Pitchfork

[Posted Wednesday, October 29th, 2003 06:00:00 Pitchfork Central Time]

Ryan Goldman and Will Bryant report:
As far as I'm concerned, you college kids spend way too much time and money trying to appear older and not nearly enough trying to go young. Sure, a fake ID gets you a drink or two at the bar, but it could be getting you into so many more overpriced shows on the man's dime. Doesn't anyone read Abbie Hoffman anymore? Like a good airline scam or a trick at the expense of the United States Postal Service, a form of identification stating you are five years old or younger could save hundreds, even thousands of dollars in concert and festival tickets over the course of just one year.

A case in point is this weekend's Voodoo Festival in New Orleans, LA. The fifth annual three-day pop fest promises 90 hours of live performances, but at a price tag of $80. The loophole lies in the free-entry-for-kids-five-and-under policy. Please, please, please stick it to the promoters, who actually have the audacity to link 50 Cent, Paul Oakenfold and Cypress Hill back to the cultural tradition of Congo Square and 18th Century Caribbean slaves' flight to freedom. Yeah, that and the fact that relatively few local musicians and almost no artists in the jazz, blues, or zydeco styles were deemed "voodoo" enough to take part, but the White Stripes were.

But perhaps most infuriating is the last-minute addition of Iggy Pop and the original Stooges lineup to the bill-- not because they'll be playing to a mostly undeserving Goth-edition Girls Gone Wild crowd, but because the genuine punk icons must suffer the indignity of appearing between Staind and Marilyn Manson on the main stage. But you know, after you've been pumped up by Fuel and Better Than Ezra, isn't it all good?

Other notable performers at New Orleans' City Park on October 31st, November 1st and November 2nd include (roughly in order of Pitchfork readers' rapidly waning interest): The White Stripes, Queens of the Stone Age, Blackalicious, Mos Def, The Roots, RJD2, and ?uestlove. Drop your date off at the Playstation stage on Saturday night for the triple attack of Felix da Housecat, Sandra Collins, and Paul Oakenfold-- three painfully overrated DJ acts only really hot girls with no taste in music seem capable of enjoying (I can't believe I just typed that). At least festival organizers had the good sense to let Ludacris and 50 Cent build the crowd for George Clinton and P-Funk. I don't care how old the motherfuckers are, our respect is tall. Hopefully those who choose to be wowed by the double-whammy counterprogramming of P.O.D. and Godsmack instead won't tell their children.

Full band lineup (String Cheese Incident and all) at the Voodoo Music Festival website linked below.