Pitchfork

If it seems like lately we've been slower than usual to answer your e-mails or update in the morning, we might claim it's because we've been revamping our website. But honestly? We've been spending hours enjoying YouTube, falling in love with the music video all over again.

So now we're making use of our video-inspired sloth, sharing 100 of our favorite music videos; simply, dozens of clips that, for various reasons (because they're so good, because they're so bad, because they feature the Jacksons imagining themselves as gigantic golden gods sprinkling gold dust on humanity), we enjoy watching and hope you'll enjoy as well.

When selecting the following vids we decided to chuck anything from the Director's Label Series-- virtually everything on those collections would be obvious candidates for a list like this-- and stick to clips roughly from the MTV era. Crucially, they also all had to be on YouTube-- we prefer giving you the chance to see a clip to simply talking about one. Best to check these out early and often, then-- it is possible that some record label funcrusher could come around and wrinkle his nose at us pointing you all to a commercial for his company's product.

A-Ha: "Take on Me"
1985
Directed by Steve Barron
Can be found on Headlines and Deadlines: The Hits of A-Ha DVD



Like Tron, "Take on Me" was a defining 1980s special-effects moment; not because it was ahead of its time technologically, but because it was exactly of its time. This video is nothing more than rotoscoping, which had been around for decades, but something about the girl-jumps-into-poorly-drawn-comic concept was striking enough to become as memory-stuck as the song's godly riff. [Rob Mitchum]

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Adam and the Ants: "Stand and Deliver"
1981
Directed by Mike Mansfield
Can be found on Digital Tenderness DVD [not yet released]



How to become a pop star: conflate Robin Hood, Native Americans, 18th-century vagabonds, and Marc Bolan. Sing in the most affected Little Lord Fauntleroy voice possible. Add Bo Diddley beat, surf twang, general air of New Romantic swish. Sell back to heartland America. Eventually make pile of money. [Jess Harvell]

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Air: "Kelly Watch the Stars"
1998
Directed by Mike Mills
Can be found on Talkie Walkie Japanese import CD/DVD



Crazy how so much kitsch-- slo-mo ping-pong, retro couture, acoustic guitars, out-of-body experiences, French people, and Pong for crissakes-- coalesces into a superlatively fun and surprise-filled play on the tired sports nail-biter. Doesn't hurt any that Kelly is totally crushworthy. [Matthew Solarski]

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Alex Gopher: "The Child"
1999
Directed by Antoine Bardou-Jacquet
Can be found on Gas TV 04 DVD



Font porn. [Peter Macia]

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Art of Noise: "Close (to the Edit)"
1984
Directed by Zbigniew Rybczynski
Can be found on Into Battle With the Art of Noise import CD/DVD



Sax carnage. Trumpets and violins trampled underfoot. An old wooden piano systematically destroyed by chainsaws and sledgehammers. A freak punk preteen tormenting an innocent puppy with encased meats. At seven years old, watching this on "Friday Night Videos" was one of those super insignificant media-consumer rites of passage, like seeing your first hockey fight or throat stabbing or man getting fucked to death by a horse. The world never looks the same. [Ryan Schreiber]

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The Avalanches: "Frontier Psychiatrist"
2001
Directed by Tom Kuntz and Mike Maguire
Can be found on Frontier Psychiatrist DVD



Sometimes the most obvious concept for a video also turns out to be the best. Bringing the samples to life and spreading them across a stage like The Hall of Presidents, "Frontier Psychiatrist" simultaneously casts a wink toward the dismissal that DJs are boring to watch work and emphasizes the scope of the Avalanches' source material. Like their music, the assembled oddities-- the ghost choir is my favorite-- coalesce into an improbably coherent whole...except for the nightmarish old-man turtle, of course. [Rob Mitchum]

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Basement Jaxx: "Where's Your Head At?
2001
Directed by Traktor
Can be found on Basement Jaxx: The Videos DVD



Now that you've finally stopped having nightmares where homicidal children with Richard D. James' face pursue you...we're going to kindly remind you of this. [Matthew Solarski]

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Björk: "Triumph of a Heart"
2005
Directed by Spike Jonze
Can be found on Triumph of a Heart DVD



It's that same old song: Girl is vaguely but essentially dissatisfied with cat; girl leaves cat and goes out for night of debauchery and soul-searching; soul-searching turns into a cappella orgy and bruises to the forehead; cat (who has undoubtedly been peering into his soul as well) picks up girl from the side of the road, immediately recognizing the passionate young pixie he fell for all those year ago; couple basks in renewed love and performs dance of happiness (and also cat becomes huge). Love is the answer. [Dominique Leone]

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Blur: "Coffee & TV"
1999
Directed by Hammer & Tongs
Can be found on Blur: The Best of DVD



Reasons to like this video:
1. It perfectly translates the song's loping acoustic groove to imaginative visuals.
2. If only accidentally, it punctures the sanctimoniousness of Soul Asylum's "Runaway Train" video.
3. The expressions on the milk carton's face are funny, but it's those expressive little arms that really sell its humanity.
4. Its milk-carton protagonist has his own fan site.
5. It's all about Graham Coxon, not Damon Albarn [Stephen M. Deusner]

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Boards of Canada: "Dayvan Cowboy"
2006
Directed by Melissa Olson
Can be found on Dayvan Cowboy DVD



It's pretty easy to get wrapped up in the grainy, existential pulchritude of this thing and completely miss the cheeky self-reference. So, um, where can one surf in Canada? [Matthew Solarski]

 

 

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Bone Thugs-N-Harmony: "Tha Crossroads"
1996
Directed by Michael Martin
Can be found on Bone Thugs-N-Harmony: Greatest Video Hits DVD



Have mondo-sized budget, will go overboard with the computer graphics to pay tribute to Eazy-E, I guess. (The face in the brick wall says ka-ching.) And I know the song's about dying and why dying sucks, but having death come for the baby is just wrong. [David Raposa]

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Boogie Down Productions: "My Philosophy"
1988
Directed by Fab 5 Freddy



Just as he never rhymed live over a backing vocal track, Kris Parker didn't mind spitting a capella while filming a video. First, last and only MC to let his voice be the one thing you needed to hear. [Sean Fennessey]

