Queens of the Stone Age Team with Disney on New LP
Donald Duck snags "tight" chain wallet, white belt at Orlando thrift mart

Brian Howe (incredulously) reports:
File under "things that make you go hmmm..." According to a recent report in New Musical Express, the next Queens of the Stone Age album, which the band will begin recording at the end of this month, is set to feature an unlikely collaboration. Now, musical crossovers are pretty much the norm in hip-hop, but in rock, they're a bit more rare and fraught with peril. When Thom Yorke sang on P.J. Harvey's record? That was pretty sweet. Or, remember when Anthrax and Public Enemy laid down "Bring the Noise"? Tight! Rumor has it that Outkast's Andre 3000 may link up with Jack White, which sounds cool in theory, but which I fear would, in praxis, leave us all sucking the mop. So it is with trembling hands and some trepidation that I report that the next QOTSA record will feature the talents of the Disney Marching Band.

Click "refresh" as many times as you want, partner; it's going to read the same. QOTSA frontman Josh Homme recently announced the improbable pairing during an interview with ABC News Radio, and added that he's "completely serious," dispelling any notion that this is a John Vanderslice-patented, buzz-generating hoax. I mean, why would he lie? A story like this could only garner the new record preliminary write-ups in rags across the nation eager for a "quirky" story to break the monotony, and boost curious pre-order sales immeasurably! When asked how he convinced the Disney Marching Band to play on a peyote-soaked metal record, Homme reportedly replied, "I slept with Goofy." I don't know, folks, are we buying this?

In the interest of shining the cleansing fire of investigative journalism on this story, I recently went on a fact-finding mission to The Magic Kingdom, equipped with a Vespa from the Pitchfork company fleet and Schreiber's Platinum Indie Cred-it Card, which, it turns out, is accepted ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOWHERE. All you kids on the message boards who think Pitchfork writers are in it for the cred; let me clue you in-- it's worth jack shit. Trust me; I've tried: "Hey, I'm hungry, I think I'll make a nice Indie Cred sandwich." "Excuse me, my Vespa is out of gas. Do you accept Indie Cred as a method of payment?"

So while I was unable to actually enter The Happiest Place on Earth and dig up the dirt, I did manage to score a five-minute interview with Mickey Mouse after promising the twin armed guards in mouse ears and bandoliers at the Disney gates a Pitchfork namedrop. Or so I thought. They ushered me into a Port-A-John where the head cheese supposedly waited, and proceeded to beat me unmercifully for upwards of an hour, one of them restating with each blow that Disney "keeps it in the family" and "doesn't truck with pesky outsiders." But hey, um, big ups to the twins, Susie and Hunter! Please don't hit me with those sharp sticks any more; I believe in magic, I do, I do...

Queens of the Stone Age: http://www.qotsa.com

Posted by in on Wed: 05-19-04: 12:00 AM CDT | Digg this article | Add to del.icio.us | Permalink