Pitchfork

Of course, he's not by a longshot, but our favorite ex-Dayton schoolteacher turned iconic lo-fi mini-mogul will be releasing his first solo short-player (gasp!), Motel of Fools, January 14th via Fading Captain. The seven-track opus unfortunately had Pitchfork digging for its dog-eared first edition of The Elements of Style (oh, and HTML for Dummies) in order to present the tracklist in a technically accurate and somewhat eye-pleasing outline form:

    
    01 In the House of Queen Charles Augustus
    
    02 Captain Black
    
    03 Red Ink Superman
    
    04 The Vault of Moons
    
    05 Saga of the Elk
    
    06 The Spanish Hammer:
    
         a) She Drives Camaro
    
         b) Lift
    
         c) Love Set
    
         d) Wildlife Energy
    
    07 Harrison Adams
    
    

The Motel of Fools EP enlists a veritable rogues' gallery of Guided by Voices personnel present and past, including Johnny Strange (alter-ego of Cro-Magnon maven John Shough, right down to the Tony Clifton tuxedo), Do the Collapse veteran/family man Jim MacPherson, legal eagle Greg Demos, Swearing at Motorists road-rager Don Thrasher, drum machine virtuoso Tobin Sprout, the intriguingly named Rat Bastard (actually Rat Bastard Finestra, founder of Lb. Records and member of To Live and Shave in L.A., as well as the widely maligned Laundry Room Squelchers, who SPIN once ranked among the worst bands ever) and Pollard's own terrible pre-GbV heavy metal band, Anacrusis. Yes, it's that kind of an EP. And Captain Black will get you high tonight!

Horrifyingly, the EP may even contain outtakes from an actual, full-length Pollard solo album due this spring. Ever striving to jumpstart the slack economy, Pollard also has notions of releasing a second collaborative record with GbV's Doug Gillard under the name Lifeguards in the fair months ahead, and the official Guided by Voices site reports that the band has already recorded a good dozen or more tracks for the next GbV opus, due in the fall.

But by far the most ridiculous side dish on Pollard's Hungry Man-sized platter has got to be Beard of Lightning, a collaboration between Pollard and mid-80s art-rockers Phantom Tollbooth. Dave Rick, whose musical dalliances have at one time or another involved Yo La Tengo, Bongwater, and King Missile (that should help your six degrees game somewhat) has actually erased the vocals from the band's completely whacked 1988 album Power Toy and given Pollard the tapes "to add new melodies, vocals and lyrics," according to GbV.com. Serenity now!

And yet, despite this maelstrom of activity, you can always count on Pollard to bring home the bacon by continuing to plug away at his day job, which, come to think of it, mostly involves the night shift-- and copious supplies of Heineken and Marlboro Lights. Just like Pitchfork! Tour dates:

01-24 Chicago, IL - Cabaret Metro (w/The Boas)
02-21 Columbus, OH - Music Factory (w/Ron House)
02-22 Bloomington, IN - Bluebird (w/Impossible Shapes)