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Bronski Beat: "Smalltown Boy"
1984
Directed by Bernard Rose



It's not the rarest story in pop music: small town boy runs off to the big city, just like Axl Rose stepping off that bus and getting welcomed to the jungle. But in this video the jungle is actually back in the small town, and Jimmy Somerville's the young gay man leaving behind a home of frosty parents and hostile lads. It's a music video that plays out like a sober BBC drama, and it's about as nuanced as five minutes can get about what it means to have to leave one's home. [Nitsuh Abebe]

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Busta Rhymes: "Woo-Ha!! Got You All in Check!"
1996
Directed by Hype Williams
Can be found on Hype Williams: The Videos DVD



Busta Rhymes used to be cool. Flaunting his mile-wide grin, ridunkulous eye-melting parkas, and air traffic controller arm gestures, the ADD freak all but forces Hype Williams to employ his now-trademark fisheye lens for this video, the first of several high-octane collaborations between the two. Energy, color, and the rapper's burgeoning star power usurp G-strings, mean mugs, and 40s and the result is a day-glo spin on the idyllic, "when hip-hop was fun" vibe. You may not remember the verses, but that yellow top hat has a way of searing into one's brain folds. [Ryan Dombal]

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Cee-Lo: "Closet Freak"
2002
Directed by Brian Beletic
Can be found on Cee-Lo: Closet Freak enhanced CD



Even when he was just one-fourth of the Goodie Mob, Cee-Lo was a weird guy, rocking spiked gauntlets and repping for Mötley Crüe. But with the churchy, sex-jam vamp of "Closet Freak", he launched his solo career by leaping headlong into his own ecstatic flamboyance. And the video brings the visuals to match: laser-Floyd hawks, rhinestone batwings, epileptic strobe-flashes, a towering white-feather mohawk. It's a mid-70s episode of "Soul Train" run through a psychedelic kaleidoscope, and if the Cowardly Lion costumes Cee-Lo is rocking with Gnarls Barkley look a bit pedestrian, now you know why. [Tom Breihan]

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The Chemical Brothers: "Believe"
2005
Directed by Dom & Nic
Can be found on Singles 93-03 DVD



Those miffed by the no-Chris Cunningham clause can get their freaked-out on to this techno-paranoia pursuit thriller-- although we're convinced there's a director's cut lurking out there somewhere with a better (read: gorier) ending. [Matthew Solarski]

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Chicago Bears Shufflin' Crew: "Super Bowl Shuffle"
1986
Directed by Dave Thompson
Can be found on Chicago Bears: Super Bowl Shuffle DVD



Given that ownership of the Super Bowl Shuffle making-of tape was mandatory for Chicagoans in 1985, I think we can build a case against the song on charges of keeping Chicago hip-hop crappy for almost the next two decades. The first of its athletes-making-fools-of-themselves kind, "Super Bowl Shuffle" has all the production value of the amusement park Make Your Own Video booth, fake instruments, hi-tech editing effects-- and all.

Even as a six year-old, I remember being pissed at how Walter Payton and Jim McMahon look cut-and-pasted into the video, though only now with maturity can I appreciate the flow of Willie Gault or the supple cowbelling of Maury Buford. [Rob Mitchum]

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Cyndi Lauper: "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"
1984
Directed by Edd Griles
Can be found on Twelve Deadly Cyns...And Then Some DVD



God bless Cyndi and her awesomeness. I would ask that some enterprising pop star (with or without guitar) give this song and video a 21st century look-see, but I know that nothing good will come of it. Also, I know the director would probably get Hulk Hogan to play Captain Lou, and that'd be just stupid. [David Raposa]

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D'Angelo: "Untitled (How Does It Feel?)"
2000
Directed by Paul Hunter and Dominique Trenier
Can be found on Untitled (How Does It Feel?) Import CD-Single



Re-viewing "Untitled" after all these years, it's not as sexy as I remember it. Those abs are actually kinda creepy; watching them undulate is more like an anatomy lesson than a peep show. And I think his belly button is bigger than my head.

But I'm not complaining. Every time a man that fine gets naked on TV, we're one step closer to world peace. [Amy Phillips]

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Daft Punk: "Burnin'"
1997
Directed by Seb Janiak
Can be found on Daft Punk: A Story About Dogs, Androids, Firemen and Tomatoes DVD



Dancing is fun, sure. But it can be dangerous-- especially when you're dancing at a chic party inside a high-rise that happens to be on fire. Yes, it's hot in here because it's burnin'. But director Seb Janiak skews expectations by focusing on the heroic firefighters sent to the building's rescue rather than the clip's Bacchanalian nightcrawlers who can't tell the difference between Daft Punk's zipper two-step and a fire alarm. [Ryan Dombal]

 

 

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David Brent: "If You Don't Know Me By Now"
2003
Directed by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant
Can be found on The Office: Christmas Special DVD



To explain the joke is to ruin the joke. If you don't know David Brent by now, you will never never never know him.

(No you won't.) [Stephen M. Deusner]

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David Hasselhoff: "Hooked on a Feeling"
2002

This ridiculous video for Hasselhoff's B.J. Thomas cover is one of only a handful for which we can't locate a director's credit. Somehow we don't think that's a coincidence. [Tiffany Breyne]

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David Lee Roth: "Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody"
1985
Directed by Pete Angelus and David Lee Roth
Can be found on Videos VHS



For such a supposed sex god, David Lee Roth was a fucking goofball. The Rothinator's first solo video finds him scatting hilariously and tap dancing dubiously all while "imagining" his own ultimate music video-- which turns out to be a Weird Al amalgam of the day's popular styles, with Dave bursting in on Michael Jackson and Boy George look-a-likes and generally making an ass out of himself. It's a brilliant kitchen-sink pop send-up that doubles as a parody of the rock frontman persona, typified by a scene where he fronts a pink-suited horn quartet in front of a row of porta-potties. In 1984 at least, Dave was the shit. [Ryan Dombal]

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The Decemberists: "16 Military Wives"
2005
Directed by Aaron Stewart-Ahn
Can be found on 16 Military Wives CD single



