Pitchfork

[Posted Wednesday, September 17th, 2003 05:00:00 Pitchfork Central Time]

Micah C. Harding and Stephen Nelson report:
When we heard that retro-rockers The Mooney Suzuki were collaborating with the fascist bad-dream team of overproducers known as The Matrix, I experienced a terrible vision! I saw a Braveheart-type scene with two armies of bloodthirsty extras charging one another with drawn swords and clubs; only in my vision, the sides weren't defined by heroic Scots or Englishmen, but by the pop and alternative music scenes. The newly reborn Liz Phair fronted the pops, while a blue-faced Jack White, on an all-red horse, shouted to his guitar-brandishing army: "They may insult our intelligence, but they can't take... our freedom!" Suddenly the armies charged! Mop-haired frontmen, like a mighty clap of thunder, collided with the gaunt Indian-cattle bodies of an entire barrage of R&B; waifs, causing much bloodshed. The battle was horrific. Casualties littered the beautiful green countryside. But through the settling mist, four figures emerged: Sammy James Jr. (Suzuki's frontman, a poor representative of the alternative army) and the gruesome threesome of Lauren Christy, Graham Edwards, and Scott Spock!

This apocalyptic metaphor, though clearly fictitious, may best explain the sudden shift of direction for these New York hipsters. When the smoke cleared, the Mooney Suzuki loved who could feed them (in other words, signing to Columbia); but after defecting they had to play by new rules. Thus enters the Matrix (no, not the trenchcoat-wearing "I know Kung Fu" Matrix, the ones responsible for the loud-verse-louder-chorus hell of Liz Phair). From the mouth of one of the Matrices themselves: "We think we can go from working with Christina Aguilera to Avril to Mooney Suzuki-- which is Strokes kinda stuff. We try to do whatever we feel is necessary for the artist. We never try to go in and say, 'Hi, we're the Matrix. We're just going to insert you into what we do.' We do have a signature sound when it comes to rock-pop. People go, 'Oh, that's the Avril sound.' No it's not; it's the Matrix sound. We try to magnify the best parts of artists." We were gonna go with a Spinal Tap cucumber gag or a dig at Liz Phair's tits here, but the punchline got bogged down in committee.

Matrix manager Sandy Robertson told Glorious Noise: "The Matrix have cut three tracks with Mooney Suzuki already. They will be co-writing and producing their whole album once Mooney Suzuki gets off Lollapalooza." It seems as though there is no turning back now. A tour is scheduled with The Go for the near future (dates still pending), and then-- Suzuki drifts from Frost's road less traveled.

But honestly, among all the hysteria and gripe, the sudden merger isn't completely astonishing. Retro-minimalist hipsters turning pop/commercial consumption fodder isn't as unlikely as, say, Half-Japanese collaborating with Christina Aguilera for a world tour, or the Boredoms producing a soundtrack for the next animated Disney film, or the Meat Puppets ever calling it quits.