Digimon

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The invention of digimon
The invention of digimon
Look, they're touching! IT MUST BE LOVE!!
Look, they're touching! IT MUST BE LOVE!!

Digimon was created by AZN pirates flooding the oriental toy market with an affordable Tamagotchi rip-off (which is illegal because it doesn't have enough Chinese lead in it). After going on a bender they used their monies to fund Digimon themed mangas, animes, videogames, toys, cards and other assorted crap that lost them all their money. After Digimon Tamers they went bankrupt and shut up shop for good. The Digimon anime series is continued to this day though by the Digimon Fandom (or "DigiFans"). "Digifans" compulsively add the prefix "digi" or the suffix "mon" to every noun and verb in their minuscule vocabulary. In France, everyone has his own digimon.

Contents

The Anime

Series 1: Digimon Adventure

Angstmon is totally afraid of his own Angst.
Angstmon is totally afraid of his own Angst.
Come on, there's nothing wrong in this picture!
Come on, there's nothing wrong in this picture!

Digimon Adventure stars over 9000 main characters, each more emo than the last. The main premise of the series is monsters fucking each other while the starring human of that episode cries about how their parents almost raped them. Each episode is about a main characters pointless backstory until they run out of main characters, then they split up the characters or rejoin them or defeat one of the super evil badguys (over 9,000 of them too) and then back to revolving through each character crying about masturbating to his little sister.

This series was a favorite for pedos who fell in love with Kari. Also a favorite among deviants are the pink cowboy girl and the delusion that two of the main characters have a totally gay thing for each other. I myself have never watched the show, nor do I know anything about it (as you can see by my statement calling Matt and Tai the two main characters), which gives me plenty of license to write an article on it. Also, I suck cocks.

Series 2: Digimon Adventure 02

02 (pronounced "zero two" by jackoffs) is about another group of kids doing the exact same shit as the kids in Adventure except they get to go home from the digital world whenever they want. This series also retains the characters from the previous series who are now older. The older characters no longer exhibit preteen angst but instead teen angst. The pink cowboy girl inexplicably turned into a pink Euro-raver, then into a 70's cop show extra. All the pedo fans stopped watching Digimon after Kari became an old hag in this series, they were attempted to be replaced by gay-pedos but they didn't find Cody attractive.

Series 3: Digimon Tamers

The creation of a furry icon
The creation of a furry icon
The first (and only clean) image of a 300 page furry hentai.
The first (and only clean) image of a 300 page furry hentai.
Impmon isn't afraid of anything, especially niggers
Impmon isn't afraid of anything, especially niggers

The best series of Digimon and subsequently the one when everyone stopped watching because change and plotlines and character depth is SCARY. In this series, everyone's seriously fucked up. Not that baaaaaaaaw emo furry shit. Proper fucked up.

The story revolves around three kids who get Digimon to prevent them from going on murderous rampages. They proceed to go on murderous rampages. Half way through the series, the main character list explodes to like 20 or something as the writers scramble to gain back an audience dwindling down to only furries. The writers find that killing off characters with tearful goodbyes raises ratings, so they do it more often. Eventually, they kill off Leomon, super number-one gay furry icon. The furry audience immediately leaves in protest, and the show loses all audience.

At this point, the writers decide to just do whatever the fuck they want for the rest of the 30 episodes. So, they put in things like mental and emotional abuse from a puppet, fratricide, weird sexual metaphors, and child abuse. Lots and lots of child abuse. One of the girl characters literally spends the second half of the series being fucked over by her puppet. And did we mention the fifty foot purple phallus covered with little green mouths that likes to say "You will be deleted" in the voice of a little girl?

The story by Chiaki J. Konaka, also writer of Serial Experiments: Lain, is superb... So superb, that the only remnant of this series is Renamon being a furry icon.

Series 4: Disneymon Frontier

In this series the concept that made the previous three seasons watchable was done away with. Instead, a gaggle of stereotype characters are stuffed into living trains and have to save the digital world. The gimmick of this series being that the humans don't have digimon sidekicks, they simply turn into their fursona and do the fighting themselves. Made by furries for furries. Contrary to that fact, Frontier actually has the least amount of furry porn based around it, as painful, eye-bleedingly remorseless research has shown.