As is the case with the best satire, the "16 Military Wives" video is funny because it's true: International politics really is just like high school. And so what if it rips off Rushmore? More things should rip off Rushmore. [Amy Phillips]

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Dio: "Holy Diver"
1983
Directed by Arthur Ellis



Fantasy role-playing at its reality-defying best: Ronnie James Dio as a beast of an opponent, the most formidable dimunitive curly-locked cockrocker ever to thrust a flat in your ass. (It's part of a sword, I had to look it up.) It took a creative mind, but here he is, decked out in faux-chinchilla, felling the helpless derelicts, and stalking cobblestone streets with a coy grin that looks like he's holding back the heartiest laughs. Actually, it looks like the world's crappiest MUD come to life, but think about it: Dude left Sabbath for this. There is definitely something amazing about this he's not telling us. [Ryan Schreiber]

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DJ Shadow: "Six Days"
2002
Directed by Wong Kar-Wai
Can be found on Six Days DVD



Loads of music video directors make the move to feature films with varying degrees of success; when a visionary like Wong Kar-Wai does the opposite, it's almost unfair. Lensed by his regular accomplice Christopher Doyle, this visually sumptuous and relatively complex narrative actually makes Shadow's music sound like every critic's favorite adjective: cinematic. [Peter Macia]

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Dr. Dre: "Nuthin' But a G Thang"
1994
Directed by Dr. Dre
Can be found on The Very Best of Death Row CD+DVD



I have this theory that the toddler that raises and points his hand like a flipper in the sky right after Snoop says "...it's like this" at the 2:38 mark is now good friends with the kid on the cover of Nirvana's Nevermind and they're at work on a sitcom pilot for the Oxygen network. [Sean Fennessey]

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Duran Duran: "Hungry Like the Wolf"
1982
Directed by Russell Mulcahy
Can be found on Duran Duran: The Greatest DVD



Aka Indiana LeBon and the Bizarre Mating Ritual. "Hungry Like the Wolf" gets a lot of credit for pushing music videos in a cinematic direction, but in retrospect it's largely mimicry: beyond LeBon's casbah table-flipping Harrison Ford impression, he does Martin Sheen's rise out of the muck and a little Aguirre, Wrath of God raft-riding. It still doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and sets off a few mild racism alarms, but Duran Duran's safari did at least liberate us from the empire of the performance video. [Rob Mitchum]

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Electric Six: "Danger! High Voltage!"
2002
Directed by Tom Kuntz and Mike Maguire
Can be found on Fire UK CD+DVD



Initially, this video seems a little restrained for a song that's so over the top. Dick Valentine and "Jack White" pretty much just sit there and look stiff. Then it becomes painfully clear why they're sitting that way. Still, the clip's funniest moment is courtesy of the moose's electrified nethers. [Stephen M. Deusner]


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Electric Light Orchestra: "All Over the World"
1980
Directed by Robert Greenwald



Remember when we danced all night, make-up on our faces, the future in our rear-views, and love always closer than it appeared? Can you still feel the magic and lightning bolts and the tiger tees? I tell you, it was better than Broadway. We had it all, and the night was forever young, hot and electric. The only thing I didn't understand was why everyone kept pushing the disco fashions, and there seemed to be a disproportionately large number of Australian people there, but overall, man, great, great stuff. [Dominique Leone]

 

 

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Elton John: "This Train Don't Stop There Anymore"
2002
Directed by David LaChapelle
Can be found on This Train Don't Stop There Anymore import CD single



Sir Elton gets all misty and reflective about his life, and luckily enough it's David LaChapelle-- of all people-- who wraps some wit around it. Justin Timberlake plays 1970s-heyday Elton, Paul Reubens plays his manager, and just check out the sly details: Pee-Wee has another run-in with the police, and then Elton opens the door of the party room and it's snowing in there. [Nitsuh Abebe]

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The Eurythmics: "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)"
1983
Directed by Dave Stewart and Jon Roseman
Can be found on Eurythmics: Sweet Dreams Video Album DVD



The Eurythmics must have been the smartest people in the world, what with their PC-video projector plug-ins 15 years ahead of their time, and the steely resolve to sing when the whole world was clearly falling down before their eyes. You can also tell that Annie Lennox is smart because she's wearing a tux, and keeps giving me that "I'm smarter than you" look. Ok, I need to look away now. [Dominique Leone]

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The Fiery Furnaces: "Tropical Iceland"
2004
Directed by Type2Error



Children's TV and indie rock videos share one common trait: they look cheap. The Friedberger siblings pretend to frolic in the washed-out, badly drawn winter scenes of a pop-up book. But someone needs to yank harder on Matt and Eleanor's tabs: they're as stiff as cardboard, and their faces hide deep embarrassment, like they're hoping that if they don't acknowledge the budget wonderland they've dropped into, maybe it'll go away. [Chris Dahlen]

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Frankie Goes to Hollywood: "Relax"
1983
Directed by Bernard Rose
Can be found on Hard On DVD



Forget the scarf-clad Holly Johnson's flashlight demonstration, the clip we Americans were stuck with. Go straight for the banned Tom of Finland dream come to life. Caligula! Full frontal and no girls aloud! Gallons of bodily fluids! This is what happened back then when yuppies in suits found themselves wandering down the wrong alley. [Mark Richardson]

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Freeway: "What We Do"
2002
Directed by Nzingha Stewart



Two big moments here in what is the ultimate anti-Hype Williams production. First, it's amazing to see Jay lean into Free's ear and mutter "Keep goin'" as the best beard in rap barrels through what feels like 300 bars of furious vérité. Second, the literal piano alone on the dock after Jay declares "And I move keys, you can call me the piano mayne." The Roc's visual pedantry was unparalleled. [Sean Fennessey]

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Ghostface Killah: "Cherchez La Ghost"
2000
Directed by Little X



It's like Ghost'n'co. knew 1999 was the end of the party-- and not just 'cause "Cherchez La Ghost" begins at the end of a party (thrown in a hotel's Presidential Suite, with Ghost decked out in a red, white & blue robe, I might add). The rhythm is subdued to the point of ominous, Goldie's voice has a tinge of melancholy or dread, and as it progresses into his verse, the people lying on the ground from the party wake up for post-soiree breakfast buffet, like they gotta keep it going 'cause who knows when they'll again get a chance to get down like this? Then the millennium happened, and everything went to shit. [Julianne Shepherd]

