Second Life
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Second Life is a game for people whose first lives suck. It is an online virtual community where you interact with others via your avatar; these are invariably created according to a "wishful thinking" design scheme, and thus all of the women (80% of whom are said to be men behind their keyboards—the remaining twenty percent are of course fatties IRL) are big-eyed and wasp-waisted; all of the men (the number who are really dykes is yet to be closely studied) are athletic and acne-free. The only interesting thing that ever happened to Second Life is the "Interview with Floating Dongs" (scroll down) inflicted by clever scripters on a very wishful-thinking animation of a woman who made her fortune being pimped as a cyberwhore (probably by her IRL husband) and the nice reporting and publicity from that by Something Awful.
The only people who play SL are those too poor to afford World of Warcraft.
Second Life Society
Inevitably, Second Life has become a new haven for the furry community. Due to the game's versatile nature and the wide variety of virtual sex acts and interactive genitals available, the furfags have begun to flock to Second Life in increasingly large numbers. Many have even gone so far as to establish their own virtual furry sex enclaves.
A sizable Gorean community exists on Second Life. Some argue that this Gorean community is even worse than that of the furries. The Gorean idiots like to pretend it's the year 1600 or some bullshit like that, and take slutty prisoners and fuck them with their badly made interwebs cock, thus further spreading AIDS and attracting furries.
Goreans are, in actual fact, normal compared to furries. Let's face it; who wouldn't want a nubile slave girl to rape over and over again? Dog Penis, however, is not something to be played with.
Economy
Second Life users are encouraged to pay for in-game money, which they can then use to buy in-game goods. Second Life likes to promote this economy in the old media as being rich with items such as houses, nightclubs, designer clothes, and popular music.
Actually, the primary industry in Second Life is cock.
All Second Life avatars are built like Ken and Barbie by default, in that they are without any form of genitalia. To counter this, thriving cock and cunt industries have emerged. These cocks and cunts have been designed and programmed to act just like their real-life equivalents, with the exception that they always work but you have to fap at the same time to get a truly sad illusion.
Common features of Second Life cocks and cunts include:
- Erection or engorgement
- Pubic hair which appears or disappears on command
- Power Word: Piss
- Power Word: Cum
- Twitch on touch (Truly truly repugnant)
Most of Second Life's user base can be found outside the cock or cunt shops. Here they purchase and make use of the latest in penis or vulva technology. Most Second Lifers remain in a perpetual state of undress around these shops, many of them publicly engaging in cybersex. If you should find yourself wanting a cock or cunt, simply follow the trail of nude avatars and lols to the nearest penis or vulva store.
Things to Do
New users can marvel at all of the sights in Second Life. Colleges, nightclubs, cozy homes, clothing stores, and concerts are generally uninhabited. This keeps the lag down for the few people who might be interested in such things.
The other ninety-nine percent of users can be found habitually entering asl or outside new user portals, cock stores, and wacky gothic sex clubs.
Another feature is the ability to build just about anything you want out of one or more primitive shapes. The best use of this feature is to make a big immovable box and drop it on top of people at random. Bonus points if you use the scripting language to make it constantly play an annoying sound or fly off over the horizon with them still trapped inside. Another fun thing to do is create something that endlessly self-replicates until the servers grind to a halt trying to keep track of them all, kinda similar in operation to a forkbomb. Note that this could be a swift way to get your account permabanned.
Note that anything you can do, an automated script can do in your absence. Lots of automated scripts can do it a lot in your absence. Therefore creating a swarm of invisible objects that home in on the nearest person and spawn the grief of your choice on contact before heading on to the next sucker is an effective way to render an area completely unusable for all practical purposes without needing to crash any servers—and it's funnier because people will keep coming back no matter how many times they get hit.
Some areas are set up in such a way that anyone teleporting in via the map view gets redirected to a predetermined point, usually taking the form of a welcome area with "no guns allowed, STRICTLY ENFORCED" signs, avatar shops, and other such faggotry. Needless to say, you should leave giant boxes, particle spammers, loud annoying noises, automated pushguns or whatever else you have at hand in these locations whenever the opportunity presents itself. Bonus points if the area in question happens to be inaccessible without teleporting.
When you create an avatar, you are given a choice of dozens of pre-made last names, one of which is "Fapp". Needless to say, you should always choose this name.
