Pitchfork

As someone whose souvenir Bill Clinton 1992 Inauguration periscope is still collecting dust in his parents' basement, I know exactly what happens when you attend an inaugural parade: You stand outside in the freezing cold for hours and then maybe you get to see the incoming President's arm waving outside his car's window.

On January 20, 2009, Barack Obama will be sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. Since this will be the first inauguration in at least twelve years for a President that people actually like, next week the already maddening streets of our nation's capital are going to be absolutely jammed with people. And if you're going to brave that throng, you may as well party while you're doing it. Fortunately, a whole mess of musicians will be in town to help facilitate that partying. And now we'll get to see how cool Barack Obama really is by checking on which shows he comes to and then judging him based on his musical tastes! That's what we do around here, after all.

First off, there's a big opening shindig going down January 18 at the Lincoln Memorial, which will be free, open to the public, and broadcast on HBO, according to Billboard.com. The star-studded lineup features (deep breath) Bruce Springsteen, Bono, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Usher, Shakira, Stevie Wonder, Herbie Hancock, John Legend, and many, many more.

Next, the shows going down on January 19, Inauguration Eve:

-- The Beastie Boys will rock the barfily-named "Hey, America Feels Kinda Cool Again" Inaugural Gala at the venerable 9:30 Club, alongside (ew) Sheryl Crow and Citizen Cope.

-- Also on Monday night, Jay-Z will perform at the Warner Theatre. And since Jay and the Beasties will be in different places, there's not much chance of Jay and Mike D reprising that awkward meet-up from Fade to Black with Obama playing the Rick Rubin role.

-- As previously reported, the Chicago venue the Hideout and political organization Interchange will present the Big Shoulders Ball at the Black Cat with Ted Leo and Chicago indie-rock types like Andrew Bird, Tortoise, and the Waco Brothers.

-- Russell Simmons, T.I., Young Jeezy, and LL Cool J will form like Voltron to host the Hip-Hop Inaugural Ball at the Harman Center for the Arts.

And then, on the big night itself:

-- Elvis Costello, Sting, and Sam Moore will perform at the Creative Coalition's ball, according to BBC News.

-- Anti-Flag, probably the last band anyone would've expected to play any sort of inaugural ball, will play something called Demand in DC at the Black Cat with Darkest Hour and United Nations.

-- Baltimore club heroes Blaqstarr and Scottie B will be at the Rock and Roll Hotel for the People's Inaugural Ball. (That same staggeringly classy venue will also host the Inaugural Brawl, a Jell-O wrestling thing, the next night.)

-- DC's own Wale will headline a day-long bands/comedians/drinking party presented by Brightest Young Things at Bohemian Caverns, also featuring Team Robespierre.