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The Go-Go's: "Our Lips Are Sealed"
1981
Directed by David Burbidge



As storyboards for girl-group videos go, "Cruise L.A. in convertible, drive to lingerie shop, pick up some swimwear, frolic in pool" seems pretty typical, but the baggy Esther Williams one-pieces are pure Go-Go's. [Mark Richardson]

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Grace Jones: "Libertango (I've Seen That Face Before)"
1978
Directed by Jean-Paul Goude
Can be found on A One Man Show DVD



Strange indeed. It's funny that people think Naomi Campbell is intimidating because she throws a cellphone at her housekeeper or whatever. Grace Jones will shrink your soul with a glance, and in this video, it's just you and her, face to face, for a very uncomfortable four minutes. [Peter Macia]

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The Greg Kihn Band: "Jeopardy"
1983
Directed by Joe Dea



Kihn this be the proto-"Thriller"? It showed up a few months before and it has zombies, surrealism, and clumsy but still kihnda disturbing gore-- what the fuck is that tube of flesh kihnecting Kihn's parents? And then you kihn almost see the light bulb going off over Weird Al's head when first chorus kicks in. [Mark Richardson]

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Heltah Skeltah: "Operation Lockdown"
1996
Directed by Dru Ha
Can be found on Boot Camp Click: Under Surveilence DVD



Ruck and Rock, outfitted in Native American attire and face paint, preen, rollick and chant 'round a campfire in a teepee. In Brooklyn. Smoke enough trees and this is what you see when your head hits the pillow. [Sean Fennessey]

 

 

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Herbie Hancock: "Rockit"
1983
Directed by Godley & Créme
Can be found on Herbie Hancock & the Rockit Band VHS



In the future, every home will be full of half-constructed robots dancing to the least challenging keyboard part Hancock ever played. [Joe Tangari]

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Ice Cube: "It Was a Good Day"
1993
Directed by F. Gary Gray
Can be found on Ice Cube: The Videos, Vol. 1 DVD



Before Friday (and way before Are We There Yet?), this video had us all believing Cube was some kind of unfuckwithable 'banger-prophet. As blasé as it was, by the time it hit screens, indelible footage of the L.A. riots had been played to maximum effect. For all his aggressive baiting on previous albums and videos, it was Cube's cold shoulder that hit hardest. [Peter Macia]

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The Jacksons: "Can You Feel It?"
1981
Directed by Bruce Gowers



Pre-MTV video genius Bruce Gowers hired F/X don Robert Abel to work on this clip for the Jacksons' big comeback. CGI pioneer Abel-- a key contributor to 2001: A Space Odyssey and Tron-- went bananas. Apparently, the Jacksons were so into the idea of themselves as gargantuan cosmic messiahs that they agreed to let the song be nearly inaudible for long stretches of the video. [Peter Macia]

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Jason Forrest: "War Photographer"
2005
Directed by Joel Trussell



The skimpy budgets of artists with no chance at MTV airplay have been a windfall for DIY animators, who are granted free reign to whip up a hopefully viral video without having to deal with actual people. Joel Trussel achieved high communicability with this cartoon, which resembles a lost outtake from Yellow Submarine. Just like Forrest with his music, Trussel throws everything indisputably awesome-- Vikings, roadies, robots, guitar battles, marching bands, Polaroids-- into four minutes, and the simple pleasure of image/sound synchrony does the rest. [Rob Mitchum]

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Jay-Z: "Big Pimpin'"
2000
Directed by Hype Williams
Can be found on Hype Williams: The Videos, Vol. 1 DVD



Milk-boxed in white and oozing objectification's unmistakable pus, "Big Pimpin'" had the yacht, the Cristal, the bikinis, and the swagger, setting the stage for thousands of copycats. The one thing-- the only thing, really-- the imitators will never have: The Dame Dash Dance. [Sean Fennessey]

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Journey: "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)"
1983
Directed by Tom Buckholtz
Can be found on Journey: Greatest Hits DVD 1978-1997: Music Videos & Live Performances DVD



The guys playing air keys had to be in on the joke, but Steve Perry looks like he's auditioning for On the Waterfront. [Mark Richardson]

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Junior Senior: "Move Your Feet"
2003
Directed by Shynola
Can be found on D-D-Don't Don't Stop the Beat enhanced CD



Few remember the electricity in the air circa-1983 as Colecovision quietly usurped both the Atari 2600 and Intellivision. This was pre-NES you understand, and the video game community wasn't used to graphics that a) Were comparable with stand up arcades, or b) Used more than 12 colors. Coleco came along and gave us the world's first real arcade experience at home with their version of "Donkey Kong", and game consoles entered into an arms race that continues to this day. Let's join Junior Senior and salute the spirit of hard won, marginal improvement in pixel-based graphics. Bonus points for squirrels. [Dominique Leone]

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Juvenile: "Ha"
1999
Directed by Marc Klasfeld
Can be found on Uncovered DVD

If you took any one of the split-second shots from the "Ha" video and elaborated on it for 90 minutes, you'd probably win a couple of prizes at Sundance. Juvenile's first national single was a Southern-rap nugget so dense and garbled that it sounded practically alien to Northern ears. But the video situated everything in a specific place, the Magnolia housing projects in uptown New Orleans, and then set about defining that place through a series of disconnected images: Little kids jumping on a soiled mattress, an above-ground cemetery fallen into disrepair, a family sitting on the porch of a boarded-up house. And then there are the incredibly young rappers themselves, showing off platinum medallions and bright-yellow corvettes right in the middle of all this telegenic squalor, their expensive toys serving as visual fuck-you's to the abject poverty that still surrounded them. [Tom Breihan]

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Kate Bush: "Wuthering Heights"
1978
Directed by Kate Bush
Can be found on The Ultimate Video Collection: 1978-2005 DVD



If you can watch this and not love Kate Bush, your heart is as cold as the ice she should be skating on. The window is always open, Kate. [Mark Richardson]

