Medical diagnosis can ease stress for both mom and son

March 17, 2009

DEAR ABBY: Your answer to "Frustrated Mom in Virginia" (Jan. 5) was on the money. There could be a wide range of reasons for her son's "shortcomings."

Recent columns

• New mom reluctantly uses bathroom as pumping station

  March 16, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I am a new mom who works in a high-tech start-up company that does not provide a mother's room. I'm the first employee here to have a baby. The corporate plaza in which my office is located also doesn't provide one. Therefore, I must resort to using the restroom to pump my breast milk, which must be done every few hours.

• Woman starts to question boyfriend's protectiveness

  March 15, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Josh," won't leave me alone. We have been living together for almost a year, and he is the ultimate overprotector. When I start to leave the house to run errands or anything, he stops me and asks, "Where do you think you're going?" When I tell him, he will then follow me to the location.

• Despondent wife is all alone in marriage to silent husband

  March 14, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I am so lonely. My husband refuses to communicate with me or do anything with me. The only outlet I have is work and school. I would like to end this misery, but I don't know where to begin. We have been married for 17 years. I have never been unfaithful to him, although I have thought about it -- not for the physical aspect, but for the communication. -- DESPERATE FOR SOMEONE TO TALK TO

• Pregnant girl fears family consequence of telling truth

  March 13, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I was sexually abused by my sister's boyfriend, "Teddy," three months ago. He is five years older than I am, and now I am pregnant.

• Old-fashioned fashion enjoys a comeback: skirts for men

  March 12, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: Allow me to offer kudos to "Joe in Pennsylvania" (Dec. 31), who wrote that he prefers wearing skirts at home, on errands and at church. I grew up in southwestern Asia where skirts, sarongs and robes are common daily apparel for men. I have been somewhat surprised by the disapproving looks and downright hostility I have encountered in this country any time I have chosen to leave my home wearing anything other than pants.

• 'Other woman' advises wives on how to care for marriage

  March 11, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I am the "other woman." I never in a million years thought I'd be in this position. I had been divorced for several years. I should have run the other way once I learned that my lover was married, but I was lonely. I wanted to feel like a woman again -- someone a man found attractive and would like to spend time with.

• Boss allows business meeting to become personal chat fest

  March 10, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: How do you convince co-workers to stay on topic and on track in business meetings? Each week I am required to attend a mandatory meeting, and each week the people in that meeting drag in personal issues or start talking about the news.

• Daughter says new girlfriend is nothing but trouble for dad

  March 9, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I am 20. My father, who recently turned 50, is dating a girl, "Amber," who is only 19. I went to high school with Amber, and I know for a fact there isn't a lot she has to offer him unless it's trouble.

• Romance that began online is no cause for embarrassment

  March 8, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Sean," and I met online six months ago. We are now at the stage where we are meeting and going out with each other's friends and co-workers, and the question, "How did you meet?" is coming up.

• Jokes about psychiatrist's couch aren't amusing to wife

  March 7, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: Will you please explain to your readers that doctors do not practice medicine 24 hours a day? Each time we reveal to people that my husband is a psychiatrist, we have to put up with unfunny jokes about how he's going to analyze them, or insinuations that all he does is sit on a couch and ask, "And how do you feel about that?" How should we respond to these misconceptions? -- NOT LAUGHING IN IOWA

• Man's false online profile is about to rear its ugly head

  March 6, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I am part of a group of people who read our local newspaper online and comment on the news of the day in the public forums provided. It's great fun and offers an excellent place to interact with others.

• Early screening for disease can prevent kidney failure

  March 5, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I was a healthy 12-year-old girl in junior high, sociable and energetic with no cares in the world, until one day my mother noticed I wasn't my usual self. I was tired and had no interest in any activities. Frustrated, she encouraged me to try out for my school's volleyball team.

• Girl caught having sex is blackmailed by her sister

  March 4, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Joni," caught me having sex with my boyfriend. (We used protection, so it's not like I'm going to get pregnant.)

• Readers' ideas turn restless dreams into restful slumber

  March 3, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I would like to comment on the letter from "Once a Mechanic ... in Arizona" (Dec. 24), who still dreams about his job even though he is now retired. I once worked in the customer service department of a major retailer. During one Christmas season, a recurring dream would interrupt my sleep each night. In my dream, my bedroom door would open and a stream of customers would file in and line up next to my bed, their arms loaded down with purchases or returns.