Series 5: Gidinom Savers

Essentially Digimon Tamers with all depth stripped away. The japanophiles are lapping it up. The plot involves youngsters working for the Digimon version of the Men in Black, complete with memory-erasing sticks. The average 13-year-old boy is, of course, the best candidate for such an important government security position. The humans and their Digimon partners team up to fight progressively harder foes, until they defeat God itself, just for the lulz. There are no plans to release the show in English... It has been announced this show is coming to Jetix. The following screenshots should explain why the show has fangirls. This series also has an intelligent, albeit bitchy, version of Misamisa from Death Note, one that is actually useful, an internet survey states that 99.99% of viewers believe that Thomas should have put it in her, the other 0.01% wanted Gaomon to stick it in her.

Digimon: The Movie

Just like any anime that is popular in America, Digimon also got itself a movie. However, unlike the rest of the series, this is actually one of the best anime movies ever made. This is anime, though, so the bar of quality is set extremely low. The animation, voicing, scripting, humor, action, and conclusion is top-notch... at least, for the first two parts of the movie. After that, it just starts to suck penis and contract AIDS. Fox Kids decided two parts was just too short, three parts was just too long - but adding a horrifically mangled, chopped up and totally nonsensical 40 minutes at the end was awwwwwwright.

However, the real reason anyone reading this should watch it immediately is because the movie involves nuclear missiles, computer hacking, nerdrage, and, finally, saving the Internet. Yes, /b/tards, your dreams have come true. We have finally found a good movie where the main plot involves our heroes SAVING THE FUCKING INTERNET.

The heroes also happen to save the internet, not with the power of love, or courage, or friendship, or any of that faggy animu bullshit, but with something that many of you probably have lying around the house: FUCKLOADS OF EMAIL. No, srsly.

Also, the main villain is a complete asshole who at first appears to be one dude but turns out to be an entire legion of dudes. This shit is uncanny.

Also, no, I don't suck cocks. This movie is actually worth watching. Unbelievable, amirite?

Characters

Note: A major source of butthurt for digifags is to refer to a character by their English names. By doing that, fangirls can't come up with clever Japanese portmanteaus for character pairings in slashfics. For the sake of neutrality, we here at Encyclopedia Dramatica will use the English names instead.

  • Tai: 13 year old boy with asspies who looks like a kingdom hearts reject.
  • Sora: Ginger bitch who is all emo because her mom's boyfriends keep raping her.
  • Matt: Emofag later turned skafag.
  • Izzy: Underage gay porn star... or so millions of fangirls would have you believe.
  • Mimi: Lesbian lover of Sora who all the men rape when she's sleeping.
  • Joe: Nerdy faggot who faps to harem animes.
  • T.K.: Matt's younger brother AND son!
  • Kari: Mary sue who cuts herself when their digimon are forced to fight the evil villain. She couldn't be on the series earlier because she got aids and got pregnant and had a miscarriage because she was so ill. She gave TK a blowjob after episode 13.
  • Davis: Same thing as Tai, except he wants to fuck Kari! No... wait, that's still the same.
  • Yolei: Has the hots for Davis, even going so far as to kidnap him and lick his asshole.
  • Cody: lol his dad was killed in a gang related shootout.
  • Jun: Davis's sister who wants to suck on Matt's cock and eat TK's for breakfast.
  • Ken: Male mary sue who contracted AIDS after a threesome with Davis and Kari.
  • Takato: Obsesses over the digmon annie may, trading cards, video gaymes and action figures - lol fourth wall! Real digimon believers regard him as their savior because he finally got his own digimon! Too bad those faggots fail to realize he, too, was a cartoon character.
  • Rika: Her mom doesn't pay attention to her so she murders boys for being chauvinists(moar liek jewvinist, amirite?) and then dines on their severed penises. She pimps her digimon out to furrychan for drug money.
  • Henry: Goes around bombing Japanese embassies for invading his country. When he asked the Japanese why they did it, they responded "for the lulz."
  • Takuya: The creators were running out of ideas so they thought "what would Tai and Matt's homosexual offspring look like?" Thus, Takuya was born.
  • Koji: A wigger who wants to become Japan's next Gackt.
  • Zoe: Some feminist chick whose existence is never elaborated on.
  • JP: Fat fucker who wants to rape Zoe.
  • Tommy: More shota material!
  • Koichi: Koji's lover, who is more emo than Koji, but less gay than him
  • Thomas: Rapes Marcus on a regular basis, and goes out on dates with Marcus's little sister. YA RLY
  • Marcus: The son of God(LOL Spoiler) who goes around punching and enslaving Digimon because they're furries. Only one smart enough to know goggles make you look retarded, although he covers his hands in orange glitter.
  • Yoshi: An Italian dinosaur, or something.
  • Keenan: Raised by furries and hates himself.
  • Sarah: Stupid bitch who mothered Marcus that isn't smart enough to realize 14 year old boys should not be going against the will of God.
  • Kristy: Simply there so lolis can find this season watchable.

