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Yep, there's a beef about Blago book-title victory

John Kass

March 6, 2009

My great "Name That Blago Book" contest, to select a catchy title for former Gov. Rod "Dead Meat" Blagojevich's steamy, tell-all book about sleazy Illinois politics, is over.

Kevin Floyd, 30, a Notre Dame graduate, Lakeview resident and die-hard Cubs fan, is the victor in a contest among a top 10 culled from thousands of e-mailed suggestions.

Floyd's title entry, "Rod and the Giant Impeach," won after more than 10,000 online votes were cast in Tribune Web voting Thursday. Lagging behind all day, Floyd mysteriously surged ahead in the final minutes to win, the Chicago Way. Floyd, who works for an advertising agency, didn't readily admit to vote fraud.

But whether he cheated or not, does it really matter anymore? This is Illinois. We're used to it.

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"I'm honored," Floyd said. "What did I win, exactly?"

Well, Mr. Floyd, you win a fabulous and tasty 3-pound beef tongue (defrosted), awarded in symbolic anticipation that former Gov. Dead Meat will sing to the feds.

And, you win two tickets to "Hizzoner," the smash hit play about the most legendary politician in Chicago's history, the late Mayor Richard J. Daley, as portrayed by my friend, actor Neil Giuntoli.

As an extra attraction, Floyd will receive these glories directly from the hands of Hizzoner himself at a special ceremony at 3 p.m. Friday outside the Tribune Tower. The public is invited to attend and witness this historic event and official city proclamation.

The all-powerful, albeit deceased, Mare told me he is eager to honor Floyd at Friday's Presentation of the Meat.

"I can't wait to give him this here beef tongue," Hizzoner told me. "Beef tongue is a fine Chicago meat. A noble meat, a humble meat that doesn't put on airs. It's the meat of the hard-working people of this great city."

Floyd was so moved by Da Mare returning from the afterlife just to give him a beef tongue that he was struck speechless. But Floyd regained his composure, saying he would be honored to receive wondrous gifts of meat and theater from Chicago's renowned kingmaker.

"That sounds great. I'm a big fan of meat. And like [Da Mare] used to say, I won because I got the most votes," said Floyd.

It didn't take long for allegations of vote fraud to surface. Floyd's entry narrowly eclipsed two others that had been ahead all day, "From Hair to Profanity" by Walter Reed of Wilmette; and "They Paid Me a [Bleeping] Bucket of Cash to Write This [Bleeping] Book," by Ron Rieger of Lake Zurich.

"That 'Impeach' guy had a whole boatload of people there for him at the end," Rieger said. "He figured out a way at the end. He got me."

Are you alleging vote fraud the Chicago Way?

"Of course, there just had to be," said Rieger, who was not upset. "It's fitting, don't you think, of all the places it should happen, it should happen on a vote for Blago's book."

Floyd reminded me that in a column announcing the contest in Tuesday's editions, I exhorted readers to vote early and often.

"Let's just say I had a lot of friends," Floyd said. He mentioned that his dad, Tom Floyd, also a Notre Dame grad, helped him get out the vote.

"I have to give a lot of credit to my father," said Floyd, who then quoted Mayor Richard J. Daley. "The mayor said, 'If a father can't help his son, what kind of father would he be?' "

And what did the late mayor say about why a candidate lost an election?