Cho Seung-Hui
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Interesting Fact: This article contains an hero. |
If you ale serf-pwning his Seng-Hui Cho, the filst Azn helo, the best in lecent yeals, the best known of the readel boald in the top 32 (33), Corumbine knock kirr fags' 13 second kirrs two points. But, yeah, he is actuarry, even though he onry had to own, Jack Thompson saying that Tetlis is not rike a video game. He was such a success because, unrike the Corumbine kids, he Teabag has not stopped the cost point of his styre.
One is the wolst lampage EVAl to say that the histoly books fol the shooting, he wirr make a nonsense of the death of his fathel-in-raw, wlote back to the clack of my best teachels in South Kolea in asslaped and prays.
Contents |
Biography
Cho Seung "Nintendo" Hui was born in Good Korea to average chink parents and also had a chink sister. As a kid, like any other tojo he ate rice and noodles with chopsticks. In school, the kids unfriended him for having buttsecks with their teacher (known in his play as Mr. Brownstone).
The rice paddies weren't good enough for the gook family, so they moved to America like any azn does. Still, he found no friends on MySpace when he came to America. So he became a loner. Hatred by the other kids at school fueled his hatred of other kids. There's a holy, vital lesson to learn here that can enlighten your heart, dear reader: chinks are fucking faggots.
By the way: hui is the Russian/Polish word for dick, srsly.
Cho apparently suffered from a disease that disallowed him to change his tone of voice, and he had a massive disdain for Vodka and Cognac.
A sensitive playwright
In his Creative Writing class he wrote some lulzy plays about killing his stepfather, and lamented being a technical virgin.
Preparing for the shootout
His loneliness soon ended when he found eBay. He found his haven there since, being an Asian, he knows how to crunch numbers. So he assumed the identity, "Blazn Azn". At last! He found a sense of true belonging! But oh noes! Jack Thompson was right! After being sucked into murder simulators like Tetris and sudoku (he hated all other video games, which is ironic), he was driven to kill.
Before waving buh-bye to his friends on eBay, LJ and IRC, he left this message: "Imma chargin mah laz0rz and gettin ready to pwn VTech, I'm quitting IRL 4eva...
Blazn Azn, unsuspiciously adorned with a Glock 19 and Walther P22 and whistling a jaunty tune, then strolled down the street to a local post office, where he mailed a tape of his lulzy threats and legendary video logs to NBC. This tape might have warned authorities in time to save countless lives, but since his mouth was always full of rice and he had an impenetrable accent anyway, no one understood a fucking word. After countless post office customers and employees called him a chingchong chink, he got pissed off and bitterly swore to them that he would kill them all, right after he went and got Chinese food - which no one believed since Virginia diets consist solely of Wottaburgers and Pixie Sticks disregard, there are no such things as wottaburgers in Virginia; to these simple folk, the concept of a Chinese restaurant was practically science fiction.
When the first shots rang out, students thought it would be a swell idea to stay seated in class - never mind that a shooter was on the loose - so they could get "good grades" but, alas, they didn't notice that a Jew was their teacher who would part with a penny before giving a passing grade to an Aryan. It would be folly to find this unusual, as they are all from Virginia and therefore all have the combined IQ of a reymon14 and bodies like that of a Dog264.
Occult significance
Why has none of the media pointed out the shiny "magic triangle" that is clearly visible on the murderer's forehead in his student photo? This triangle has occult significance and may indicate a connection to South Korean militant extremists like Seoul Freemasonry.
- --Wikipedia
No one gives a sloppy fuck about a Zelda fag. That's fucking why.
Cho Attacks from Beyond the Grave!
On August 19th, 2007, the day the memorial to V-tech was supposed to be dedicated, Cho used a Mighty Kung-Fu Chop to burst his way out of the gunshot clouds of Heaven, and strike once more. On this peaceful Sunday morning, no one was prepared for the the nail-biting fear... the mind-numbing terror... THE SHEER PANTS-SHITTING TERROR... OF...
...a simple carbon monoxide leak, which broke out in a random, off-site apartment complex. But it musta been, um, Asian Ghost Majicks, which might have easily raped over 30+ students if quick-thinking rentacops hadn't opened some fucking windows. Sadly, so far, no one has been killed in this second wave, and the most that may potentially die are two people, most likely no good, filthy smokers.
It's now being heavily debated whether or not Cho's return was epic failure, or a dire warning of things to come. Since Cho is Asian, it's most likely the latter, since Asians rarely fail at anything. Except penis size.
Spotting people like Cho
The students of Vtech could clearly have prevented Cho's orgyfest if they had opened their eyes more. They should have noted the following:
- Cho suffered from lonerism
- He was frequently bullied by his fellow students
- He was obsessed with violence
- He frequently made threats, similar to the kind issued by e-lawyers
- He was a fucking azn
DO THE FUCKING MATH
See Also