The Mangas

Tai preparing to tame the vagina.
Tai preparing to tame the vagina.

Digimon has 4 manga series...

  • V-Tamer: about taming vageene
  • Digimon Next: about a Digimon Soda factory
  • Digimon Chronicle: a continuation of Digimon Next where the main character starts a Media Outlet for mass propagandaz
  • D-Cyber: about furry cybering

You wont be able to read any of these though as a search for any will undoubtedly lead you to gay or furry or gay-furry slash fiction.

The Games

There are 16 Digimon video games spanning every popular genre; from rpg to racing to fighting to adventure to H. All of them suck though. All of them. Except for digimon world 3, which is thematically similar to the movie. Being the only good digimon game, it is of course nearly impossible to find at a reasonabe price. It is also a lot like dot HACK, which is odd, because it came out five years before that cyberpunk crapfest.

Most of the RPG games have you traveling around a landscape very unlike Pokemon with your Digimon life partner and playing cards with people. I think it was poker, and you'd get your thumbs broken if you didn't pay up after losing a game.

Digimon vs Pokemon

Source of much drama between furry sub-groups. Pokefags say "Digimon is just a ripoff of Pokemon", Digifags say "NUH UHH, HOLY SHIT DIGIMON WAS RELEASED IN 1991 GUYZ! Digimon was created first!", which may or may not be true. The truth of the matter is Pokemon is originally a ripoff of Monster Rancher and Digimon is originally a ripoff of Tamagotchi and both have anime series for the sole reason that all the Japanese do all day is make animes, games and porn of everything in existence. Not that anyone with a life really gives a shit. Though we all know that Yu-Gi-Oh is the real serious business.

DIGIMANS ARE REAL!!111!

Definitive proof that Digimon are real
Definitive proof that Digimon are real
An illustrated guide to opening a portal to the Digital World through masturbation.
An illustrated guide to opening a portal to the Digital World through masturbation.
The Real Digimon Believers are loosening the fabric of reality.
The Real Digimon Believers are loosening the fabric of reality.

Some people are such big fans of Digimon, and so very, very, lonely, that they pretend that they have their own imaginary Digimon companion, and are Digimon Tamers (moar like lusers, amirite)?. You might not think it is so unusual for someone to have an imaginary friend they can pretend will breathe fire on all the bullies at school, as everyone has done this in the past. However, the group, Real Digimon Believers, takes it one step further. Instead of just buying a dog, they have deluded themselves into thinking that they have real Digimon pets, and, like a freaky cult, will try to convince all nonbelievers to share their delusions.

The Real Digimon Believers are seriously trying to find a connection to the Digital World where they will reunite with their long-lost Digimon companions. These plans, dubbed Project Digiclipse, the only completely logical and scientific way to reach the Digital World, involve toy Digivices, their parents' computers, plastic bags, and waiting for a passing comet.

What. The. Fuck.

Qu'est que c'est "Project Digiclipse"?

