Pitchfork

When it comes to catching pedophiles, who do you trust more: a man in uniform, or a man in a purple chinchilla coat?

Exactly.

At a recent press conference, rapper/entrepreneur/Dipset leader Cam'ron announced that he intends to wipe out the internet child porn problem in his own special way: on DVD. According to MTV.com, Killa was inspired by an MSNBC special report on adults using the World Wide Web as a tool to set up dates with children and adolescents. So he began patrolling the internet and the streets, deceiving, confronting, shocking, and, yes, videotaping creeps on the prowl for underage victims.

Cam told MTV, "When they get there, it's gonna be me and [my manager] Big Joe like, 'What the hell are you doing, you damn pervert? What the f--- is wrong with you, coming to meet a 13-year-old boy?' We're gonna talk to them and not let them leave until we find out what's wrong with them."

Hopefully, the interrogations will also include interpolations of cheesy 80s hits, references to Dora the Explorer, Juelz Santana guest spots, and clubbing dudes over the head with a Dipset Eagle piece and/or that massive spinning globe thing Cam has been wearing around his neck lately. Because we'd really, really like to see all of that on film.

After 10 such "get-togethers" have been put to tape (the count currently stands at two), Cam'ron intends to collect 'em all on one masterpiece DVD. Can this be on the same disc as the Killa Season movie? Please?

MTV also reports that according to Cam's Diplomats, the police won't be involved in any of this. No surprise there, as Cam has repeatedly refused to cooperate with the investigation surrounding his shooting in D.C. in October. Like we always say, if you can't get along with the law, get along above it.

In other news, Jay-Z continues to wear mandals.