Pitchfork

For those blessed with a unique and charismatic voice, work isn't hard to find. Vocal wizards like Gilbert Gottfried and "Cliff from Cheers" are raking in the big bucks for voiceovers on everything from Pixar films to talking tampon ads (umm...hopefully not). But not everybody's into pimping their larynxes for cash.

When it comes to inimitable voices, one immediately thinks of Tom Waits, whose ravaged rasp has enabled him to thrive in a musical genre of his own making. While Waits likes nothing more than to lend his coarse voice and handsome mug to favored producers and directors (like Jim Jarmusch and Robert Altman), he neither shills for commercial products nor takes kindly to anyone secretly using his famous inflection, whether it's his very own or that of a soundalike. On September 15, it was widely announced that Waits had filed a suit against the General Motors offshoot Adam Opel AG and the Frankfurt-based advertising firm McCann Erickson Deutschland for violation of the singer's personality rights under German law. He alleges that a Waits impersonator is currently selling cars in Scandinavia, and he won't stand for it.

In a statement to the press, Waits charged with typical wit, "Apparently the highest compliment our culture grants artists nowadays is to be in an ad-- ideally naked and purring on the hood of a new car. I have adamantly and repeatedly refused this dubious honor. Currently accepting, in my absence, is my German doppelganger. While the court can't make me active in radio, I am asking it to make me radioactive to advertisers." He added that the commercial was "equivalent to someone sewing an udder on my face."

There is a long legal history involving Waits and those attempting to procure his incomparable songs and persona for ads. In 1988, Frito Lay was the first company to feel the wrath of Waits when the chip giant used a sound-alike for a radio spot. Waits won a lawsuit and found himself 2.6 million richer for his troubles. In 1993, Levi's had to print an apology in Billboard and cease all use of an unauthorized ad that featured Screamin' Jay Hawkins' version of Waits' "Heartattack and Vine". Audi was the next to try its luck with a Waits voice clone, after getting turned down with their request to use his "Innocent When You Dream" in a 2000 Spanish advert. This resulted in a judgment declaring copyright infringement, violation of moral rights, and more coin in the singer's pocket.You'd think people would have learned not to fuck with this guy by now, but apparently not.

In less litigious Tom Waits news, the elusive singer made an appearance at a Hurricane Katrina benefit concert at Radio City Music Hall in New York on Tuesday. "I wish New Orleans was dry and Washington was underwater," he told the crowd. Waits' label, Anti-, confirmed to Pitchfork that a rarities box set, tentatively titled Orphans, is in the works. There's no more info right now, but we'll keep you updated. In the meantime, take heed the next time you're belting out "16 Shells from a Thirty-Ought-Six" at your fave karaoke spot and your friends stuff a couple dollars down your shirt, 'cause if Tom Waits finds out, he WILL sue that ass.

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