According to the Project Digiclipse website, "Project digiclipse is the combination of hope, belief, and the theories of members of all digimon [sic] believers. The point is, we believe that digimon [imaginary digital monsters featured in the program] exist, and we are determined to find a way to bring them to us. The way we attempt to do this, is simple, yet hopefully effective. We gather all the belivers [sic] that we can find, and focus on our goal at the exact same moment all around the world, hold our digivices to the sky, and the laws of mind over matter [sic] tell us that we can achieve our goal; a digital portal opening somewhere nearby."

That's right. These people believe that the universe and inhabitants from the TV cartoon series Digimon are physically real, and that a "portal" can be opened to this universe if a group of "believers" all hold up their toy Digivices [licensed products based upon the show] at the same time and wish really hard. As the website explains, "They [the Digivices] may be toys, but many of them are a symbolic or even spiritual connection to our partners, and act as a bridge between our world and the digital world by sheer love and belief. That's what this entire project was based on, the power of the mind, and our connections, if not just our belief. It's been proved throughout history that if you believe in something, it can happen... As long as you believe, something is bound to happen!" Yes, and for the Digiclipsian, that "something" could well be the arrival of burly mental health nurses, called upon by their terrified parents to drag them off for a two-month vacation at Camp Haldol.

However, lest we write of the believers in the Digiclipse as the modern-day version of the Millerites, the author of the project webpage sounds a note of realism amid the hope for a digital Rapture: "We can't tell you whether or not it will work," the website admits, "as it has not been attempted by anyone before. This is sort of a hopeful experiment, but even if a portal doesn't open, it will bring us all closer and hopefully weaken the barrier between the worlds." Sounds like a long shot. Besides, as Scotty of TV's Star Trek once said, "Any decent brand of Scotch'll do that, Sir."

Le potential pour les «lulz»

The website has a forum for believers, with typical topics such as "what will you do if when do you wake up see your partner???" and "Matter...and...Data? ...Just how can I become Data?" The lulz potential is high [approximately 720 milliJameth/kb as measured by lulzometer (1 Jameth = 1,000 mJ = guaranteed corruption of lol)]. Any of the standard drama-generating techniques could be used to generate epic amounts of butthurt among the spastic retards that populate the message boards. Rule 34-based techniques should be especially effective, as most of the members seem to be at the (physical or mental) age where sex is the overt or covert motivator behind every obsession. It's a target-rich environment; try a shotgun approach and see what happens.

PROOF

The Real Digimon Believers can unequivocally prove that Digimon are indeed real through the use of poor photo manipulation and MS Paint.


 
 
We do lots of research sometimes, and usually come across things. Also, we have a few learning programmers in the group who seem to know a lot about Digimon and data and things. Sometimes we hear noises and see things, but we usually only associate them with Digimon when it has our toy Digivices involved. It maybe sound immature, but there's no saying that data can't travel through the air to the device(right?), or that invisible creatures aren't controlling it.
 

 

RulerHD - Leader of the Real Digimon Believers


 
 
Of course, it can be disputed, but the fact of the matter is, the existence of Digimon is plausable, and very much probable. Though it hasn't been proved, there are loyal fan bases out there that have evolved their belief into something more; a seperate community of "believers". Most will ban anyone who joins and lurks, or just to simply troll. There have been a lot of attempts made by the fakers to mislead the groups, though it is always obvious who is lying, and who is not. The leaders of such groups are skilled enough to tell a true believer from a troublemaker, so to save you time it isn't recommended for a "non-believer" to join.

These groups have proved that not only is Digimon an innocent childrens show, but it is the base of a thriving community, and has made many people friendsaround the world. Most aare children, and therefore do not have any kind of furry activity, or hentai imgages and it is definate that it will stay that way in the future.
 


 

RulerHD sockpuppet, a self-proclaimed member of THe RDB Revenge Squad.

 
 
i'm doing research. there's a 10th crest. the crest of darkness. its dangerous, but it can be purified. i'm still doing reasearch on the 10 crests though.
 

 

— josh, scientist for Project Digiclipse

 
 
Hmm.... my mom would probibly send me to a therepist... again... if I tried to tell her about Elecmon...
 

 

— Tashaka, Senior Member Priestess

 
 
ok im from the MSN Group RDB: Real Digimon Belivers and im trying to gather all the sites that belive into one. i have teamspeak that can be used to help communitcate, which is why i contacted you. i want you to help me contact the main leader/creators of each site and get them into team speak or into a place where we can settle into making one super beliver site! please anwser this message an let me know.