Though, Second Life was built for social interaction not much occurs in the game, as most residents have to spend their time "camping". This is when a user has to sit in one spot for an hour so the land appears to be popular, in return the user will get a few linden dollars worth virtually nothing in real life and in game could buy the person a wonky penis.
How to Spam
- 1. Make New hotmail or 10minutemail.
- 2. Make new SL account.
- 3. http://wiki.patrioticnigras.org/wiki/
BALEETEDWebsite back up. - 4. Search for a "sandbox" ingame.
- 5. Make a box.
- 6. Make a script on the box with one of the spamming scripts from the above link.
- 7. Click on the box, hit "Take Copy".
- 8. Teleport to heavily populated Area.
- 9. Equip box on any body part.
- 10. ????
- 11. PROFIT!
- 12. .jpeg/.avi that shit for lulz.
Serious Business
Regular inhabitants of Second Life will treat it with the same degree of importance they place upon their real life, possibly a result of not having one in the first place, and will merrily report anything that inconveniences them in any way. As a result, the admins are completely overwhelmed with users whining about shit like somebody leaving an e-car parked on their e-lawn, thereby preventing said admins from being able to act if, for example, somebody were to repeatedly build Polaris missiles underneath groups of innocent bystanders and launch them fifty miles into the air.
Recently in UK news, a brother and sister divorced after the sister discovered her brother/husband, sleeping with an American woman with pink hair. This shows how srs the interwebs truly are
Lovers of Freedom on Second Life
Though Second Life is heavily populated by sexual deviants and woar criminals, there does exist a loose network of virtue-loving freedom fighters who conduct operations under the radar of the fascist, land-owning oligarchy and their furry-sympathizing foot soldiers. Operating out of a network of secret bases and under the auspices of a loosely-knit network of like-minded internet patriots, these brave insurgents live in a constant state of danger, as right-wing militias and secret police assets permeate the whole of Second Life. As such, a veil of secrecy is maintained at all times, and potential members may generally be required to undergo grueling questioning before joining one of the many cells. If you wish to join the resistance, please make contact one of the following mujaheddin operatives using SL's "search" option:
- ChairMan Fapp - Currently banned by fascist Linden mods for nothing more than documenting and photographing anti-furry raids (and also for driving the getaway hovercraft and supplying militants with moral and logistical support, enemy troop movements, rifles, banana phones, Kool-Aid Man suits, and server-crashing doomsday devices).
- Hoss Holgado - Currently banned for intolerance, indecency, harassment, embezzlement of over L$800 by filling out HippiePay surveys with false information, wearing Ku Klux Klan garb, sound spamming, racism, crashing regions with malicious scripts, and not being a furry.
The Department of Justice is a proud organization. The DoJ Agent's duty is to cut off the head of the snake of injustice and watch it writhe around in its own feces, blood, and mucus, making eccentric circles in the sand until it expires.
- The Patriotic Nigras - The creators of Fort Longcat, PN is a furry-resistance (resistance to furries, that is) organization spreading peace and lulz all over the Second Life world.
- W-Hat - a relatively large Something Awful-based group that may or may not still hate everything in Second Life, and codes furiously to fuck it up as much as possible. There are rumors in both directions, hotly debated by some. Most people don't care. They claim to not "grief" so therefore should be considered fail by default.
- Room 101 - another group that is solely dedicated to griefing, DEFINITELY NOT ASSOCIATED WITH THE W-HATS, NOT IN ANY WAY OR FORM!
- DiSSENTiON - A group of old users who kept their free accounts and are currently lulzing the crap out of Linden with hilarious code making users unable to change location or alter their avatar. Moar like denial of PENIS attack, amirite?
- Lustress Hax - is a closet Greifer/Second Life Mentor/Linden(?) who has been spotted hanging around the Dolcett kitchen. Despite her public hatred of all things sexually explicit, she can almost always be found in various sex sims. In the rare case said resident is not working the streets in some mature region, she can be found selling out exploits to Dan Linden. Speculation has been raised as to why Lustress Hax hasn't been banned for various greifing attacks. Little do her fellow mentors know that this devious /b/tard is actually one of the most disruptive residents on SL, responsible for getting huge numbers of n00bs v& and b&. When confronted she just says she does it for the Lulz, and science.
Heroes of Second Life
These are the many many faggots who add a little something to this seemingly piece of shit game. We plan this article being filled with nonsense about how "awesome" the "residents" truly are.
