Pitchfork

Moby, the puny former punk turned radio-ready schlockster was beaten after a show outside the Paradise Club in Boston on December 11th, 2002. According to earlier reports released on his website, he had planned to fill the show's setlist with cover songs and fare that was "more dance oriented (rave oriented, even... although I haven't used that word in a long while)." Presumably, at least three men in the audience wanted to hear more material in the vein of the borderline bubblegum radio hit, "We Are All Made of Stars." But the assailants found out that Moby was speaking facetiously when he bruised rather than bursting into a nebulous cloud of hot gas while beaten.

Moby made a couple statements in his online journal describing the incident:

"...after the show i went outside to get into my car. and there were a few people waiting for autographs, so as usual i stopped to sign a few things. and then all of a sudden i was attacked by (i believe) 3 men with mace. they punched me from behind and i really had no idea what was going on. after being punched in the head from behind a few times i turned around to see what was going on and one of them punched me in the face a couple of times and then they all ran away."

Hmmm, three attackers? In Boston? Could it have been Mission of Burma getting back at him for butchering "That's When I Reach for My Revolver"? Fire up the conspiracy theory machine, I think we may be on to something!

In other Moby news, there appears to be no reason to anticipate the upcoming bill for an Area:3 tour, according to his website. The two previous treks, which inexplicably featured Moby headlining over the likes of Outkast and David Bowie, were apparently too cumbersome for the effort to be done for a third time. Which means we'll all have extra money to catch Avril Lavigne on the Warped Tour.