Pitchfork

It's time to pass the stunna shades, Bono. There's a new world peacemaker in, um, Earth: Jay Hova himself. Never to be outdone, Jay-Z announced his upcoming world tour in style yesterday AT A PRESS CONFERENCE HELD AT THE U.N.!

Jay was sitting with U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan and MTV President Christina Norman when he announced that his tour would take him across the globe to raise awareness of the world's water crisis, visiting and meeting with people during the day and performing live at night. MTV will document the tour on a special to be aired November 24: "Diary of Jay-Z: Water for Life".

Jay-Z had this to say about the motivation behind this tour: "I wanted to get out and play places I haven't seen...I'm very excited to go and not only be a rock star in these countries, but to help...I'm not a politician. I'm just a regular person with a heart."

That's how it starts, but before you know it, he'll be working double time as President of Def Jam and the United States. The GOP will become the HOV, and the great moment of the 2008 election will be when the crowd at the convention throws their diamonds to the sky.

Like those predictions, Jay's specific tour itinerary is unconfirmed at the moment, but MTV.com says it will start in Poland on September 9. And of course, it has to be finished in time for the airing of the MTV documentary on November 24. As soon as those dates are announced, you can be sure that we here at Jay's campaign headquart--err, Pitchfork will let you know.