Fuck To Release New Album On Italian Label
John Kerry gives band big ups in Rolling Stone interview

[Updated Tuesday, January 20th, 2004 02:00:00 Pitchfork Central Time]

If I may descend into metaphysics for a moment here, let me advance a theory. In an alternate universe (let's call it Universe X) the good lads from the rock band Fuck are currently lounging about on piles of hundred dollar bills whilst snorting cocaine out of the navels of extremely attractive women who wouldn't dream of even listening to Limp Bizkit, let alone blowing Fred Durst. All this is possible because of one simple detail-- in Universe X, the word "fuck" is a noun referring what we here call "milk." As in, "Honey, could you go to the store and pick up a couple cartons of fuck?" And just to complete the circle, let's say that the word "limp" is a particularly offensive expletive referring to a portion of the female anatomy, and Limp Bizkit is lucky to find work scoring bumper music for Telemundo. Ah, what a lovely world.

Unfortunately, as I awake from my reverie, I notice that here we are in our universe, where "fuck" is a naughty world, Limp Bizkit not only have a recording contract but an A&R; deal, and Fuck (the band) have retreated to a record label in Italy, where, I can only assume, people are more tolerant of such things. Since their, um, heyday on Matador in the late '90s, Fuck have kept more or less active as a band, releasing two records in 2001-- Cupid's Cactus and Gold Bricks, a collection of Fuck ephemera. On January 26th, according to Fuck's home page, Italy's Homesleep Records will release their latest effort, Those Are Not My Bongos. Would you believe the title was the result of a fan naming contest on their website? I thought you might. The tracklist, my pretties:

01 Motherfuckeroos
02 No Longer Whistler's Dream Date
03 Firing Squad
04 Jazz Idiodyssey
05 Her Plastic Acupuncture Foot
06 Vegas
07 Hulk Baby
08 A Conversation
09 A Vow
10 Hideout
11 Table
12 Olives vs Cherries
13 Nowhen, or "Now, Hen"
14 Good Eavnin'
15 How to Say
16 The Sandy Man's Name Is Not "Sandy"

Also available is a seven-inch released last year as part of Homesleep's singles club-- thankfully not a very exclusive club, as the single is available to all comers. It features an alternate version of "Hideout" (from Those Are Not My Bongos) as well as two outtakes from the same sessions.

Finally, Fuck will be performing April 3rd at this year's UK All Tomorrow's Parties, where, if you're lucky, you might find a rip in the space/time continuum leading you to Universe X. If you make it past the Telemundo security guards, give Fred a kick in the balls for me.

Fuck: http://www.fuck.addr.com
Homesleep: http://www.homesleep.it