Pitchfork

Brian Teasley, percussionist for Texas-based indie-pop outfit The Polyphonic Spree, caused a major ruckus at the Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport last Thursday, and in the process managed to weasel his way onto the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list-- for about an hour and a half. The offense? Concealing a microphone in his baggage-- a Placid Audio Copperphone, to be exact-- that was subsequently mistaken by airport security for a bomb.

No word of the scare had reached the Birmingham Airport Thursday evening when Teasley arrived in Alabama, where he currently resides, though he was disappointed to discover his luggage hadn't arrived. So he filed a complaint with American Airlines, then proceeded to do what anyone else in this situation would do: He went to Taco Bell.

It was upon arriving back at home that Teasley was approached by an FBI agent. Appearing seemingly out of nowhere, the agent asked, "Are you Brian Teasley?" When Teasley replied in the affirmative, the agent stated calmly into his lapel, "We got him." As Teasley tells it, cars immediately came from every direction at once, blocking off the driveway and thoroughly congesting the street. It turns out that after the airport security discovered the device in one of Teasley's bags, five gates were shut down in the C terminal, the bomb disposal robot was called out, and the FBI was contacted.

"If you're looking for a solid alibi, being on a national TV show is a good one," Teasley joked in a telephone interview with Pitchfork, referring to the fact that The Polyphonic Spree had recently performed on Late Night with Craig Kilborn. Once Teasley realized the source of the misunderstanding, he told the agent that he had the performance on TiVo, and could easily show them the microphone in question. After viewing the performance, the FBI were able to confirm with Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport that the item in question was, in fact, just a microphone. However, why the agents were unable to just disassemble the damn thing and figure out that it wasn't a bomb is a question you might not want to ask yourself, if you'd like to feel good about the state of national security.

"I don't want to over-dramatize the situation," Teasley stated, "but there were two or three minutes when I thought I was going to be in Guantanamo Bay with the Abu Ghraib people holding a thumbs up while pointing to my penis. I wasn't really scared about Guantanamo, I just didn't want people to see my penis. I'm a very private person." As for the Spree, you can catch the terrorists, er, band on tour throughout the rest of August at the following dates:

08-13 Chicago, IL - Park West
08-14 Chicago, IL - Park West
08-16 Washington, D.C. - 9:30 Club
08-18 Boston, MA - Paradise Rock Club
08-19 Boston, MA - Paradise Rock Club
08-21 Philadelphia, PA - First Unitarian Church
08-22 Philadelphia, PA - First Unitarian Church
08-24 New York, NY - Irving Plaza
08-25 New York, NY - Irving Plaza