Metal Slug
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Contents |
Metal Slug, The Bullet
A wonderful invention best known for making war more efficient and enabling people around the world to become an hero conveniently and easily.
Metal Slug, The Arcade Game Series
Metal Slug is the only 90s arcade game series worth playing. It is one of the only series that allows you to pwn zombies, azns, sand niggers, aliens and wannabe nazis occasionally all in the same game. Teh game is composed of 85% EPIC WIN and 23.5% Dr. Pepper.
The Graphics
The games are also known for their amazing graphics, thanks to every single action having over 9,000 frames of animation, which of course makes it awesome. You see everybody running in a super-smooth running cycle? Awesome, isn't it? You see that hippie in his skivvies unfolding that sheet to give some crap to you? Man, that was the best unfolding I've ever seen. Hey dawg, check out that guy crouching. Not even I could crouch that realistically. Ah man, that is some tight idle stance! Dude, you know how Sonic the Hedgehog has that thing where he gets all uppity at you for being lazy? That is GARBAGE compared to this.
The Story
Basically you consistently go right, cutting, shooting, and blowing up anything that moves. The enemy forces are led by some butthurt wannabe Hitler who looks too much like Saddam to get away with it. He eventually gets raped in the ass by retarded aliens and rescued just before getting tentacle-raped by their HUEG overlord. Luckily you get to rescue guys who keep huge guns in their underwear and happily give it to you in return for saving them from being almost raped.
The Weapons
- Knife - Lets you shank people. Warning: Causes huge fountains of blood.
- The Cho Seung-Hui Special - Great because it never runs out of ammo.
- Heavy Machine Gun - Shoots so much lead the enemies die from lead poisoning.
- Firebomb - The fury in a bottle.
- Shotgun - Good for removing pesky squads of soldiers
- Rocket Launcher - Not some pussy rocket launcher. These rockets are HUEG.
- Metal Slug - A slow-ass tank that allows you to shoot things with two weapons at once.
- Grenades - Make things go boom.
- GrenAIDS - Gives those sand niggers AIDS.
- Iron Lizard - Shoots toy cars with drills on the front.
- Ball Launcher - Named after its one function.
- Flamethrower - KILL IT WITH FIRE!
- Lazer - Pre-charged, guaranteed to inflict massive damage
- Supersonic Z Sword - An azn ripoff sword.
- Hadouken - A weeaboo POW that follows you and fires lazers.
The Characters
- Marco - Badass Americunt with a streak of nerd.
- Tarma - Wears an eye patch and was bad enough to rescue the President.
- Fio - Sent to war because her rich parents sent her to the military.
- Eri - BAWWWWWed over her job as an assassin so she transferred to a position where she brutally killed thousands of Nazis.
- Trevor - Azn who decided to zerg rush his way through the battlefield.
- General Morden - A clone of Hitler and Saddam Hussein who decided he should rule the world. Has huge armies of guys who die faster than redshirts and wears pink underwear.
- Mars People - Tentacle monsters who raped the previous bad guy and tried to rape everyone else.
The Gameplay
Like Contra with less frustration and more lulz.
See Also
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Metal Slug is part of a series on Gaming. |
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