Beulah Tour Like the Animals That They Are
We were just kidding, they're not really animals

Well, Beulah's latest album might not end up going gold like they were certainly shooting for, but it won't be for lack of touring! They've already traversed these United States once in support of last year's Yoko, but that's not stopping them from doin' it all again. The band launched a 48 fucking date tour yesterday at The Paradiso in Amsterdam-- just the first of a bodyslamming 20-city jaunt which will take them all over that Europe place, including such glorious burgs as Utrecht, Martigny, and yes, Göteborg. And look! After that, they'll return to North America, where they'll hit pretty much every city with a population, except Boseman which hardly even exists except as a punchline anyway (see: this sentence). Here's the dates, all single-file:

04-14 Amsterdam, Netherlands - Paradiso Upstairs
04-15 Rotterdam, Netherlands - Rotown
04-16 Utrecht, Netherlands - Ekko
04-17 Hamburg, Germany - Molotov
04-18 Copenhagen, Denmark - Loppen
04-19 Stockholm, Sweden - Debaser
04-20 Oslo, Norway - Garage
04-21 Göteborg, Sweden - Pusterviksbaren
04-22 Malmö, Sweden - Pink Flag @ Inkonst
04-24 Berlin, Germany - Roter Salon
04-25 Dresden, Germany - Starclub
04-26 Vienna, Austria - Chelsea
04-27 Munich, Germany - Prager Fruehling
04-29 Lausanne, Switzerland - FNAC + V.O.
04-30 Martigny, Switzerland - Cave du Manoir
05-01 Paris, France - Le Nouveau Casino
05-02 Bordeaux, France - C.A.T.
05-04 Tourcoing, France - Le Grand Mix
05-05 London, England - Garage
05-07 Brussels, Belgium - Les Nuits Botanique

05-14 Los Angeles, CA - El Rey
05-15 San Diego, CA - The Casbah
05-16 Phoenix, AZ - Old Brickhouse
05-19 Austin, TX - The Parish (Mercury)
05-20 Dallas, TX - Trees
05-21 Houston, TX - Fat Cat's
05-22 New Orleans, LA - The Parish
05-23 Birmingham, AL - Zydeco
05-25 Tampa, FL - The Orpheum
05-26 Orlando, FL - The Social
05-27 St. Augustine, FL - Cafe Eleven
05-28 Atlanta, GA - The Earl
05-29 Nashville, TN - 12th & Porter
05-31 Carrboro, NC - Cat's Cradle
06-01 Washington, D.C. - Black Cat
06-02 Philadelphia, PA - Northstar
06-03 Brooklyn, NY - North Six
06-04 New York City, NY - Bowery Ballroom
06-05 Boston, MA - Middle East
06-07 Pittsburgh, PA - The Rex Theater
06-08 Newport, KY - Southgate House
06-09 Columbus, OH - Little Brother's
06-10 Detroit, MI - Magic Stick
06-11 Chicago, IL - The Abbey
06-12 Chicago, IL - The Abbey
06-13 Minneapolis, MN - 400 Bar
06-26 San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore

Okay, now let's just assume for a minute that you live in some total backwoods shithole that not even Beulah would think about playing. No sweat, hoss! The guys were thoughtful enough to film a substantial portion of their previous fall tour for a DVD documentary (you do have a DVD player, right?), entitled A Good Band Is Easy to Kill. Bad news first: It does not star Steven Seagal. The good news: It's coming out. Beulah guy Bill Swan assured us that it will most likely hit Intershelves in fall, and that it will contain "live footage, van life, hotel life, fights, orgies, coke snorting, scrabble, boredom..." Don't worry, kids, we'll hold 'em to it. We actually have nothing better to do.

Beulah: http://www.beulahmania.com