Pitchfork

On the charge of criminal negligence, we find the defendant, the Chicago Cultural Affairs Department, guilty. I mean, denying Radiohead a gig at the spectacular Frank Gehry-designed venue in Millennium Park is abusive, right?

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, concert promoters Jam Productions approached the city with a proposal for Radiohead performances at the downtown park on June 19 and 20, but The Man rejected them. Why? Because the Grant Park Symphony Orchestra is scheduled to--get this--rehearse on June 20. WTF? They can't just move to another park for the day?

Guess not. The orchestra can only practice with its own sound system, which apparently isn't one of those portable jobs you can pick up at Sam Ash. "Free public programming is part of the venue's mission," Cultural Affairs Department spokeswoman Karen Ryan explained to the Sun-Times. "We have to support organizations such as the Grant Park Orchestra, but we're open to other events if there are availabilities at other times."

We advise local authorities to enter Ryan into the Witness Protection Program immediately.

Of course, this doesn't mean that Radiohead won't be performing in Chicago in June. It just won't be happening in Millennium Park.

And there is quite a big upside to all this: Radiohead is planning a summer American tour. Yay!