 


 

— DCYBER01, trying to collect cult members

Despite being so technologically savvy, these Digi-scientists fail to grasp that vandalism is pointless on ED, and have repeatedly tried to edit away this part of this page.

Digifag site owned

The original Digiclipse fourms got owned during an raid by the g00ns and anonymous. Srsly guyz, Digimon is not real.

The Digifags made a new forums site,

but it can only be seen by registered users. They are butthurt from the previous attack and therefore require new members to create an account and then fill in a survey to prove their intentions are not malicious. Clearly, there is not a single troll on the internet cunning enough to getting past such solid defenses, so now their crazy little forum is completely safe.

PROTIP: You merely need to register to see (and screenshot) the forums. The survey is only required for those interested in posting.

The digifag admins are known to browse various chans and even ED - don't do what the fag below did and ruin perfectly good lulz by telling everyone too early.

Reraided LOLWUT?

On July 1st 2008, they were rehit by a troll calling himself DigiPwn. Slandering the site with racial slurs and incestuous threads, the discovery was made even if the threads are deleted, the titles stay up to be seen.

Posting that discovery here led to that problem being fixed less than four hours later. Thanks ED, or more accurately, thanks User:Animorphs18, you've done the digifags a great favor, even if it only delayed the inevitable.

Rereraided/Reloaded?

At about 3 AM, on the 10th of July, an old fashion troll who went under cover for at least 100 years, fucked up the beloved site for the lulz by clearing out the FTP and having it replaced by a well drawn comic. This brave troll did so with the help of her trusty cats, TweedleDee and TweedleDum.

The troll mentioned in her letter that the site would most likely be back up in a matter of hours - which it is now apparent it will be. Like any good lulz observer, archives have been made. Screen shots of the site before and after (including the site admin's butthurt message to the troll) can be seen here:

The comic, in which digifags learn a new word.

The page source, including notes from the trolls.

The note from TK. (Someone took the time to screen this shit? Wtf?)


Wait, what!?!?!?! As of 10:30p on the 10th, this image is on the site, along with the song Still Alive. Along with a message condemning certain failed trolls. Actually, shits down again. Disregard my disregarding that, shit's back up, and that damn music is playing again.

Also, there are no women on the internet, unless the bitches have started trolling from the kitchen. This means you, Aurelie (Yarelie?). But who really cares? Everyone knows Aurelie (Yarelie!) did this for lulz and for glory on teh internets since she feels insecure about the sand in her vagoo. (This is the truth. I know because I personally have it imported weekly from the beaches of Bermuda and shovel it in by the truckload. And by vagina, of course I am referencing my gaping asshole. ~Allie Yarly Aurelly Yarelly) Lulz abound!

The digifags report that while they are indeed butthurt over Au-Relly Ya-Relly's actions, they acknowledge that she did a good job being a troll. They also know how to use Encyclopedia Dramatica effectively and understand that free speech for all = lulz, as well as the capacity to laugh at oneself. Lulz lolz lulzzipop.

Shipping

Tai, after reading this section
Tai, after reading this section

Digimon, while a complete rip-off off Pokemon, has had its moments where it produces lulz. The most visible example is during the second season epilogue where many fans where dismayed that their ship did not win at the end. Scientist have proven that many fans where so upset that many became an hero after it was shown. Need proof? Why do you think the popularity diminished after that season? When interviewed, Hiroyuki Kakudou, the director for the first and second season, said, and I quote, "I did it for the lulz." When asked about the number of an hero's he said he "didn't care."

Taiora

The pairing between Tai and Sora. Perhaps the most lulzy of the ships due to how popular it was (and still is), many were butthurt when Sora chose Matt over Tai. After Matt and Sora ended up married at the end, the fans for this ship were in denial that they wrote letters demanding canon be changed.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, jocks, and 16-year-old girls.