- Wilkonsin Carver - Self-proclaimed God, and super power, Wilkonsin Carver is the newest sensation to hit Second Life. He wears a box head with very simplistic, yet lulzy facial expressions. He typically refers to himself as the Furry Punisher, despite most of his friends actually being furries themselves. Wilk considers his reign on Second Life to be "yet to be seen", but tries his hardest to spread his word around the land, with the help of his fellow CreVologists.
- Butthole Magic - Holy shitting dick nipples is this asshole amazing. He's commonly seen with a puppet of Orpholutionsanotic R (the R stands for rape) on his right hand. He enjoys adventuring around SL using Stargates and filling the location he arrives at with giant DICKS. He is know for raping the Mercz as well as Revenant Grave's sister. He is also a loyal follower of CreVo.
Enemies of Freedom on Second Life
- Phlat Bartfeld is a creepy gorean who gets off on humping thirteen and a half year olds and can tricked into listing to almost any meme to do it.
- Plastic Duck -
Pioneering architect whose groundbreaking postmodernist buildings and performance art sadly did not did satisfy the tyrannical whims of the Lindens. Alas, after his stunning and expressive tribute to the victims of 9/11 Plastic Duck met the banhammer. Despite this, his spirit will live on in the dreams and hopes of creative Nigras forever.
Plastic Duck now works for Linden Labs. His job now includes helping them kill innocent black people, and give head job to furfags. DO NOT GO NEAR HIM OR TRUST AT ALL COSTS! !!!!is thar a source on this? If SLH says so, it must be true.
- Mike Mission is a fucking fascist who runs the "Calloway Club" in the region of Mowry, likes to report people for failing to heed his fascist whims, mangles the inherent beauty of the English language by deploying the infantile term "griefers" against those who refuse to submit to his faggotry, himself engages in activity that could be properly termed "griefing" according to his own moronic, child-like worldview, and is probably involved with Wikipedia in some form or another, because, seriously, he just fits the bill.
- Corsi Mousehold is a fat bitch furry and known nigger hater. It's also guilty of being a Furnation moderator.
- Anyone who owns property or commercial operations in SL must be assumed to be a bourgeois running-dog imperialist class enemy and a hater of nigras, as these users benefit most from the status quo, and are thus resistant to the inevitable collapse of the Linden dollar economy as new markets become rarer
and the capitalist-mercantile system crumbles with the onset of post-colonialism.HAHAHAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, MILITARY EXPANSION FUELS WAR INDUSTRY THUS OFFSETTING POST COLONIAL ECONOMIC IMPLOSION BUT EVENTUALLY LEADS TO OVEREXTENSION AND CULTURAL BACKLASH RESULTING IN A SLOW DECLINE PUNCTUATED BY BRIEF PERIODS OF EXPLOSIVE VIOLENCE.
- Furries, lol.
- Takkun Gray, BAWWW.
- intLibber Brautigan (http://intlib.blogspot.com/), who "is really damn busy". He's staunchly Libertarian. He likes freedom and the web 2.0, except for when the crazy internet kids go have their e-rave parties on his e-lawn. He's also the #1 member of the Patriotic Nigras fan club. Word on the street says he's this guy http://mikelorrey.com/, and currently using his impressive SAT and IQ (160!) scores to make irony shit bricks. Oddly, however, he seems to be supporting griefers recently. Change of heart? Is also a sick fuck. Intlib is also a devaout protestfag which adds 20+ to his kool points.
- Anshe Chung, a former cyberwhore who is now a land baron and very butthurt about an in-game incident where she was attacked by multiple flying penises. Actually an IRL man acting through his wife as a conduit for his twisted fantasies.
- Prokofy Neva, the suspected reincarnation of Ayn Rand. Has a personal vendetta against Plastic Duck. Writes furiously about Nigra activities and has a hissyfit if anyone disagrees with her. Likes to compare everything and everyone to Lenin.
- AtlWolf Blabbermouth is a known furry spy who was found to have reported dozens of resistance members, including several prominent leaders, to a fascist blacklist organization. His profile describes himself thusly: "Turn ons - filled out profiles! Not much of a RolePlayer. What you see is what you get. Usually in wolf form, sometimes a lion or werewolf. Gay, Male, flirty. Weakness for foxes, felines and of course wolves. Humans, furies and anthros are all good too." AtlWolf was discovered to be using several different accounts, all of which used the same first name, and one of which, AtlWolf Blackmun, had established itself as a member of several /b/-related organizations in order to monitor their proceedings. Luckily, he was eventually discovered and exposed as a furfag criminal. His organization, "BadWolf" is headquartered at "No Parcel, Maemilkkot (205, 198, 54)." His real name, hobbies, and geographical location were quickly obtained via super-secret magical black arts.