• Compatible relationships are built on respect, not argument

  March 2, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a wonderful man I'll call "George" for the past 14 months. We have never had an argument or even a disagreement. We both have good jobs, like doing the same things, and we see each other every weekend. Our co-workers and family members have commented that we seem remarkably happy as a couple.

• Donations from friends put couple under a microscope

  February 27, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Dwight," was very ill a few years ago. Some wonderful folks held a fundraiser to help us with bills and unpaid leave. We paid all of the outstanding medical bills and living expenses with a large portion of the money; the remainder has been set aside for an organ transplant Dwight will need a few years down the road.

• Wife's inability to reciprocate affection frustrates husband

  February 25, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Warren," and I are happily married. We love each other. We are both hardworking career professionals and have raised our family. We have always been faithful to each other.

• Marriages blessed in church not licensed at courthouse

  February 20, 2009

  DEAR READERS: Since I printed the letter from "Deceived in Arizona" (Nov. 30), I have learned that not only individuals, but also some churches feel so strongly about separating the legal aspect of marriage from the religious that they have voted to only "bless unions," and their clergy no longer sign marriage licenses. Among them are member churches of the United Church of Christ, the Unitarian-Universalists and the Quakers. Instead, the model they follow is the one used in Europe, in which couples go to a courthouse to register their marriage, and then to a church or synagogue for a religious ceremony. Read on:

• Neighbor takes advantage of trusting elderly woman

  February 18, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: My elderly mother lives in a rural area. Luckily, she is surrounded by wonderful neighbors who enable her to continue living in her home without assistance. They shop for her, maintain her lawn, do handyman repairs, cook for her and regularly check on her well-being.

• Woman questions belief that there's no place like home

  February 17, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: Is it possible -- or normal -- for someone to lack the desire to travel? I am a 23-year-old female college graduate with a good job. I am involved in a serious relationship and still live with my parents because of financial constraints. I like to think my life is pretty normal.

• Valentine wishes are meant to be shared far and wide

  February 14, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I clearly remember my first Valentine's Day. I was in first grade. A few days before, my mom asked how many kids were in my class, and we went to a store and bought large packages of valentines -- one for every child in the class. The cards were all the same size and said, basically, the same thing.

• Teenage girl second-guesses engagement to impatient beau

  February 13, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I am 16 but will be 17 in a few months. I have known my boyfriend, "Gabriel," for two years. He is my first boyfriend.

• Man hesitates to combat rumor mill with the truth

  February 11, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I have tried to have cordial relations with my neighbors, but do not have particularly close friendships with any of them.

• Photos posted online irk woman preferring privacy

  February 10, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I am a private person by nature and avoid doing a lot of posting on the Internet because of it. My problem is a friend I'll call "Maria," who constantly posts pictures of our outings with friends on her Web site for everyone to see.

• Father's authority wanes as son's popularity grows

  February 9, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: My youngest son, "Trent," is 17. At a very early age it became apparent that he was a gifted athlete. Years of stellar performance in baseball and other sports have elevated him to a high social status -- and it has created a rift between us.

• Mom maintains friendships with daughter's old beaus

  February 5, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: From the time when I was a teen, whenever a romance of mine ended, my mother would continue having her own relationship with the ex, regardless of how I felt about it.

• Grandmother sees too much of bodybuilding teen's work

  February 4, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: My 19-year-old grandson, "Fletcher," an average boy with good looks, is becoming as exhibitionist. He flaunts his body on almost every occasion. When people are around, he goes into his room and emerges minutes later without his shirt, naked to the waist, with his pants dropping down almost showing places we do not wish to see. He struts around, going from room to room, all the while his pants slipping even lower. Fletcher then usually changes into shorts, which also slide down and reveal more than the public should be viewing.

• Long hair is a burden both husband, wife should bare

  February 3, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I disagree with your advice to "Short and Trendy in West Texas" (Nov. 17), whose husband thinks she went against him by cutting her long hair short. I, too, like my wife's hair long, and I see nothing wrong with urging her to keep it that way. Personally, I hate shaving and have suggested to my wife that I might like to grow a beard. She said, "No way," so I keep shaving.

• Siblings feel abandoned by their widowed mother

  February 1, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: Last year, my elderly father fell, suffering a head injury that caused his death. Dad had a chronic illness that kept him housebound during the last year of his life.

• Mothers of young children need 'time out' to recharge

  January 15, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: I am a physician and mother of a toddler who understands "New Mom in Las Vegas" (Nov. 4), the woman who is concerned because she finds playing with her 8-month-old tedious. While postpartum depression should be ruled out, it is not uncommon for an adult woman to be bored by endless hours of playing with blocks and rattles.

