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Joy Division Biopic May Star Jude Law
Gene Shalit forced into painful sodomy ritual, made to eat own bowtie


Since his suicide in 1980, Joy Division frontman Ian Curtis has become one of indie rock's most romanticized heroes. A geeky James Dean, if you will, who moaned hauntingly personal lyrics of emotional despair atop a stark musical backdrop. Always ready to turn Greek tragedy into box office gold, Hollywood has once again come knocking on Curtis' casket, as a biopic of his short life is currently in production. Claraflora, a U.S. production company, is producing the as-yet-untitled film to be based on the book Touching from a Distance, written by Curtis's widow Deborah. Of course, 2002's excellent 24 Hour Party People has already told much of the Ian Curtis/Joy Division story, but y'know, if Dante's Peak and Volcano can co-exist in this crazy world, I say run with it.

Joy Division/New Order bassist Peter Hook told the Manchester Evening News: "The film is being made by Hollywood, but what's important is that they get the story right." On the casting front, Hook said, "The whisper I've heard is that Jude Law will probably play the role. It's not a bad choice. I don't know why the guy who played Ian in 24 Hour Party People can't do it-- because he was absolutely brilliant. When our drummer, Bernard and I saw him we were gobsmacked." (Translation: "To be smacked by Gob, the infamous 8th century Britannic warlord whose penchant for smacking has since been unrivaled.)

On the subject of Curtis' portrayer, the film's producer, Todd Eckert, has been more elusive, telling the BBC: "We are speaking with an actor who is huge and looks rather a lot like Ian. He has just finished a couple of films in which the only thing he listened to was Joy Division and New Order." Last time we checked, Jude Law looked more like Simon LeBon, but we suppose if they'll put Will Smith in boxer shorts and call his jiggy ass Muhammad Ali, this may not be such a stretch. Ahh, if only Gary Oldman was young again...

One final nugget of info on the proposed Curtis film-- which is not to be confused with the forthcoming Jude Law film Closer, in which he plays a character known only as "Dan"-- is that several reports are citing Moby as a possible musical advisor for the project. That's when we reached for our revolver.

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