- Wolfstanus Blackmun is a secluded furry that has a fetish for Nazi Furs, and anything dealing with Rommel. Wolfstanus created an item known as the Choppa Box. When deployed in a sim, it was near impossible to catch, allowing many lulz. In an epic failure to retard faithful Patriotic Nigras from creating MOAR lulz, Second Life forced all it's Faggot Residents to recreate passwords and verify their existence in a fake world. During this time they took all Choppa Boxes from Wolfstanus. Anonymous got its hands on this object and created something known as Doomsday. This item allows the Choppa Box to create of itself, crashing sims easily. It is now a new arsenal for Patriotic Nigras, and Butthurt to any Furries that become targets of its awesome power. In response to the love the Nigras have for the object, Wolfstanus claims that he no longer cares. Known to some he reverts to being an emo Furfag and complains to everyone. Also claims to be a mythical being known as a Straight Furry.
- In the course of the same counter-intelligence operation, Shadowspawn Soothsayer was also discovered to be a furry infiltrator within many of the same freedom fighter organizations. His full name, address, business name, basic history, and interests were discovered by insurgent psy-ops agents within five minutes.
- The Justice League Unlimited, a bunch of fags that spend their time crying about being pwned by Nigras. They are all a bunch of fat old closet furfags that masturbate to comic books. They also like to Frame Nigras for their own grid-destroying attacks.
White Nationalists on Second Life
Hal Turner's buddies at the Vanguard News Network have sought to establish a white nationalist presence on Second Life, as noted here. VNN members initially proposed "beating up" nigras, spreading propaganda, hosting a virtual holocaust conference, and "posing as non-whites and attacking whites in an effort to polarize the population along racial lines and incite a virtual race war." Before they could follow through with their plans, they went into typical skinhead infighting about the effectiveness of such a move and quickly forgot about the original topic. As usual.
Other Factions
- The Autistic Liberation Front - "The Autistic Liberation Front is a group of activist autistic people ("Autistic" here means the whole autism spectrum, including also asspies, hugbox kids, and all other self-diagnosed furries currently classified as retards.) Discussion, workshops, conferences, a museum and library, as well as a place to hang out and fuck each other in Porcupine across from the mall Sponsored by the website autistics.org." In other words, a perfect collection of easy targets for the lazy troll. See darviela maravarona for more information.
- Sweden - Made an "embassy" in SL as a stupid publicity stunt.
- Poland - Followed Sweden's lead. Wow, your country is so high tech!
- The Second Life Liberation Army are a terrorist group who feels butthurt that Linden Labs doesn't pay attention to them anymore. They are waging a campaign of bombings against American Apparel and other obvious, boring targets.
People Who Play Second Life
Recent Changes
The fascist overlords of Second Life, known as Linden Labs, have required that all residents verify their age with a third party company. Most likely due to frequent loli that so often appears in Second Life's cock shops. Many residents are butthurt over the new decree, for it limits their ability to have buttsechs unless verified.
The blog states that any sim with a mature rating, and areas within it must flag their property as mature, meaning that all residents that have not given personal information to the Linden overlords, will not be allowed inside these areas. This fails miserably however, because of the simple fact that land owners must set the protection themselves, which they won't do because they don't want to limit the mature adults from accessing their sim and raising their traffic ranking. We have faith the PN will continue their trolling for the freedom of Second Life.
Second Life Officially Becomes Srs Bsns
Some furfag was accused by Linden Labs of gaining his land in Second Life through fraudulent means and thus got b& and had his land taken away. Since the potential damages were estimated in the tens or even dozens of dollars, this furfag baaaaaaawwwwwwwwed loudly and Linden Labs agreed to arbitrate his dispute and look into the matter, as was specified in the terms of service that every Second Life player has to agree to.
However, this was not enough for the furfag. He brought an internet lawsuit against Linden Labs in Federal Fucking District Court, claiming that the clause requiring players to arbitrate disputes with Linden Labs was void. The Judge, Eduardo Robreno, who was appointed by W's Dad, ruled that the clause was unconscionable and that it couldn't be used to force players to settle their disputes with Linden before bringing a lolsuit. This means that every furfag can now sue Linden Labs for every perceived slight, which is sure to result in a lot of lulz and drama. It is unknown whether Judge Robreno knew that people actually spend IRL money for customized dongs in addition to land on Second Life.
