Swirl Face
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| —Christopher Paul Neil, from his baleted MySpace page. |
On October 7, 2007, CBS News's 60 Minutes Sunday included an interview in Geneva with Interpol Secretary General Ron Noble who made the libtard point that Interpol is supposedly underfunded because the U.S. doesn't want Iran and Cuba to access its intelligence. To emphasize the point of the supposed lack of funding, the program showed a swirled photographic portrait of a then unidentified Canadian serial child molester, that was swirled back by a colleague of Irish Interpol Internet detective Mick Moran (see transcript). After the 60 Minutes Sunday program, the news of the photograph spread to other news outlets, and Swirl Face was born.
Over many years, the gentleman pederast a.k.a Swirl Face had distributed via the internet over 300 photographs of himself having sexual congress with a number of boys as young as six years old in Vietnam and Cambodia. Swirl Face had assumed his IRL identity was safe as he had digitally obscured his face. Unfortunately, (for him at least) he demonstrated that his skillz at touching up 13 year old boys were better than his skillz in photoshop, foolishly using the "twirl" tool on the area around his face in the image (making it look something akin to a colorful asshole), instead of simply blurring or blacking it out the image. The police, using their keen deductive powers, twirled the photo in the opposite direction, and revealed this sick fuck's face to the world.
/b/ quickly discovered the lulzy before-and-after photos, and the legend of Swirl Face was born. Now it falls to anonymous to identify this weeaboo AZN-fetish motherfucker before he can strike again. LOL identified. ARRESTED!
Contents |
Swirly Facts
- Interpol maintains a database of 520,000 images of child sex abuse. brb, h4x0ring.
- 12chan has nothing on Interpol.
- Interpol chief Ronald Noble said: "We have tried all other means to identify and to bring him to justice." .......Then one of their kids told them how photoshop worked.
- Pro-tip from MS Paint Help: "To erase a large area: In the toolbox, click to select a rectangular area or click to select a free-form area. Drag the pointer to select the area you want to erase. On the Edit menu, click Clear Selection."
| —Another /b/tard |
October 19 Swirly Update - BUSTED!
Thanks to the publicity something like 350 snitches dropped a dime and his dox - the Swirly name, date of birth, passport number, and job have all been discovered. Swirl Face has been identified as Christopher Paul Neil, a Canadian English language teacher formerly employed in South Korea.
Expert boy toucher Neil is now busted! Herr Swirly was pwned today by a trace on the mobile phone of his 25-year-old Thai boyfriend, identified by transvestites in a seedy rural town called Pattaya. The Swirl-meister is now just that much closer to biting the pillow during his well-deserved and daily prison ass-poundings from Bubba.
Yahoo Questions - are you swirlface? plz die kthx
Docs
Name: Christopher Paul Neil of Maple Ridge, BC
Age: 32
Nationality: Canadian, Gay
Turn ons: Holding hands, long walks on the beach, buggery, teh cock, pedophilia, dogs, and playing the Sims.
Turn offs: Adult females, Fake people, body hair, bad breath, police dragnets and getting pwned by German computer geeks.
Current Loc: Thailand, in police custody, probably definitely shitting bricks
His MySpace - with poetry and a story about Korean dog-eating...BALETED, fucking faggot
Message board posts (using the handle "Peter Jackson"):
Swirl Face in teh Newz
Interview with Arresting Officer - LoL Subtitles
| —arresting officer (little dove rofl) |
Sentencing: August 15, 2008
A Thai court sentenced Swirlyman to three years in prison for sexually abusing a 13 year old boy. He still has MOAR trials to come for his numerous raeps of other victims, including the first boy's 9 year old brother. The court also imposed a fine of 60,000 Thai Baht (around $2,000) - bad touching is an expensive hobby.
Gallery of Swirl
 A very precise and succinct definition. |
 Can I Be Meme Now? |
 Christopher Paul Neil is the TOUCHINATOR |
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 MS Paint produces better Disguise |
 Herr Swirly - You Gonna Get Raped |
 Because the Government Can't just Swirl it the Other Way |
 Swirlmongler |
 Under-Rated MS PAINT |
 Moar Hiding |
 EPIC FAIL |
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 Also useful for Superhero shenanigans |
 Evolution of the Swirl |
 Separated at birth? Or a more likely explanation... |
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 Even swirling doesn't help a forced meme |
 A dark handsome stranger lol |
 Swirl Face passes the notability standard |
 Swirlface's deleted MySpace |
 MySpace Pic #1 |
 MySpace Pic #2 |
 BUSTED! lolz |
 Alleged cousin of Swirl Face |
 meta-meme |
 swirly's brother |
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 Interpol can unswirl shops now |
 ... but not all of them. |
 bitches can't unswirl either |
 Swirl Face in the wild |
 A Swirlentologist |
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Swirl Face is part of a series on Child Abuse. |
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