Pitchfork

[Posted Tuesday, September 16th, 2003 04:00:00 Pitchfork Central Time]

Gold. Frankincense. Myrrh. Dross. If the Magi had been truly representin' back in the biblical day, and if they'd had their mad back-to-the-future skillz on, they'd have maybe brought to the J-Man's crib (or manger, if you prefer, 'cause all the cribs was bizzay, yo) a copy of Maybe This Christmas, Too. The imaginatively named follow-up to last year's Maybe This Christmas, the album features a really odd selection of people, from Badly Drawn Boy to the Be Good Tanyas, with a whole lot of other weirdness in-between. You can experience this particular brand of jingle bell rock come November 4th, as soon as the elves at Nettwerk America get off their tiny asses and finish it.

There are some conspicuous absentees from the parade of banality that usually graces your average Christmas compilation: you won't be able to croon along with Shawn Colvin, for example, or Coldplay or Sarah McLachlan, both of whom graced last year's issue. But don't be downhearted, there's always Dave Matthews and the Barenaked Ladies to bore you still further to death as you sit slumped over your eighth or ninth egg nog, and your gross relatives sit in various degrees of overfed disarray all around you (don't you just love Christmas?). And if you want to push the alternative Christmas envelope, look no further than Avril Lavigne and Chantal Kreviazuk (is that an alias for Liz Phair?), Rufus Wainwright, and Rilo Kiley, all of whom bring their very special warm and fuzzy feelings to a mixture of traditional and original festive songs. Perhaps the highlight is the Flaming Lips' rendition of "White Christmas" (Hey, Jesus, do you realize, you have the most beautiful face?), although Sixpence None the Richer's contribution is sure to rock very hard. Aren't they, like, Corrs Light? And what's this? No Sinead? She's retired, you dumbass. Oh, sorry.

Now I don't want to set up our estimable postmistress for some unwelcome mailbag deluge, but wouldn't it be fun to speculate on some of your favorite fantasy Christmas performances. Like, say, what if, oh I don't know, Interpol were to record "Christmas Will Tear Us Apart Again," or Nelly got all "I'm Dreaming of a Hot Christmas in Herre." Are you feeling me, Pitchfork? Are. You. Feeling. Me? Tracklist (do not look directly at it):

01 Rufus Wainwright: "Spotlight on Christmas"
02 Eisley: "The Winter Song"
03 Avril Lavigne and Chantal Kreviazuk: "O Holy Night"
04 Rilo Kiley: "Xmas Cake"
05 Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan: "Silent Night"
06 Guster: "Donde Esta Santa Claus?"
07 Be Good Tanyas: "Rudy"
08 Dave Matthews Band: "The Christmas Song"
09 Oh Susanna: "Go Tell It on the Mountain"
10 Barenaked Ladies: "Green Christmas"
11 Martina Sorbera: "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"
12 Badly Drawn Boy: "Donna & Blitzen"
13 The Flaming Lips: "White Christmas"
14 Sixpence None The Richer: "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear"