Pitchfork

When Woody Allen tried to tackle tabloid culture in Celebrity, he spectacularly fell on his face. But as many film scholars have pointed out, Woody Allen is not the bassist from Interpol. Clearly, that was the problem.

This April, Interpol bassist Carlos Dengler (aka Carlos D) will attempt to excel where Woody Allen failed. My Friends Told Me About You, Dengler's filmmaking debut, will premiere at New York's Anonymous Gallery on April 17, and it'll run until May 5. This is the movie we were talking about here, but it turns out it's not a horror movie at all. According to a press release, the 26-minute short film "targets the idea of celebrity as affliction." Trenchant! The trailer, featured on this website, does not feature Melanie Griffith talking about her boobs, so that's something.

Two years ago, we reported that Dengler had launched a website in an attempt to find film-scoring work. But his involvement in My Friends Told Me About You goes way beyond scoring. (You can hear excerpts from his My Friends score on his website.) Dengler co-wrote the film alongside its director, Chicago-based filmmaker Daniel Ryan. Dengler also serves as star and co-producer. And he wrote the score along with clarinetist Ian Mitchell. The other producer is Todd Eckert, who also co-produced Anton Corbijn's Ian Curtis biopic Control. Yes, seven years after Turn on the Bright Lights, it's still impossible to write anything about Interpol without mentioning Joy Division.

My Friends Told Me About You will also be included the Spring 2009 issue of Wholpin, the DVD magazine from the McSweeney's people.

The press release includes this gigantic pretentious thing that Dengler wrote about the nature of celebrity, and we've included the whole thing after the jump, just in case you really do not value your time.

Mastodon drummer Brann Dailor has already gone on record calling Crack the Skye, the band's forthcoming album, "my favorite thing that we've ever done." And in this Billboard story, Dailor goes on to flesh out the album's completely nutso concept a little further: "It's about a crippled young man who experiments with astral travel." Also somehow involved: Wormholes, Rasputin, a "golden umbilical cord." "It's all metaphors for personal shit," Dailor helpfully points out.

Unifying album concepts, of course, are nothing new to the Atlanta metal overlords. Their 2004 classic Leviathan, for instance, was somehow based on Herman Melville's Moby Dick. Fortunately, though, every past Mastodon album works as pure intuitive thundering brutality, and you don't have to be into the concept to get it.

The band sure is proud of their latest long-player, though. On their upcoming North American club tour, they'll play the album in its entirety. But they'll also play older songs, so you don't have to worry about leaving a Mastodon show without hearing "Blood and Thunder".

Talking to Billboard, guitarist Bill Kelliher explains: "There's something about [the album] where it would be weird to leave a song out. We'll incorporate a whole stage show, which will hopefully make it even more exciting for kids to come see and more visually stimulating." And Brooklyn Vegan reports that the band might have enlisted Josh Graham, the guy who does the brain-searingly great rear-projection films at Neurosis shows, to do their visuals. Sick. Like-minded and similarly great underground bashers Kylesa and Intronaut will open all the American shows, and then the band will head to Europe to play stadiums with Metallica.

And in other Mastodon news, mall-goers can get psyched to pick up a limited edition picture disc for first single "Divinations", backed by the instrumental version of the track, only at Hot Topic, starting March 10. iTunes is currently offering a pre-order of Crack the Skye that includes a version of album track "Oblivion" recorded on XFM radio in the UK as well as the instrumental version of the entire album. Yes, the entire album, with no words.

Billboard reports that the band might make a short film of all the songs from Crack the Skye, which Kelliher says will be their version of The Wall. It's to Mastodon's credit that I am unspeakably amped about this even though The Wall is basically the worst movie ever made.

Remember when we told you how the Chinese government canned a couple April Oasis gigs in Shanghai and Beijing because of the band's past political support of Tibet? Well, the gigs are still canceled. Sorry. But, according to evil-named promoter Beijing All Culture Communication Co Ltd, the move was based on economic-- and not political-- reasons, Reuters reports.

"I have no money. It's normal in an environment of economic crisis...It has nothing to do at all with the Tibet problem," a man who goes only by his last name, Luo, told the news organization, sounding a little like a broke car salesman. Unsurprisingly, Reuters reports that China's Foreign Ministry is backing the mysterious Luo...who probably wasn't forced by the government to give an ulterior motive for the quashed gigs or anything. That would never happen.

Meanwhile, Oasis are sticking to their original statement: show promoters Emma Entertainment and Ticketmaster China cited Noel Gallagher's appearance at a 1997 Free Tibet benefit as the main reason why the shows were nixed. So who do you trust-- a bunch of burnt-out Britpop stars or a Chinese dude who won't give up his first name?

