Pitchfork

Paste magazine cover stars (!?) and acoustic-dabblers (!??) the Hold Steady will prove they're truly all about the Boys and Girls in America this spring, as the Boss-y Minneapolis quintet preach the gospel of their 2006-conquering third LP across the purple mountain majesty of the USA. Appropriately, many of these events on the Steady's just-announced tour occur in the Midwest, where the streets are paved with beer.

First, however, those traitors will flirt with dangerous socialist notions among the winos over in Europe. They'll also commingle with treacherous free-thinkers at the previously reported Sasquatch! and Bonnaroo festivals/drug-orgies. Hopefully all the other dates in America's freedom-drenched bars and ballrooms will help keep the Steady true to their motherland's infallible capitalistic ideals. Hopefully my cheek enjoys the massage it's getting from my tongue right now.

A toast to reader Jeff Benson for the tip!

Finally, it's not too late to submit your 11th hour entry for the Hold Steady music video contest, but act fast! They're due March 31.

USA! USA! USA!:

04-13 Rotterdam, Netherlands - Motel Mazaique Festival
04-14 Berlin, Germany - Knaack
04-15 Cologne, Germany - Gebaude 9
04-18 Barcelona, Spain - Razzmatazz 3
04-19 Madrid, Spain - Moby Dick
05-12 Harrisburg, PA - Abbey Bar at Appalachian Brewing Co.
05-13 Cleveland, OH - Beachland Ballroom
05-14 Newport, KY - Southgate House
05-15 Detroit, MI - Magic Stick
05-16 Grand Rapids, MI - Intersection
05-17 Milwaukee, WI - Miramar
05-18 Madison, WI - Orpheum Stage Door
05-20 Omaha, NE - Sokol Underground
05-22 Denver, CO - Ogden Theatre
05-23 Salt Lake City, UT - Urban Lounge
05-24 Boise, ID - Neurolux
05-26 George, WA - The Gorge (Sasquatch! Festival)
05-28 Portland, OR - Crystal Ballroom
05-30 San Francisco, CA - Slim's
05-31 Los Angeles, CA - El Rey Theatre
06-02 Phoenix, AZ - Brick House
06-16 Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo Festival