Pitchfork

On Tuesday, January 28th, musicians, politicians, social action leaders, writers, commentators, and Reverend Billy of the Church of Stop Shopping will converge on Washington, D.C. for the first-ever Sorry State of the Union Rally at the U.S. Capitol. Performers will include the perpetually vocal Mr. Lif, the perpetually screaming Milemarker, and the perpetually-playing-in-SoHo-boutiques Thievery Corporation. Meanwhile, the perpetually straightedge Ian MacKaye will join a cast of speakers that will include: Congressional Whip of the Black Caucus, California Congresswoman Barbara Lee (D-CA); Ohio Representative Dennis Kucinich (D-OH); author of I, Senator, Global Exchange, and Code Pink co-founder Medea Benjamin; and, author of Prayer at Rumalya and co-founder of the National Gulf War Resource Center, Charles Sheehan-Miles. Lucky for you, punctuation exists.

The rally will begin at 6:00 p.m. on the west side of the Capitol's aptly-named Reflecting Pool at 3rd Street, NW (be sure to keep an eye out for the miraculous non-reflecting pool near the magical talking shrub and the tax dollar of invisibility). A march will follow, for which attendees are encouraged to bring flashlights, candles, and lightsabers. I shit you not. Who says the 'Fork doesn't have your political interests in mind? Here's the schedule (which is subject to change based on the whims of the gestapo):

6:00 p.m. - The Whips, Peace Action, Barbara Lee, Dennis Kusinich, 1905
7:00 p.m. - Charles Sheehan Miles, Amy Goodman of Democracy Now, David Rovics, DC Anitwar Network
8:00 p.m. - 302 Acid, Jeff Bale of the Washington Teachers Union, Mr. Lif
9:00 p.m. - Thievery Corporation
10:00 p.m. - Shirts Off, Natalie Johnson Lee of the Green Party, Reverend Billy, Medea Benjamin, Milemarker, Steph Sherer of Safe Access Now
11:00 p.m. - Jungle Jessi, DJ Tom B
12:00 a.m. - Funk DC

The Shirts Off Coalition, a collection of national non-profit, non-governmental organizations, will be joined by several D.C.-area civil society groups to protest President Bush's State of the Union Address and raise public consciousness on the domestic economy, healthcare, and international affairs. Drawing on the January 18th demonstrations against U.S. military action in Iraq-- which saw either half-a-million people (according to organizer's estimates), or fifty thousand people (according to less impressionable top-secret Pitchfork sources) march from the National Mall to the Navy Memorial-- Shirts Off hopes to effect positive change on Capitol Hill.

"We are going to be asking Bush: What is the state of the economy when joblessness has increased dramatically? What is the state of healthcare when the number of uninsured has risen by over 1 million people in a single year? What is the state of our priorities when the elderly have to choose between food or prescription drugs? What is the state of our democracy when the president declares war ignoring vocal opposition?" Believe it or not, this will actually be the first major rally against the President of the United States during a State of the Union Address. He is expected to respond by yelling out the window: "The state of confusion, jagoffs!" And then laughing hysterically for many years to come.