Mimato

If Taiora is the lulziest of the lot, then Mimato is definitely its retarded cousin. This refers to the relationship between Matt and Mimi. While many of the other ships can be somewhat defended, this one was thought up after some 16-year-old girl thought they "looked so cute" even though they don't acknowledge each others existence. The funny part is that many of them actually believe that there was actual evidence, making them the most retarded of the bunch. They are the best target to troll against, as they can be trolled by anyone who has seen the show even if the volume was turned off. Troll at your own free will! Many were also butthurt at the end, and insist that Sora was a slut who stole Matt from Mimi. They are that retarded.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, retards, and 16-year-old girls.

Takari

Don't ever show Takari fans this picture, especially here or here.
Don't ever show Takari fans this picture, especially here or here.

Pairing between T.K. and Kari. Long story short, the most butthurt of the lot after their ship was not canon at the end. Out of all the shippers out there they are the most in denial, as well as producing the most an heros. Because their holy matrimony did not bloom at the end they say there was an interview that said their couple was canon, but when asked to produce said interview they change the subject. They also say they've seen the original and say shit like "Takeru says there that it has been 25 years and he married Hikari" regardless of what the truth is. It should also be noted that, since many have shipped this since the first season, all fans of this ship are fucking lolis and should be reported to the FBI.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, retards, christians, and 16-year-old girls.

Taito

Gay shit thought up by 16-year-old girls, with many claiming it was close to being canon. If somebody says they didn't see it, fans for this ship will start claiming homophobia. Ironically, many fans for this ship are girls and tend to hate all the other females because they might interfere with the butt sex.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, retards, liberals, and 16-year-old girls.

Kenyako

A romantic relationship between Ken and Yolei, and surprise, surprise, this one was actually canon.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, geeks, and 16-year-old girls.

Sorato

The pairing of Matt and Sora, canon to the show. Also known as... MATTRAEG due to the male viewers analog character, Tai, being cockblocked by Matt, an analog for every boy more popular and talented than the viewer. Basically...

Hey Faggots,

My name is Yamato "Matt" Ishida, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at a scaled-down version of the Digital World. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever had a Digimon that can kill a Dark Master in one-hit? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on Aerisdies.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was in an extremely popular rock band, and my Digimon can Digivolve to Mega. What can your Digimon do, other than "sit around all day in its own Digi-filth?" I'm also an astronaut who was the first person on Mars, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO proDigious). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

Daikari

Spelled Dakari by fucking retards, this is the relationship between Davis and Kari. Usually attacked by Takari fans, they have been known to turn a perfectly happy-go-lucky character into a wrist slashing, angst-filled pussy who listens to Linkin Park. Many people who ship this due so because they've been rejected more times than an art student in the real world.

Common fans for this ship include: emos and your mom.

Daiken

More gay shit, but this time involving Davis and Ken. Usually written by shotacon fan girls, many of these stories involve rape. Because of this, one can and should assume that girls writing this pairing are asking for it. Shippers for this couple hate Yolei and Kari; no exceptions. Since they condone rape, it's okay to rape them, not that anyone actually would.

Common fans for this ship include: everyone mentioned above. Yes, even christians.

Daikeru

Even more gay shit, surprisingly. Since this relationship involves T.K. and Davis, most of these stories will be a retelling of WW2, what with the the white guy dominating some japanese guy. Expect whitey to come out on top (lol).

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, liberals, lesbians and 16-year-old girls.

Michi

Relationship between Tai and Mimi. For those who've been dumped and are smart enough to realize they are not going to get any, this is the coupling of choice. Since this is written by rejects, expect only songfics by Linkin Park and My Chemical Romance.

Common fans for this ship include: emos, nerds, you, losers, and 16-year-old girls.

Rating

  • Action: 0; they are bloodless cartoony beasts
  • Lulz: 3; series 3 committed a form of suicide by killing off a furry icon.
  • Furry Gayness: 21,721; they are bloodless cartoony beasts.
  • Furry Straightness: ∞; Renamon(Along with Krystal) was responsible for creating this truly rare class of furry fandom.
  • Regular Gayness: 4; they managed to somehow keep some focus on the girls.

Gallery of Rule 34

Video

See also

External Links

Image:pikajewsprite.gif Digimon is part of a series on Anime.


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