Pitchfork

The Scottish police force has noticed an increase in monster-related chatter recently, with informants indicating that March 6 will bring a particularly violent attack upon the UK (an American ambush is anticipated for the following day, March 7). Since the Loch Ness Monster announced her retirement from the game years ago, and has been working with local youth gang-prevention initiatives ever since, there can be only one source for the coming strike: the deadly Mogwai.

As previously reported, the instrumental crafters of guitar lull and swell will unleash their fifth album, Mr. Beast, on those fateful March days. It will be preceded by the first single, "Friend of the Night", on January 30. Only one more week, folks! Be prepared!

The first of March will bring the band to the USA for a slew of tour dates (although the West coast will be unjustly ignored), after which Mogwai will continue their post-rock-rock-rockin-it skull crushing (followed by a sweet kiss, of course) back in their own United Kingdom. The newly announced dates include an appearance at the Triptych Festival in Edinburgh in late April, alongside the Silver Jews (see the news story right above this), as well as shows in France, Germany, Italy, and Holland . And in a burst of obsessive-compulsive foresight and planning, a September London date has been announced, for which tickets went on sale this week.

Government commissioned dates:

01-24 Tokyo, Japan - Unit ~
01-25 Tokyo, Japan - Unit #
03-01 Chicago, IL - Logan Square Auditorium %
03-02 Columbus, OH - Wexner Center for the Arts %
03-03 Lexington, KY - The Dame %
03-04 Charlottesville, VA - Satellite Ballroom %
03-06 New York, NY - Avalon %
03-07 Baltimore, MD - Sonar %
03-08 Chapel Hill, NC - Cat's Cradle %
03-09 Asheville, NC - Orange Peel %
03-10 Nashville, TN - Mercy Lounge %
03-11 Atlanta, GA - WhirlyBall Atlanta %
03-12 Atlanta, GA - WhirlyBall Atlanta +
03-14 Houston, TX - Numbers +
03-15 Austin, TX - Stubb's (Matador SXSW Showcase) =
03-29 Bristol, England - Academy
03-30 Southampton, England - Southampton University
03-31 Wolverhampton, England - Wulfrun Hall
04-01 Oxford, England - Brookes University
04-02 Cardiff, Wales - Coal Exchange
04-04 Cambridge, England - Junction
04-05 Liverpool, England - Carling Academy
04-06 Newcastle, England - Northumbria University
04-07 Sheffield, England - The Plug
04-08 Lille, France - Splendid
04-09 Strasbourg, France - Laiterie
04-11 Toulouse, France - SDF
04-12 Clermont-Ferrand, France - Cooperative de Mai
04-13 Paris, France - Bataclan
04-14 Rotterdam, Holland - Motel Mozaique Festival
04-15 Cologne, Germany - Live Music Hall
04-18 Florence, Italy - Flog
04-20 Milan, Italy - Rolling Stone
04-21 Treviso, Italy - New Age
04-23 Munich, Germany - Elserhalle
04-24 Berlin, Germany - Postbahnhof
04-25 Hamburg, Germany - Gruenspan
04-27 Edinburgh, Scotland - Queens Hall (Triptych Festival)
09-22 London, England - Royal Albert Hall

~ with Melt-Banana
# with Afrirampo
% with Growing
+ with Torche
= with Belle and Sebastian, Cat Power, New Pornographers, Brightblack Morning Light, Jennifer O'Connor

You might notice that the Atlanta dates are booked at a venue that doesn't usually show up on most band's itineraries: the WhirlyBall Atlanta. That's because the WhirlyBall isn't your average bar or club. It's a place where you go to play a game that is "a combination of basketball, hockey, and Jai-Alai played while riding an electrically powered machine, similar to a bumper car, called a WhirlyBug," according to the WhirlyBall website. Holy mother of god.

Oh, and the March 12 show? It takes place at three in the afternoon, is being billed as "Brunch With Mogwai", and coffee and donuts are included in the ticket price.

Bumper cars, coffee, donuts, and Mogwai? Our brains are incapable of processing how awesome that is going to be.