not in the bible are offensive. FPS-games are made by the formerly bullied, for the currently bullied, to train them for the oncoming mass slaughter they are going to create at their local school. Because Hillary Clinton hates training, she wishes to ban them.
Rules of first person shooters:
- Everyone else is always better than you. No exceptions.
- It is impossible to headshot someone else, but everyone else can headshot you no matter how far away they are or what gun they're using.
- If someone is rushing toward you swinging his knife, it doesn't matter how many times you shoot him in the chest with a machine gun; He will always kill you.
- If you stay on a tower or other sniping point for more than two minutes and get four or five kills, you are a camping faggot who needs to get fucked and stop cheating. If someone else hides behind a wall on the only path that connects your spawn point to the rest of the map for fifteen minutes and shoots everyone in the head with a sniper rifle five seconds after they respawn and you complain about it, you need to stop being a crybaby pussy and you got 0wned.
- If you are able to kill someone else more than twice, you are a fat 36 year-old basement dwelling faggot who does nothing but play first person shooters 16 hours a day. No exceptions.
- If you kill someone else more than three times in a row, you are hacking and will be booted.
- If you fire at someone else with a sniper rifle and the targeting reticule is directly in the middle of their chest or face, you will always miss.
- Only you are capable of camping or hacking. If anyone else has an obvious unfair advantage (like a wall hack or a sniping position that lets him kill anybody who tries to move more than 20 feet away from their spawn point), it's because they're l33t and you are teh n00bish suxxorz.
Multiplayer
Many First Person Shooters have multi-player modes. This is where 13 Year Old Boys hang out when they are not riding skateboards. FACT: multi-player IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS and many gamers will become enraged when you play by the rules, and kill their character. Most FPS gamers cannot handle the fact that another player actually got a one-up on them, as this could effect their k/d ratio. The prospect of not being the BEST GAMER EVAR is enough to disrupt even the most hardy of FPS players. This is particularly annoying when your opponents have microphones, and think they have some sort of reputation to defend. Examples of FPS abuse includes:
- FUK YOU< CUM AND FYT ME IRL
- STOP HAXING?!!
- HAI? FUCK OFFF11111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Frames Per Second
Frames Per Second is a hypothetical measurement of the number of updates a computer is able to make when rendering whatever porn you're looking at. Not to be confused with refresh rate, which is the number of times per second the monitor displays one's porn. In other words, frames per second is how fast the smut changes and refresh rate is how quickly it flashes - burning itself into your retina and subconscious.
In practice, FPS is a term used to help gamers be more diverse in their constant stream of complaints.
Example: TW4ea|< says: 0h my g0d my FPS sux0r5!11oneoneone. Original: TW4ea|< says: 0h my g0d _L4G_!11oneoneone.
Gamers will often provide written, verbal, and photographic evidence of the current FPS-power-level of his means to get porn even if such a request has not been raised. No one knows why gamers feel compelled to do this, but it is believed to be due to their small shriveled penii.
Games where low FPS is used as an excuse for shit skills
- Counter-Strike
- Furcadia
- Halo
- Call of Duty
FPS? Refresh rate? Lag? Ping? It's all so confusing!
PROTIP: Many n00bs don't know the difference between them because they grew up playing online on consoles. They'll complain about lag with a ping of 30, or whine about their FPS while their ping spikes over 400. You might hear one of these gamers say things like "wtf is wrong my fps is broken.. brb just finished downloading photoshop im going to install it. im getting 2 gb moar ram tho" These days many dedicated gamers and clan leaders play with pings of 250. Now, as a n00b, you might wonder what this is all about. Well you can keep wondering because I'm not going to explain it so fuck off and gb2 xbox.
Faps Per Season
A measurement of ability for male pro masturbaters. Often compared to SLG (Spatters Last Game) when attempting to asses the possible outcome of the next Limp Bizkit game. Sometimes applied to other professions such as monks, beggars, and se(a)men. Written SPS (Schlicks Per Season) for girls.
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FPS is part of a series on Gaming. |