The band's Hong Kong date-- as well as the rest of their globetrotting 2009 tour-- is still happening. Click for dates and places:

After the success of her meticulous (and ever-so-slightly deranged) solo debut, Marry Me, one-time Sufjan Stevens and Polyphonic Spree collaborator Annie Clark (aka St. Vincent) came a lot closer to never having to see the names Sufjan Stevens or the Polyphonic Spree in her press clippings ever again. Her stellar live show-- which bounces from Clark's wickedly outre distorted guitar solos to flourishing chamber pop mini-suites-- further cemented her rep as a disturbingly gifted new talent.

Based on an advanced listen, new album Actor (out May 5 on 4AD) keeps the Kate Bush-meets-Bowie dreams alive. Co-produced by Clark and John Congleton (Modest Mouse, Polyphonic Spree), the record is even more embellished than her debut, with Scary Monsters-style freak out bits mixed in with plenty of flute-laden filigree. We called her up last week to chat about the role classic Disney cartoons played on Actor, as well as the frightening ubiquity of Aerosmith...

Photo by Autumn de Wilde

It's been four years since symphonic L.A. alt-pop vets Eels dropped their ridiculously opulent double-disc opus Blinking Lights and Other Revelations, and now they're finally ready to come back.

On June 2, Vagrant will release the new Eels album Hombre Lobo. The band recorded the 12-song collection in frontman Mark Oliver Everett's studio. By the looks of things, Everett hasn't trimmed that beard since the last album came out.

You should give money to Jersey City, New Jersey radio station WFMU during this year's pledge drive, which runs through March 15. Why? Because it's a bastion of independence in an increasingly corporate world. Not convinced? Well, maybe a track-by-track covers album devoted to Paul and Linda McCartney's 1971 LP Ram featuring a bunch of indie rock heavies will sway you. 

If you pledge $75 or more during the station's music'n'comedy extravaganza "The Best Show" on March 3 or 10 from 8-11 p.m. ET, you'll get the Ram disc, named Tom, after "Best Show" host Tom Scharpling. Tom features Death Cab for Cutie, Ted Leo, Portastatic, Danielson, Aimee Mann, Dump (aka James McNew of Yo La Tengo), Spider Bags, James Pants, Black Hollies, and more. Sure beats a coffee mug. Thanks to Grant Bessel for the tip!

In a coincidental twist, there's another indie rock Ram covers project out, and while it doesn't feature many big names, it is free. (Is this album due for another deluxe reissue or what?) Ram on L.A. is currently downloadable from music blog Aquarium Drunkard. The record features Angelenos like Earlimart and the Broken West doing their best Paul, and though it's available on the internet free of charge, its makers urge listeners to contribute to McCartney-friendly charity No More Landmines.

Click on to see who's covering what:

If you come face-to-face with a life-size cutout of a silk-scarved funkateer of indeterminate age (and, sometimes, gender) the next time you go shopping for discount housewares, don't be alarmed. It's just the forces of commerce at work.

Billboard reports that Prince will release a new triple-CD set on March 29, and the only place you'll be able to get it will be Target. The set will include two difficult-to-capitalize albums from Prince himself, LOtUSFLOW3R and MPLSoUND, as well as another from Bria Valente, Prince's newest protégé. Target will sell the whole package for the absurdly low price of $11.98, which means that they just want to get people into their store so they can sell them Merona button-ups and gigantic things of dog food.

Obviously, this isn't the first time a big-name artist has partnered with a big-box store to sell an album. Guns N' Roses made a similar deal with Best Buy to sell Chinese Democracy, and Wal-Mart made a whole pile of money over the past few years selling Eagles and AC/DC albums.

Here's the cover of LOtUSFLOW3R:

There's also a LOtUSFLOW3R website, where you can stream three songs, one of which ("Colonized Mind") actually sounds really good. The site does not, however, offer very much in the way of actual information.

But according to Spinner, Prince plans to turn the website into a subscription service, which he hopes to launch this month. Site developer Scott Addison Clay tells Spinner that a year's subscription to the site would probably cost about $77, and subscribers would get a constant stream of live video clips and unreleased music. Clay also claims that Prince has filmed virtually all his concerts since the mid-80s, so that $77 could get you access to an absolutely ridiculous treasure-trove. (Via Idolator)

Denizens of Oklahoma, time to break out the fake blood and hand puppets: After a rigorous nomination process, the Flaming Lips' "Do You Realize??" is now the state's Official Rock Song by the order of Oklahoma's state legislature, Tulsa World reports.

More than 21,000 people voted in the contest, which pitted the triumphant Lips track against others written or performed by Sooners, including Elvis Presley's "Heartbreak Hotel" (co-written by Oklahoma's Mae Boren Axton), the All-American Rejects' "Move Along", and Wanda Jackson's "Let's Have a Party". Now if we could only get Congress to approve Radiohead's "The National Anthem" as our, er, national anthem...