• Young workers must learn how to 'dress for success'

  January 13, 2009

  DEAR ABBY: You're in a position to do young people a great service by educating a generation that has grown up in a casual-dress world that there's a line between how one dresses in one's personal life and how one dresses for work. Cross it, and it could negatively affect your career.

• Mother is wary of neighbor boy with loud potty mouth

  December 29, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, a couple built a home on the lot next to ours. From the time they moved in, we have been concerned about their 11-year-old son's anti-social behavior.

• Promising conversations turn to empty words in dating game

  November 27, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: I consider myself to be a nice, normal person. I know how to make interesting, intelligent conversation that can engage just about anyone. When I go out socially, I often meet people and we hit it off.

• Husband plans infidelity if wife is incapacitated

  November 26, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: I need some serious advice. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a year ago. My condition is stable. I have taken the necessary precautions such as dietary changes, exercise and prescription medications.

• Learning to turn down dates is a critical lesson for girls

  November 23, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: I would like to encourage all parents of daughters to teach their girls how to say "no" clearly and with grace.

• Wife reluctant to let go of dead husband's family

  November 22, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: When my wife, "Kiki," and I married three years ago, I had been divorced for 11 years, and she had been widowed for eight.

• Boy acting like a 'dummy' embarrasses his friend

  November 21, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: I don't want to make my friend "Ryan" mad, but he does something that makes me feel weird. When we go to the mall to hang out, he always wants to go to the big stores. You know those dummies on display wearing clothes? Well, Ryan likes to feel them up! He thinks it's cool to go up to a female dummy and feel her breasts.

• Standing during pledge is simply a sign of respect

  November 20, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: "Silent Supporter, Benson, N.C." (Aug. 26) cannot say the Pledge of Allegiance because of religious reasons. I support his or her right not to participate. However, I disagree with "Silent's" interpretation that standing is participating.

• Childhood friend has grown too adult for her roommate

  November 19, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: I moved to a small town a few years ago to take a job in a very public position. This is a place where everyone knows everyone else's business, so I try hard to maintain a good reputation.

• Bride angles for presents even after groom bails out

  November 18, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: My wife and I received an invitation from a family member to attend their daughter "Heidi's" wedding on Father's Day weekend. We canceled our existing plans in order to attend, and gave "Heidi and Dave" an appropriate gift. As the ceremony progressed, the minister asked, "Do you, Steve, take Heidi" ... at which point the guests began whispering to themselves, "STEVE?"

• Couple argues the long and short of wife's hair

  November 17, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: How do I make my husband understand that how I cut my hair has nothing to do with him? I am 30 years old, and I have a full-time job and three kids who are involved in everything. Because I am always on the go, I need a hairdo that is easy to manage and cute, so I ended up getting my hair cut short. I love it. It makes me feel younger, cuter and trendy.

• Teen caught in a lie feels trapped by parents' distrust

  November 16, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: I have a huge problem. I am a 16-year-old girl, and last week I lied to my best friend's parents so we could go to a movie. Her parents found out and told my parents, who got very angry and have me grounded for a minimum of a month -- depending on my "attitude."

• Bride-to-be second-guesses couple's 30-year age gap

  November 15, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: I am 24 years old and engaged to a man who is 54. I love him with all my heart, but I haven't told my father yet.

• Shameless 'friend' lobbies for loan that wasn't offered

  November 14, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: My friend "Tracy" has been hinting that she needs to borrow money. I don't loan money to people unless it's an emergency, and frankly, I know if I lend her any, she won't pay me back.

• Woman giving men fake phone number is no lady

  November 13, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: I am a licensed psychologist and the director of a small counseling center at a liberal arts college. Part of my duties include answering emergency calls from students who are in crisis.

• Knowing a few simple tricks eases a letter-writer's chore

  November 12, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: I read about your booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions" a few years ago, and I want to let you know how much it helped me recently in writing to my aunt.

• Sisters grow from bitter rivals into best friends

  November 11, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: "Hurt in Sacramento" (Aug. 27) wrote that her sister told her that the only reason she existed was because her dad had been trying for a boy after having three girls. Tell her to trust me -- this is a rite of passage.

• Mom's descent into alzheimer's consumes her daughter's life

  November 10, 2008

  DEAR ABBY: My beautiful, loving mother is now in the middle stages of Alzheimer's disease. This cruel disease has robbed her of her memories as well as the ability to reason and function.