Kirby
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Kirby is a pink puff ball. He was first introduced to the mainstream in Super Smash Bros. to widen his popularity, as no one had ever fucking heard of him before. Most fans of Kirby nowadays consist of the elderly and Your Mom. It has been said that Kirby surpasses even Jigglypuff on some levels, however, this is just a rumor that has been lurking in places unknown to humanity.
Basically, Kirby is a pink, circular ball with red "shoes" at the bottom and stubby arms on the left and right sides of his body. Of course, swallowing melonz and gaining powers is his "trademark" along with red blushes on his face. He will eat everything in sight, no matter the size, much like a fatty but without the weight gain. He also has clones, too, which first started to appear in the remake for Kirby's Adventure and in Kirby and the Amazing Mirror. These "clones" come in 3 different colors: Red, Yellow, and Green. Often, these clones appear in multiplayer games and in Kirby and the Amazing Mirror as friends. However, the are fucking senseless and run around all over the place, so it's best not to bother them. They do appear in future games on the Nintendo DS.
| —Kirby |
Contents |
Creation
Some fuck at HAL. Labs and Nintendo (Most likely to be you.) was going to create the best Gameboy game ever. During the process, he needed a placeholder for his "soon-to-be" Wapanese sprite, so he simply drew a smiley face and used that. A few days later, he became attached to the fugly sprite, and finaly added arms and "shoes" to the thing.
He then made Kirby the main character of the Gameboy game. Then the other fuck at Nintendo wanted him to be yellow, while the creator wanted him to be pink. They had an agreement on pink after a gay ass Pokemon battle.
When the game Kirby's Dream Land was released in the United States of Americunt, they messed up big time making him white on the box art instead of pink in Wapan. However, this was not a problem since the Gameboy did not have any colors. Some people speculate that his name came from the vacuum company named Kirby, which would suit his fatty ways, however, this is not true due to the fact that the creator himself stated that it was from a fairytale.
He was pink in Kirby's Adventure and in future video games.
Games
Kirby's Dream Land: King Derderder steals all of the food because he is a fucking fatass. Kirby must swallow melonz and various items and go on a quest to find all of it. Graphics are worse than shit when compared to Pokemon Red & Blue. (Which were shit already.)
Kirby's Adventure: A favorite among the fanboys, Kirby's Adventure came out for the Nintendo Erection System. In this game, when Kirby inhales melonz of any kind, they give him magical powers that when used, create special effects that don't do shit. King Derderder is still up to his old tricks again, so he then steals the damn Star Rod and cuts his arm up into 7 pieces. At the end of the game, a plot twist unfolds and now you have to battle Nightmare to save everyone's wet dreams. Moar shit graphics but awesome music is awesome.
Kirby's Dream Land 2: Introduces the animal fuckers. They include: Rick, Kine, and one of which being you. Still, graphics are shit and the plot has not been changed except for the edit of King Derderder to Dark Matter and food to shit nobody cares about.
Kirby's Dream Land 3: This came out on the Super Nintendo Erection System, while everything is basically the same from the previous Dream Land video game, they throw in three new animal fuckers. They include: Nago the lolcat, a green bird, and a creature created using the ancient version of the Internet Hate Machine. Graphics are awesome for the console and awesome music is awesome again.
Kirby Super Star: Instead of creating another game, the geniuses over at Nintendo and HAL. Laboratory just created a bunch of shitty mini-games and stuffed them all into a Super Nintendo cartridge. These games are: Spring Breeze, The Arena, SOUND TEST, Milky Way Wishes, Revenge of Meta Knight, and The Great Cave Offensive. This game, along with Super Smash Bros., is responsible for another Youtube fad named Kirbyroll.
Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards: Kirby is now viewed in 3 dimensions, (Nintendo 64 achieved this, of course.) allowing users to see his circular body more clearly. Again like the previous Dream Land video game but with minor changes in plot/gameplay and 3D! OMG! This game also takes part in Nintendo's gimmick of putting "64" at the end of every title.
Every game after this is either a fucking remake or an easy piece of shit. Mostly appearing on the Nintendo DS or the Gameboy Advance.
Lately
Nowadays, Nintendo is milking every idea they've had in the past, (They have milked the Animu title screen for at least 100 years by now.) and creating cheap remakes on the newest handheld consoles available. Other than that, they make "new" games, which are even more short, and easy, and get medium to bad reviews. Mostly saying something related to: "A little on the easy side." Although, Kirby has since become famous across the tubes and has appeared in numerous fan/official games and movies, so I guess it's even.
We suggest that you should not buy these new games unless:
- You are under the age of 14
- You are unable to enjoy better, challenging games
- You have a lot of Lioncash to waste
See Also
External Links
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Kirby is part of a series on Gaming. |