The honor is in association with the Oklahoma History Center's Another Hot Oklahoma Night exhibit, which will debut later this year.

Congrats, guys.

The Lips have a couple festival appearances scheduled for the spring: On April 17-18, they'll play Vanderbilt University's Rites of Spring Festival, taking place in Nashville Tennessee, the Tennessean reports. And June 12, they'll hit the Rock Ness fest in Inverness, Scotland. And then, of course, they both play and curate ATP New York in the Catskills this fall.

Live music on T.V. this week:

Monday, March 2:

Comedy Central: The Colbert Report: David Byrne
CBS: Late Show With David Letterman: U2
NBC: Late Night With Jimmy Fallon: Justin Timberlake, Van Morrison, the Roots (house band)

Tuesday, March 3:

CBS: Late Show With David Letterman: U2
NBC: Late Night With Jimmy Fallon: Santigold, the Roots (house band)
ABC: Jimmy Kimmel Live: Lil Wayne, Robyn
NBC: The Tonight Show With Jay Leno: Bettye Lavette
NBC: Last Call With Carson Daly: Charles Hamilton
Syndicated: Live With Regis and Kelly: Van Morrison

Wednesday, March 4:

Comedy Central: The Colbert Report: Pitchfork contributor Carl Wilson
CBS: Late Show With David Letterman: U2
NBC: The Tonight Show With Jay Leno: Neko Case
NBC: Late Night With Jimmy Fallon: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, the Roots (house band)
NBC: Last Call With Carson Daly: Little Boots
SUNDANCE: Spectacle: Elvis Costello With...: Elton John (rerun)

Thursday, March 5:

CBS: Late Show With David Letterman: U2
CBS: Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson: Andrew Bird
NBC: Late Night With Jimmy Fallon: Ludacris, the Roots (house band)
ABC: Jimmy Kimmel Live: Raphael Saadiq

Friday, March 6:

CBS: Late Show With David Letterman: U2
CBS: Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson: M. Ward
NBC: Late Night With Jimmy Fallon: the Roots (house band)
NBC: Last Call With Carson Daly: N.A.S.A.

Virgil Griffith is a 25-year-old grad student at Caltech, and in his spare time he makes elaborate charts comparing people's SAT scores to their tastes in music and books. And you know what that means: Caltech grad students have way too much spare time.

That's the main thing I've learned from Music That Makes You Dumb, Griffith's latest viral info-bomb. According to this Wall Street Journal blog post, Griffith "used aggregated Facebook data about the favorite bands and books among students of various colleges and plotted them against the average SAT scores at those schools, creating a tongue-in-cheek statistical look at taste and intelligence." (He's also done the same for books.)

Griffiths' site is currently totally overloaded, but you can view the whole chart here.

For example, the school with the highest average SAT score happened to be Caltech, shockingly enough. And Caltech students' favorite band, as indicated by their Facebook pages, is Radiohead. But since Caltech has fewer students than plenty of larger schools, Radiohead doesn't get too huge of a bump on the big chart.

According to Griffith's chart, the smartest kids' favorite musician, by a ridiculously huge margin, is Beethoven (average SAT score: 1371). Other smart kid favorites: Sufjan Stevens, U2, Radiohead. The dumbest kids' favorite, meanwhile, is Lil Wayne (average score: 889). Other dumb kid favorites: Beyonce, T.I., Ludacris.

So: Judging by this chart, I am basically the dumbest person in the world. Hi.

Look. It's science. You can't argue with it. Or, OK: You could point out how these results indicate how hopelessly Eurocentric the SATs actually are, with the whole chart practically cleaved in half between black and white artists. Or you could argue that really smart people don't necessarily brag about their musical tastes on Facebook, or that when they do list musical tastes they usually just try to out-obscure each other by naming individual guitar solos or whatever. But no. Science.

For his part, Griffith doesn't claim that the chart is any sort of definitive IQ-map: As he told The Wall Street Journal, "Their unity is hilarity incarnate. This is to inspire people to think creatively about the data sets that are on the Internet ... Of course there is the whole correlation is not causation thing, but, I mean, duh." Spoken like a true Sufjan fan.

Griffith's research has turned up some truly puzzling results. For one thing, kids with high SAT scores tend to listen to some truly godawful whitebread bullshit: Counting Crows, Guster, Ben Folds, Norah Jones. For another, kids who list "rap" as their favorite music tend to score slightly higher than people who list "hip-hop." People who list genres instead of individual artists usually don't do too well. Zeppelin owns Queen and Bowie. John Legend effortlessly beasts Justin Timberlake. Nirvana beats Journey but not Pink Floyd. None of this makes any sense whatsoever.

Meanwhile, anyone who seriously thinks Yellowcard is better than Nas or Johnny Cash is invited to compare SAT scores with me.