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Kidz Bop: "Since U Been Gone"
2005
Directed by Wormseye Films
Can be found on Kidz Bop: The Videos DVD



At the 2:37 mark is the greatest moment in the history of music videos. [Peter Macia]

 

 

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KMD: "Peachfuzz"
1991

Let the record show that MF Doom-- sans mask, but with a nose ring-- was on his bicycle-riding -toward -the -camera game before Pharrell was wearing short pants. And please recognize MC Serch's commitment with regard to having buzzed the letters KMD into his fade. [Sean Fennessey]

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Kraftwerk: "The Robots"
1978
Directed by Bill Plympton



Five-o'clock shadow be damned. Kraftwerk: Robots. Electric tie and a behind-the-music look at how the mechanical magic happened. Kraftwerk: Robots. And even if video production in 1978 hadn't caught up with the band's vision, and even when they could've used slo-mo photography, they preferred just to move slowly, and even though no one ever seems to get how funny these guys were: Kraftwerk: Robots. No, really: KRAFTWERK: ROBOTS. [Dominique Leone]

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Lionel Richie: "Hello"
1984
Directed by Bob Giraldi
Can be found on The Collection DVD



Often imitated but never surpassed, this thing could be the Plan 9 From Outer Space of music videos. Every time Richie mimes "hello" like it's the most sincere hello ever offered in the history of hellos. When he gazes longingly at his blind student with those cradle-robbing eyes, I get that feeling of enjoyment that one can only get from watching quality crap like a straight-to-Sci-Fi-Channel thriller about Frankenfish. True confession: I know a dude that tried to pitch some woo by quoting this song in a card left outside a girl's door with a bouquet. Alas, dude's love was not reciprocated. [David Raposa]

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Ludacris: "Southern Hospitality"
2001
Directed by Jeremy Rall



"Southern Hospitality" does its best to fuse the two dominant genres of rap video: money-porn escapism (video-chicks dancing) and grainy naturalism (busted-ass old ladies dancing). It's goofy and clumsy and generally pretty inessential. The video is on this list for one reason: The firecracker charisma of a pre-ubiquity Ludacris.

Luda is all foulmouthed charm and cocky swagger, like a 12-year-old who just learned how to cuss. Best scene that makes no sense at all: Two overzealous groupies chase Luda in front of a Def Jam promotional truck, which means he has to rap the next verse suspended over the sidewalk, his cornrows now a blown-out fro, an upside-down airbrushed Redman on his shirt. [Tom Breihan]

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M.I.A.: "Galang"
2004
Directed by Ruben Fleischer
Can be found on Galang '05 CD single



The tanks, bombs, and tigers in this video are vibrant graffiti animations that play dutiful background to the universal sex and strut of tomorrow's pop star. Even as plumes of smoke burst behind her, M.I.A. is unfazed-- too busy gyrating. And let's talk about her moves for a second. You put anybody else in those clothes and make them hop up and down like a goose that just stepped on a tack and best-case scenario is five-minute YouTube celebrity status. That's why she's working with Missy and you're, um, not. [Ryan Dombal]

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M83: "Don't Save Us From the Flames"
2005
Directed by Matthew Frost



Details count and helmer Matthew Frost absolutely nails the details in this stunning teen melodrama that grounds M83's outer space opera amidst waifish outcasts, soccer bitches and-- most effectively-- a tiny dog in a wheelchair. Though impaired, the dog seems happy-- blissful, even-- as he greets his dejected (outcast) master, tongue hanging out just so. It's a small, sneaky moment that injects this docu-dream with even more bittersweet reality. [Ryan Dombal]

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Madonna: "Material Girl"
1985
Directed by Mary Lambert
Can be found on The Immaculate Collection DVD



She's one of those girls that casually ignores you, who brushes off your greatest accomplishments and wittiest remarks by wondering aloud if she should stop buying the expensive cat food. But dear Jesus is she hot. Other girls you know never understand how you can put up with her, how girls like her get so much attention, how they're such a slap in the face to the women's...Man, she is so hot in that dress. Oh, don't let me forget to pick up the dry cleaning this afternoon. [Dominique Leone]

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Madvillain: "All Caps"
2003
Directed by James Reitano
Can be found on Stones Throw 101 DVD



Madvillain take a cue from Hollywood's comic book film craze, topping this adventure off with "Sabotage"-style 70s retro musk. Like finding a stack of dusty Marvels in your grandmother's attic, "All Caps" parlays the comic aesthetic better than showbiz bombs like The Hulk and Daredevil-- and with a much more engaging plot to boot. [Adam Moerder]

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Missy Elliott: "Gossip Folks"
2002
Directed by Dave Meyers
Can be found on Under Construction Japanese import CD



I like the fact that, no matter how much poundage Missy drops, she still is almost nun-like in her full-body-coverage tracksuits, proving she was losing weight for her health rather than her general sex appeal. At any rate, the choreography in this video is radioactive, and Missy's official choreographer Hi-Hat-- inventor of Jay-Z's now-classic "Brush Yr Shoulders Off" dance-- won an award for "Gossip Folks" at the 2003 American Choreography Awards, because she abstractly applied the kid-game "telephone" and hallway note-passing/dissing to all sorts of non-intuitive 45-degree angles. Also featuring the flyest eight-year-olds ever to pop a shoulda, and Ludacris as PIMPciple. [Julianne Shepherd]

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Musical Youth: "Pass the Dutchie"
1982
Directed by Don Letts



The speakers they hoist onto the platform are what I always thought of when reading about King Tubby's endlessly tweaked and godlike sound system. A 20" cone, maybe? And then the squirt's guitar has to be the smallest electric made. But watch him during the performance footage-- every 1-3 chord-hit in its right place. [Mark Richardson]

 

 

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My Bloody Valentine: "To Here Knows When"
1991
Directed by Angus Cameron
Can be found on The Creation Records Compilation: Volume 2 DVD



No-brainer time! Layers of swirling, cascading, blissed-out white noise are best represented by layers of swirling, cascading, blissed-out imagery. Crazy, I know. [Matthew Solarski]

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My Chemical Romance: "Helena"
2005
Directed by Marc Webb
Can be found on Life on the Murder Scene DVD



