Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Plot Ambitious Spring Tour, Plan Live DVD
"First rule of Black Rebel Motorcycle Club: don't talk about Black Rebel Motorcycle Club"

[Posted Monday, November 17th, 2003 06:00:00 Pitchfork Central Time]

Black Rebel Motorcycle club recently toldNew Musical Express that they're planning an ambitious and star-studded U.S. tour next year, so they can "hit the market that [they] missed" the last time around. Man, nothing gets me more excited about the sheer redemptive power of music than when bands talk about "hitting markets."

Planned as a four-band roster playing venues that can accommodate 5,000-plus bodies, drummer Nick Jago dropped some hefty names as potential tourmates: "The Strokes could possibly be on there. We're not sure yet but it'll be along those lines." The Rapture and The Libertines have also been posited as "likely" participants, though planning is still in the incipient stages and this is subject to change.

If the "Delusions of Grandeur" tour goes well, BRMC will then embark on the "Confirmation of Grandeur (Working the Demographics)" tour, a nine-month interplanetary romp for which new mega-stadiums larger than any ever imagined will have to be specially constructed. The tentative line-up includes The Rolling Stones, the ghost of Jimi Hendrix and The Tetragrammaton (a new electroclash duo comprised of Paul Sevigny and Yahweh, the Judeo-Christian deity), and will also make stops at nursery schools, Lamaze classes and pediatric wards in the interest of capitalizing on the increasingly significant disposable income of the 0- 9 year old demographic.

But before any of this can come to fruition, BRMC must emerge from their current European tour alive and un-sued. Luckily, the British aren't as lawsuit-happy as we Yanks, since BRMC recently had to stop a performance in Leeds when it became evident that the floor was sustaining damage. New Musical Express reported that halfway through the band's set on November 5th at the Leeds Town Hall, local security pulled the plug on the concert when it became apparent that a crack was appearing in the floor, which, it was feared, could possibly collapse and plunge the 1,000 assembled fans into a Biblical pit of sulfur and brimstone.

Provided that other UK club proprietors don't barricade their doors when they see the trio approaching like a black leather ghost ship, BRMC will continue to raze a path of destruction through some of Europe's most prestigious and historical venues on the following occasions:

11-17 Oslo, Norway - Rockefeller
11-18 Stockholm, Sweden - Cirkus
11-19 Copenhagen, Denmark - Vega
11-20 Amsterdam, Netherlands - Paradiso
11-22 Koln, Germany - E-Werk
11-23 Paris, France - E. Montmarte
11-25 Hamburg, Germany - G. Freiheit
11-26 Berlin, Germany - Universal
11-28 Munich, Germany - Elserhalle
11-29 Zurich, Switzerland - Abart
11-30 Milan, Italy - Alcatraz

And finally, BRMC will document their single-handed demolition of Europe's concert hall circuit (see, in hyperbolic music writer parlance, cracked floor = orgy of rampant devastation) on a DVD. Guitarist Peter Hayes told NME that BRMC would like to include a good song from each set in each country they've visited on their world tour, but the hardest part has been finding the necessary footage. If it turns out that the footage isn't available, it's possible the DVD will be scaled back to a hand-drawn flip book with a couple I-zone photos and a CD-R featuring a grainy service station security tape of Hayes buying a pack of Gauloises and an Orangina.

BRMC: http://www.blackrebelmotorcycleclub.com