Crap
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Crap or "brown gold" can either be used literally when talking about fæces or figuratively to describe something as being of fucktard quality. Some argue that crap is sexually arousing, but they are mistaken. Crap also passes for academic inquiry on Encyclopædia Dramatica.
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[edit] Ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang
The word crap is the retarded sibling of shit which is much more offensive and entertaining. If wanting to pwn someone or incite funny internet drama, thus increasing the lulz, don’t use this word, you’ll just make a dickhead of yourself.
Crap also plays an important part in teh English language. It can be used for damn near anything. Examples include, but are not limited to, teh following.
- Holy crap!
- Hey, you stepped in some crap.
- I ain't puttin' up with your crap.
- Bullcrap! (Used in objection.)
[edit] Uses
Literal crap can be located in a toilet, up your nose or on your mother's chest. It is made when your body rejects the disgusting junk you ate which probably includes cum as you are a filthy whore. It usually comes in solid form but is known to liquefy if your stomach is a fag. It smells terrible so if you plan to put it in someone’s food you’ll need to disguise this.
The toilet is generally regarded as the best place to crap but other options include on a lawn, on a car, in someone's mouth, or Gaiaonline. These options are even more fun if you don’t have permission to do them but will need planning to avoid inevitable prison where you will be gang raped by Bubba, making Goatse look like a virgin.
It has been common knowledge since last Thursday that if you shove food up your ass you will crap out your mouth. This is in fact a healthier crapping option and is recommended based on extensive research done on an episode of South Park.
[edit] Types of Crap
Excerpt from My Studies on Crap.
“Hard Crap”
This is usually the first crap that comes out of your rectum. It is hard, yet supple, and has a nice texture and consistency. Unless you're constipated, this crap feels lovely when it slowly leaves your bowels. Usually, the color is a nice dark brown. And, if you haven't had enough fiber in the day, there should be some chunks of last night's tuna or cabbage floating around" -- Coloring with Nelson
[edit] Floaters
[edit] HOLY SHIT! MOAR POOP!
Stolen from a website that refers to shit as "poop":
- GHOST Poop: The kind where you feel the Poop come out, but there is no Poop in the toilet.
- CLEAN Poop: The kind where you Poop it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the paper.
- WET Poop: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels un-wiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain.
- SECOND WAVE Poop: This happens when you're done Pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poop some more.
- POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD-Poop: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
- LINCOLN LOG Poop: The kind of Poop that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
- GASSY Poop: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot giggles.
- DRINKER Poop: The kind of Poop you have the morning after a night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
- CORN Poop: (Self-explanatory)
- GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-Poop-Poop: The kind where you want to Poop, but all you do is set on the toilet and fart a few times.
- SPINAL TAP Poop: This is when it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
- WET CHEEKS Poop: (The Power Dump). The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
- LIQUID Poop: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
- MEXICAN Poop:It smells so badly that your nose burns.
- UPPER-CLASS Poop: The kind of Poop that has no odor.
- THE SURPRISE Poop: You are not at the toilet because you think you are about to fart but...oops...a
- DANGLING Poop: This Poop refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Pooping it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
[edit] The Many Colors of Crap
Crap is usually a dark shade of brown. However, not unliek the Gay hanky code, the same shit can come in many different colors:
Red: Too much surprise buttsecks.
Black: A lot of white girls have something black in their arseholes. This is not unusual.
Blue-green: WTF? You've eaten food with too much food coloring, such as Fruit Gushers. Go ahead. Eat 3 bags and see what happens. Hint? Lulz.
Yellow: You have a disease. You're going shit yourself to death.
White: That's not shit faggot.
[edit] Scat
The Scat fetish involves anything involving crap remotely sex related.
Coprophilia - Eating crap. The main reason people do this is because they have autism, or are in some way retarded. But this goes for the vast majority of people on the interbutts.
Human Toilet - As part of BDSM play. Basically you shit on them. They claim not to enjoy it. Types of shitplay include:
- Cleveland Steamer - the person craps on another person's chest. So called because of the many shit-colored people that inhabit Cleveland.
- Dirty Sanchez - smearing crap underneath a person's nose to make it look liek a mustache.
- Chili Dog - shit on her chest, then fuck her shitty tits.
- Hot Carl - fuck someone's ass, then they suck the chunks off your dick.
Go on. Click. You're a sick fuck and you want it. Wife walks free after feeding husband feces-laced meal.
[edit] Risks
It is possible to catch AIDS from shitplay if teh cock is yanked out of the asshole and inserted into the mouth without washing. This explains why so many fags have AIDS.
[edit] See Also
- Funnelgirl
- Tubgirl
- 2girls1cup
- Swap.avi
- Eproctophilia
- Germany -Shit is an important part of their nutritional values.
- Cakefarts
Note: Both Tubgirl and Funnelgirl are Japanese (Well...although Tubgirl is clearly Eastern, it's hard to tell with all that shit on her face). This alone should tell you how fucking sick these things are.
[edit] Crap as a Drug
Discovered in Africa there is a new drug on the streets that is made from fermented sewage called Jenkem. Jenkem is huffed giving you an intense high and hallucinations. Used by poor people and totse members.
[edit] Variations of Crap
[edit] Other Noteworthy Crap
- Religious Crap
- Homophobic Crap
[edit] Gallery of Crap
 |
 I iz Scatbear, hug me! |
 What passes for poop in diaper. |
 If you click to get the bigger picture, you can almost smell the sweet aroma. |
 Sexy.. I'd scoop that up with a spoon and chow down like it was...grandma. |
 Even 16 year old girls like having shit smeared on their faces, too. |
 A blonde has found a brown dildo in her toilet!...Nevermind...it's just a piece of shit. |
|
 It's a tail! |
 Oooo!!! You filthy whore! :D |
 Why hello there! |
 Babies love it! |
 An early Crap prototype. |
 A cake made out of shit to give to someone you don't like. |
 Crap as a fashion statement. |
 I don't know what this is. |
 Fantasy realized. |
 The American Dream. |
 |
 Ooooooo! The poop is so big! Ugh! Ugh! |
 HOLEE SHITTING FUCK!! |
 At least she can't miss. |
 Jesus was a corophile. |
[edit] See Also
- Shit Of course
- Cakefarts
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- When is it crap?
- Dianne Thorley
- Jenkem
- Shay
- 2girls1cup
- '23ds"/2"'aa - Crap page created by sheneequa that no one can delete and is invincible
- '23ds"//2"'aa - Crap page created by sheneequa that no one can delete and is invincible. ×2
- Eproctophilia
- Mung (no, not the blue guy from Chowder)
- Domo-kun
- China -Where poorly made crap is made.
- Germany -Where crap is eaten as food.
[edit] External Links
- Fight upperdecking!
- Crap Information
- Includes a handy guide on how to take a dump at work
- i like rate my poo eh is a pretty cool guy he can rate poo and he doesnt afraid of anything