Ever since emo-punk became enough of a market force to justify the making of videos, there's been an emotional arms race going on, as band after band competes to see who can fire-hose the most melodrama into their short film. This battle was effectively ended by "Helena", wherein My Chemical Romance stages the ultimate goth/emo epic: cathedral funeral setting, Busby Berkeley dance numbers (complete with overhead shots!), ballerina corpse, uniformly black-clad congregation, vaguely fascistic imagery. All to say: my pain is bigger than your pain, dig it. [Rob Mitchum]

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Nas: "One Mic"
2002
Directed by Chris Robinson
Can be found on Video Anthology, Vol. 1 DVD



EXISTENTIAL DILEMMA: Nas' appeal to speaking over the streets, dir. Chris Robinson gives us a emotional eye view into the emcee's brain and his adrenal glands, too-- emotional isolation inextricable from sweat of the streets. Dig the parallel 'tween Nas' lyrics and images-- "a fiend drops his Heineken," it smashes to the ground and you're like "wuh"-- from hood politics to African unrest, and what's left? The bleakest line of any rap ever: "Hope your funeral never gets shot up." Word is bond, Nas raps to live, and Cutty got out The Game for good. [Julianne Shepherd]

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Ol' Dirty Bastard: "Got Your Money"
1999
Directed by Nzingha Stewart, Hype Williams, Scott Kalvert and D'Urville Martin
Can be found on The Definitive Ol' Dirty Bastard Story CD/bonus DVD

 

Wherein an all-star crew of rap-video directors gets its What's Up, Tiger Lily? on, christening Dirty's late-career unhinged cartoon-pimp persona by cutting up the blaxploitation canon and forcibly inserting the man into as many clips as possible. Nobody ever made better fun of ODB than ODB himself, and the shots at the end of him dancing in full "What's Happening?" regalia are priceless. [Tom Breihan]

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Outkast: "B.O.B."
2000
Directed by David Meyers
Can be found on The Videos DVD



Andre 3000 might go on to become the biggest star in Hollywood, but the defining image of him will always be the one of him running away from a horde of overcaffienated fourth-graders over a field of purple grass, sort of like Will Smith getting spun around by a West Philadelphia playground thug. That part ends a minute and a half into the video, and the rest is circa 2000 utopian rap-video shit (Big Boi rapping on a bus full of video chicks, a Cadillac lowrider reversing out of a moving truck like it was Spy Hunter, the climactic barn-party throwdown), but none of it can hope to match the adrenaline surge of that opening chase. [Tom Breihan]

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Ozzy Osbourne: "Bark at the Moon"
1983
Directed by Mike Mansfield



Ozzy may have been the bullseye in the PMRC's target in the 1980s, but in retrospect they had it all wrong. The very idea that this confounding Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Werewolf story could've ever been taken seriously is far more frightening than biting the head off a bat. [Cory D. Byrom]

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Pat Benatar: "Love Is a Battlefield"
1983
Directed by Bob Giraldi
Can be found on Choice Cuts: The Complete Video Collection DVD



How to fight off your abusive pimp the Pat Benatar way: Get all your girlfriends behind you in their ragdresses and shake your boobies at him. [Stephen M. Deusner]

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Pavement: "Shady Lane"
1997
Directed by Spike Jonze
Can be found on Slow Century DVD



Stephen Malkmus was never as foxy as when he had no head. [David Raposa]

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The Pipettes: "Your Kisses Are Wasted on Me"
2006
Directed by Benchmark Productions



When I first watched this concert clip, I wasn't feeling the whole "in the crowd" filming technique; just let me see the Pipettes do their synchronized gestures in their signature polka-dotted dresses-- not the back of some guy's head. But after the initial annoyance wore off I realized that almost every member of the (albeit small) audience was mimicking every Pipette point and hip twitch exactly, giving this low budget video a charming two-way authenticity that helps to advance the group's 1960s schtick past trivial novelty. [Ryan Dombal]

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The Postal Service: "We Will Become Silhouettes"
2005
Directed by Jared Hess
Can be found on Sub Pop's Acquired Taste DVD



Scenes of post-apocalyptic domestic bliss and loving close-ups of 1980s appliances can't distract from the fact that Ben Gibbard makes the best frumpy suburban Dad since Chevy Chase-- the way he hands the cookie to his kid halfway through is like a 1985 Father of the Year poster. If only the video ended with him punching a moose and taking John Candy hostage. [Rob Mitchum]

 

 

<!--pagebreak-->Prince: "1999"
1982
Directed by Bruce Gowers
Can be found on The Hits Collection DVD

 

This was the first Prince video to really showcase what he was all about, performance-wise, even if the song only really took off with a re-release after "Little Red Corvette" established him as the biggest thing since oxygen. Exactly what you would expect: neon, keyboards, quasi-lesbianism, poofy hair, poofier shirts, lotsa purple, flash bulbs, dry ice, pencil moustaches. Everyone was, understandably, wigged out about nuclear war in the early 1980s; the best artists made that paranoia danceable. [Jess Harvell]

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The Prodigy: "Out of Space"
1992
Directed by Russel Curtis
Can be found on Their Law: The Singles 1990-2005 DVD



Back when Prodigy songs were collections of rapid-fire funny noises-- and before Keith Flint and Maxim Reality transmogrified into topiary-coifed British bulldogs-- no one quite knew what to do with a rave video. You could bring in a model to sing the sampled diva hook. Or you could make some really cheap-looking computer animations. Or you could film a bunch of guys dancing like imbeciles in front of a power station, cut with shots of ostriches and spaceships. [Jess Harvell]

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Public Enemy: "Night of the Living Baseheads"
1988
Directed by Lionel C. Martin



Anyone who thought Chuck D did all the heavy lifting for Public Enemy obviously never saw Flav's clock in this video. High concept and low concept at the same time, it makes me wonder what the world might be like if PE TV had become a reality. [Joe Tangari]

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Pulp: "Bad Cover Version"
2002
Directed by Jarvis Cocker and Martin Wallace
Can be found on Hits DVD



