Pitchfork

For context: The last time Axl Rose participated in a major print interview nine years ago, the iPod didn't exist. So his talk with Billboard is a pretty big deal, especially since Axl is known as a quote machine who takes shit from no one (see: "Get in the Ring"). The interview-- which you can read in full here-- does not disappoint. Now that his forever-delayed behemoth Chinese Democracy is underwhelming on almost every level imaginable, he's getting a few things off his chest. Axl goes off on his label, Slash and the haters.

A round-up of the best bits:

-- On a possible reunion with Slash: "I read a desperate fan's message about, what if one of us were to die and looking back I had the possibility of a reunion now, blah blah blah. And my thoughts are, 'Yeah, and while you're at the show your baby accidentally kicks a candle and burns your house down, killing himself and the rest of your family.' Give me a fucking break. What's clear is that one of the two of us will die before a reunion and however sad, ugly or unfortunate anyone views it, it is how it is." Slash: not on the Christmas card list. Also, Axl does not trust babies.

-- On a new tour: "No plans, but there's talk."

-- On his label Interscope's perception of GN'R: "We feel that, unfortunately, we've never been really anything all that much more other than a throw it at the wall, see if it sticks, no real ground work, something to take advantage of, last quarter, cook the books, write-off, fuck this headache, hoping to get lucky scam." Don't forget "disastrously cornrowed."

-- On Interscope in general: "In regard to the U.S., for the most part I don't look at it like we have a record company-- I look at it for the most part like we have friendly but otherwise cutthroat loan sharks [...] So in light of pirating and the mess the major labels are in, I have no sympathy for the record companies." Indie labels, this is your chance to sign Guns N' Roses.

-- On how and where he listened to Chinese Democracy demos over the years: "My studio, car stereos, a CD Walkman, computers and different speaker setups, clubs, iPods. Actually, our first leaks were from using a sound system in a strip club in the early hours when it was basically empty." The first time we've heard the phrase "CD Walkmen" in a non-"I Love the 90s" context in quite a while.

-- On a new video: "We're finalizing a video for 'Better' and writing a couple others now."

-- On the possibility of a Rock Band video game version of Chinese Democracy: "We're looking at a Feb. 28 release, according to [executives at MTV responsible for] Rock Band. [Rock Band has since changed the release date to spring.]" Screw that, how about a Rock Band: Appetite for Destruction, amirite?!

-- On the media reaction to Chinese Democracy: "Most of the nonsense has been from the same or the latest batch of negative idiots, so it was to be expected and really doesn't mean much. [I] did see some jump ship, and that's always funny. Watching some douche waving a flag and then being the first punk in the water's always great." Ha, he said "douche."