Har Mar Superstar Gets His Teeth Knocked In
Jerry Springer tussle-sense tingling

Sean Tillman, aka sex-obsessed, overweight white soul crooner Sean Na Na, is one strange fucker. And it goes further than just his own odd brand of humor and stage antics (most commonly stripping down to his white jockeys and breakdancing to the accompaniment of a small boombox): His uncanny resemblance to porno legend Ron Jeremy, his ogling of female audience members at his live shows, and his music in general are all terms of disassociation for your average Pixies-loving Joe. He somehow recalls a stage adaptation of a John Waters film. Pink Flamingos, anyone?

Well, the shit hit the fan for Tillman during SXSW when, in the midst of his performance at a warehouse space, a drunken (or possibly completely sober and fully aware) audience member chucked a giant penis-shaped pinata at Tillman's head. It set off a ridiculous chain reaction, not entirely dissimilar to Fabio's famous birdface incident, in which the pinata knocked Har Mar's microphone into his front teeth, causing enough damage to require several subsequent dentist visits. He's since sworn off dick forever.

The show, of course, went on, but not without further turmoil. While Har Mar later milled about the crowd, mid-histrionics, that same inebriated offender pushed him down, and proceeded to pour an entire drink over his head, thus establishing a substantial burden of proof that Texas really is the greatest state in the Union, as their brochures purport. At the humiliating hands of his offender, Har Mar fucking Superstar abandoned his crooning exercises, and, after handing the mic off to one of his adoring female fans, began to chase the asshole around the venue, throwing trash at him until security escorted the man to the street. At which point the crooning resumed. Spake Har Mar to the NME: "I was pretty angry that my first opportunity to play my new labored-on songs for my friends was ruined by some shitty party fouler... Don't fuck with the fucking best!"

Surprisingly, amongst the wild goings-on of this pot-bellied lounge-act-gone-wrong, Har Mar Superstar still finds the time to make and record music-- though his forthcoming album is currently untitled and lacks any kind of tentative release date. Among the recruits for the new effort are the pulchritudinous Holly Valance, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' shaggy-haired songstress Karen O. Har Mar makes a confession about the album: "It's a lot more musical!" Egads! Well, that's a move in the right direction, as far as I'm concerned. Music sounding more like music. I think he's onto something, kids.

Har Mar Superstar: http://www.harmarsuperstar.com