This is like "How many triangles are in this figure?", except it's a music video, and we're looking for layers of parody. Pulp parodies titular metaphor by recording bad cover version of own song, parodies the charity single, parodies various musicians, parodies bad celebrity impersonations. Jarvis Cocker parodies self. Kurt Cobain's ashes roll over in urn. And that's pretty much where we lose count. Ah well, it's still funnier than that "Do They Know It's Halloween?" shit. [Matthew Solarski]

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R. Kelly: "Trapped in the Closet"
2005
Directed by R. Kelly and Jim Swaffield
Can be found on Trapped in the Closet DVD



Even if it remains unfinished, R. Kelly's 12-part inadvertent surrealist masterpiece "Trapped in the Closet" stands as the most bizarre (and bizarrely ambitious) pop musical feat of the 2000s so far. Almost everyone knows the story by now, and if you don't, I'm certainly not going to ruin it for you. Watching the director's commentary on the DVD, you get the feeling that Kelly discovered the word "cliffhanger" in the dictionary one day and suddenly knew what he had to do. The virtuoso (and, well, frankly insane) live performance on the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards of the still-unreleased Chapter 6.5 is icing on the cake. [Jess Harvell]

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Radiohead: "Just"
1995
Directed by Jamie Thraves
Can be found on 7 Television Commercials DVD



Radiohead have a history of incorporating great narrative plots into their videos, but "Just" might be the most bizarre. What could the man on the street possibly have said? Of course the band isn't telling. However, after hours of research, I'm pretty sure I've got it: "If you lay right here, you can see Radiohead playing in that apartment up there." [Cory D. Byrom]

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The Replacements: "Bastards of Young"
1986
Directed by the Replacements



This is an anti-video-- a stirring argument that MTV, the chief outlet for this clip, had made listening to music a passive pastime. Sitting around with the stereo on was just as boring as watching someone else sit around with the stereo on. Active listening means kicking in the speakers. [Stephen M. Deusner]

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The Roots: "What They Do"
1996
Directed by Charles Stone III



Effectively taking the piss out of every rap vid standard, the Roots made thoughtful fans feel good about themselves with the satire of "What They Do". Years later, this feels a bit arrogant but still accurate. [Sean Fennessey]

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Röyksopp: "Remind Me"
2002
Directed by H5



A hyper-slick homage to the diagrams, graphs, Figure A's, Appendix C's, cut-aways, flowcharts, tickers, safety-guides, Mercator projections, and systems maps that govern our pin-point predictable, chartable, diagrammable modern lives. But what you're really wondering is, do the markets indeed fluctuate in time with the Röykie's irresistible beats, and can this somehow be my senior thesis? [Matthew Solarski]

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Sigue Sigue Sputnik: "Love Missile F1-11"
1986



Sigue Sigue Sputnik dressed like anime characters come to life, and conflated nuclear doomsday and the red rocket of sex like no one since Frankie Goes to Hollywood. "Love Missile F1-11" is like a panto version of the Young Gods a few years before the fact: sampled classical bombast, explosions, metal guitar, crazed synths, drums drenched in reverb, and the most over-the-top presentation imaginable. The video is a riot of camp violence, hair metal excess, and Blade Runner dystopia redrawn in Crayola. Anyone who laments the fact that the film version of Neuromancer languishes in development hell can content themselves with this 3:45. [Jess Harvell]

 

 

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Sigur Rós: "Untitled #1"
2005
Directed by Floria Sigismondi



It's all fun and games until the elephant gas mask pops off and your elementary school classmate is left lifeless upon a sea of black ash and dead birds. Whereas most Sigur Rós videos are happy showcasing slow motion children (or slow motion old people acting like children) jumping off a cliff or sitting on a dock, director Floria Sigismondi sticks with the slo mo kids but relocates to a post-apocalyptic dusk. It's the only video to date that captures both the soaring euphoria and wilting comedowns of Sigur Rós's music in equal measure. Majestic horror at its finest. [Ryan Dombal]

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Sinead O'Connor: "Nothing Compares 2 U"
1990
Directed by John Maybury



The "SNL" Pope incident. The reggae album. The alleged lesbianism. The "All Apologies" cover. The beef with Frank Sinatra. The fact that this song was written by Prince.

None of it matters when that tear rolls down her face. [Amy Phillips]

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The Smiths: "Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before"
1987
Directed by Tim Broad
Can be found on The Smiths: The Complete Picture DVD



This is basically a three-and-a-half-minute guide on how to be a Morrissey fan. You get all the major pieces of Smiths-era iconography (Strangeways, Oscar Wilde), plus a primer on the proper choice of glasses, blazers, bicycles, denim jackets, and haircuts. Will prove strangely exotic to American fans who've only previously heard of "Whalley Range" in the song "Miserable Lie". Plus it pairs with the video for "Tomorrow" as a demonstration of the man's uncanny power to turn other people into Morrissettes. [Nitsuh Abebe]

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Snoop Doggy Dogg: "Gin & Juice"
1994
Directed by Dr. Dre



What kind of asshole answers the phone in the middle of sex? Anyway, Pete Macia made up a term for dudes on bikes chillaxing on a porch in L.A., where he lives, and that term is "hang-bangin." I think these guys are hang-bangin, until they are actually gang-bangin. I also think it's fucking stupid that MTV censors the term "endo." [Julianne Shepherd]

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Sonic Youth: "Dirty Boots"
1991
Directed by Tamra Davis
Can be found on Sonic Youth: Corporate Ghost-- The Videos 1990-2002 DVD



My ultimate fantasy at the age of 14: Meeting my soulmate in the mosh pit at a Sonic Youth show and making out with him on stage, right behind Kim Gordon. Ah, who am I kidding? That's still my ultimate fantasy. [Amy Phillips]

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Sting: "Brand New Day"
1999
Directed by Jan Houllevigue



Behold the future of Chris Martin. [Peter Macia]

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Superwolf: "I Gave You"
2005
Directed by Mike Piscitelli



Will Oldham has done more for the beard than anyone since Ulysses S. Grant. [Joe Tangari]

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Talking Heads: "Once in a Lifetime"
1981
Directed by Toni Basil and David Byrne
Can be found on Once in a Lifetime Boxset