Read the tl;dr, boring decision here (in PDF format).
Getting started
- Don’t admit to having a real life, it’s an immediate ban.
- Just as in other areas of polite internet society, you will need a big virtual penis or boobs, gender respective.
- Do not feed the Furries after midnight (rape is OK).
- DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES tell people you have money or they'll be on you like a pack of wolves.
Gallery
| Second Life Gallery | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Videos
Anshe Chung Interview Incident PS: lol DMCA The Patriotic Nigras promo video. The Patriotic Nigras hard at work closing a sandbox. A faithful Patriotic Nigra single-handedly takes down a profane Goreon sim. lol, Concert owned by Logan Ruhn and Zewb. Another concert owned by Logan and Zewb. Second Life: The Movie April 17th 2008: "Statement of Intent" April 25th, 2008: "Declaration of War" |
|
Previous Video | Next Video |
Live Music
Some musicians are so untalented that they have to play in a virtual world just to get people to like them. Needless to say, hilarity always ensues when a griefer shows up and starts playing very loud screaming sounds. PROTIP: The following log is much more lulzy when you listen to the audio:
Gog Gremlin: Oww. Angelis Bisiani: /omg who is that? Renegade Stonewall: wtf is that? Cherry Conover: /dear lord P>Ease stop w the gestures stori Knopfli: omg my hearing is really gone now Multi Gadget v1.50.0 by Timeless Prototype Alexandra Daikon: / OMG WHAT IS THAT Haroldthe Burrel: / who's the fucking ignorant asshole Zermillion Paine: my ears is bleeding Gog Gremlin: It's NAMECENSOREDFORGREATJUSTICELOL EscoBAR Soderstrom: stuck in the middle whit u Cherry Conover: /interfeering with the music :( Tealkra Pankhurst: wtf You: it is NOT me Renegade Stonewall: stop that shit Chrysa Ferraris: That scared my cat Morse Dillon: muted. Lonnie Rockett: what a jerk Rosa Gardner: wb Merle You: and I find it racist that you just assume that it is me Salome Strangelove is glad she always has sounds turned off, apparently Merle Widget: Thanks Rosa, sounds like I missed the fun though. :( Wendy Curtiss: Hi Salome! Salome Strangelove: /hey Wendy Alexandra Daikon: / Salome i literally just jmped 10 feet in the air, and it scared the crap out of my roomie too Iliyana Carillon mmms and sighs EscoBAR Soderstrom: plz stop that Renegade Stonewall: bAN THAT GUY Elizabeth Antonelli: /*sigh Gail Glasgow: why is that bitch doing that Andrew86 Saenz: hey You: who the fuck is doing that shit stori Knopfli: my gosh Chrysa Ferraris: God cut that out!! Gail Glasgow: bitch or man witch Renegade Stonewall: kick that bastard out!!!!! Salome Strangelove: /folks, turn off your room sounds Alexandra Daikon: / SOUND EFFECTS TURNED OFF Lonnie Rockett: punk a-hole Alexandra Daikon: / jesus christ i just jumped again Andrew86 Saenz: wtf is going on lol Twome Rutledge: god!! Gail Glasgow: i can't even hear the music...what's up Chrissy Cordeaux ejected and banned you from this land.
Logs
Cuntwaffle walks into a random house and spies on some Gorean basement dwellers having fantasy secks.
(I enter the house to find a Gorean named Demonknight. Seconds later, Demonknight's slave enters.) Demonknight Apocalypse: ((would you mind getting you sir ?)) Demonknight Apocalypse: ((out)) You: sorry (I exit the house and go around back to listen.) Tears Fermi: .kneel
See also
- Online sex games
- The Adventures of Progman and Friends
- Fort Longcat
- Urizenus Sklar
- Patriotic Nigras
- Mircea_Kitsune
- Whirled
External Links
- Get A First Life
- "I wonder how much a penis costs?" A view from Real Life.
- "Please join our Group" Typical Advertising Bullshit
| Second Life is part of a series on Second Life 
|
People |
|---|
 |
Second Life is part of a series on Furfaggotry |
| Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
 |
Second Life is part of a series on Gaming. |
Second Life  |
Vampires • Humanoids • Reptiles • The Rest • See Also
Don Henrie
• Jonathon the Impaler
• Sanguinarius
|