You may tell yourself: "He's got some crazy dance moves." And you may ask yourself: "Toni Basil co-directed this?!"  [Joe Tangari]

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They Might Be Giants: "Ana Ng"
1989
Directed by Adam Bernstein
Can be found on Gigantic: A Tale of Two Johns DVD



Starring the Johns' teeth, this video matches They Might Be Giants' weird lyrics with equally weird visuals that eschew literality in favor of strange juxtapositions of Cold War ephemera that subtly shade the song with new meanings. The clip's most compelling feature, however, is its simplicity. Aside from the jittery play of text across the screen-- the only nod to special effects-- the clip is just two guys, a camera, and a cool set. And that's all you need. [Stephen M. Deusner]

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'Til Tuesday: "Voices Carry"
1985
Directed by D.J. Webster



I really wonder why the hell Aimee took so much shit from her yuppie-scum hunk and his condescending "how's yr hobby?" jag. I guess her thinking was: Why just dump the jerk after he pushes me around, buys me nice earrings, tries to manhandle my bass case, and makes me wear a wig while we're having sex when I can trick him into shelling out for an extra opera ticket and then totally embarrass him in front of the Carnegie Hall hoi polloi? Score one for the chick with the rat-tail! [David Raposa]

 

 

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Toni Basil: "Mickey"
1982
Directed by Toni Basil
Can be found on Word of Mouth DVD



The best things about this video are the thick legs and plain faces on the cheerleaders, especially the chubby one. This is what I remember cheerleaders actually looking like, and everyone, between walking six miles to school and back in waist-deep snow, was totally happy about it. This is practically riot grrrl. [Nitsuh Abebe]

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2Pac and Dr. Dre: "California Love"
1996
Directed by Hype Williams



Three minutes and 19 seconds into the "California Love" video, there's a shot of Tupac Shakur slapping hands with Dr. Dre and managing to look badass while doing a butt-dance. In that brief moment, Tupac transcended the video's cheesed-out concept and showed the raw, furious, defiant charisma that made him rap's messiah. But then, as cheesed-out video-concepts go, "California Love" is pretty much perfectly conceived and executed: California as post-apocalyptic dancefloor warzone, Mad Max's Thunderdome as future-club, Roger Troutman leaning coked-up out of a helicopter with a voicebox chord sticking out of his mouth, Dr. Dre in an eyepatch. Hype Williams has the decency to shoot this monstrosity in the same bleached-out grainy film stock as the movies he's parodying, and even Chris Tucker manages not to fuck this one up. "California Love" is the greatest rap video ever made. [Tom Breihan]

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Twisted Sister: "We're Not Gonna Take It"
1984
Directed by Marty Callner



The debate rages: Which of Mark Metcalf's opening monologues is superior, "We're Not Gonna Take It" or "I Wanna Rock"? It's close, but this one takes it. You can get a precise read on his intensity by measuring the amount of saliva produced during the percussive syllables. The drool as he emphasizes "Twisted Sister pin" and "guitar" noses out by a couple of cc's. [Mark Richardson]

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Van Halen: "Hot for Teacher"
1984
Directed by Pete Angelus and David Lee Roth
Can be found on Van Halen: Video Hits, Vol. 1 DVD



Three money shots:

1. Eddie grinning and walking on the table in the library during his solo.
2. The first scantily clad teacher's entrance in that shimmering blue number, synced perfectly with the guitar's upswing.
3. David Lee Roth's disco ball split whilst the rest of the boys eff up the choreography. [Sean Fennessey]

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Village People: "Sex Over the Phone"
1985
Can be found on Village People: Video Collection DVD



Sometimes when I'm bored, I like to think about where the women in this video are today. Are they mothers? Grandmothers? Are they married? Divorced? Widowed? Do they vote Republican? Do they watch "Oprah"? Do they have breast cancer? Heart disease?

But it always comes down to the same two perplexing questions:

Do they ever think about the day when somebody asked them to be in the video for a song called "Sex Over the Phone" by the Village People (in 1985 no less!), and they said yes?

Is it really multiple women, or just one woman wearing different wigs? [Amy Phillips]

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Vitalic: "Poney (Pt. 1)"
2006
Directed by Pleix



Still waiting for the cat prequel. [Ryan Dombal]

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The White Stripes: "My Doorbell"
2005
Directed by the Malloys



Like Wu-Tang, the White Stripes are for the children. [Amy Phillips]

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Wu-Tang Clan: "Triumph"
1997
Directed by Brett Ratner
Can be found on the Legend of the Wu-Tang: The Videos DVD



Even if he makes five more shit X-Men spin-offs and a dozen additional Rush Hour sequels starring Mike Epps and Mr. Miyagi's frozen corpse, Brett Ratner will always have "Triumph". Clocking in at over six minutes, the video for one of the Wu's rawest anti-hook tracks boasts more special-effects shots than the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy.

It must have cost millions. It would never get made today. And that's a shame. There are few greater joys than watching the guys get green screen gully in a beehive that looks eerie similar to several "Mortal Kombat" levels. The star is U-God, who raps like he means it while hanging from a branch in a burning hell forest. Don't wave at him. [Ryan Dombal]

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Yo La Tengo: "Sugarcube"
1997
Directed by Phil Morrison



My favorite video. The sight of the band vainly attempting to destroy a fake hotel room is burned into the part of my brain that triggers laughter. [Joe Tangari]

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ZZ Top: "Legs"
1984
Directed by Tim Newman
Can be found on ZZ Top: Greatest Hits - The Video Collection DVD



"The Incredible Hulk", My Bodyguard, The Karate Kid: The 80s was a classic decade for underdog nerds getting picked on and coming back to have the last laugh. ZZ Top were patron saints of these guys: perpetually stepped on and laughed at, but at the end of the day, the only ones with the golden double-Zs on their keychains. I like to think of the band as boogie-blues-playing Santa Clauses, appearing around the world (with a special concentration in random one-horse Texas towns) to give the gifts of revenge and really hot girls to loveable losers everywhere. Nevermind that a lot of these people grew up to be Unabombers with inflated senses of entitlement; for one afternoon in 1983, justice prevailed. [Dominique Leone]