John P Barker's Blog

by John P. Barker

Welcome to John P. Barker's Blog!

Semen Spy: Need I Say More?

by John P. Barker

Ever get a hankerin' to detect for semen? No? Me neither. I don't think James Bond carried this little spy gadget around. But as a kit to make sure your kids aren't doing something naughty, the KJB Semen Detection Spy Kit is probably a good idea.

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Necktie Camera Insures That Board Meetings Will Never Be The Same

by John P. Barker

Even James Bond would look stylish wearing this suave tie. But he wouldn't say, "Smile! You're on camera!" the way that I would. I'd make a horrible spy...

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Girlfriends Across the Nation Grab Fly Swatters To Fight Off RC Dragonfly

by John P. Barker

Giant bugs are an everyday occurrence where I live in good ol' Florida. And while I can't say that we have bugs as big as this remote controlled dragonfly, I can say they get pretty close. So be careful if you fly this around your girlfriend if you live in The Sunshine State. She'll flatten this little whopper out with one swing of a fly swatter. But you can be sure that it looks really cool flying around before it gets crushed...

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New G.I. Joe Verses Old G.I. Joe... Which Is More Cool?

by John P. Barker

GI Joe. Just those two words conjure a multitude of childhood memories for me. Action? Adventure? GI Joe knew the way. Then he got really tiny--roughly 9 inches smaller. And his mission changed. And now there is a movie coming out based on the little tiny GI Joe figures. But my heart still rests with the 12 inch figures from my youth... Which is more cool?

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Want Your Kid To Bathe In Goo? If So, Gelli Baff Is For You

by John P. Barker

Are your kids just plain bored with taking a bath? If so, why not throw them into a tub full of multi-colored sludge? It's all the rage! All the cool kids are doin' it! Gelli Baff is the answer to all of those non-glob baths that have plagued kids for centuries.

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GameRider: The Virtual Spinning Bike

by John P. Barker

Do you have a kid that is turning into a blob because he is addicted to video games and simply won't move from the couch? GymKids has a solution that combines activity with gaming... and lots of pedaling.

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Micronauts - A Retrospective of the Coolest Toy Ever

by John P. Barker

We all have that one toy that sticks with us as we get older. Some (far more athletic than I) fondly remember the skateboard. Others (far more feminine than I) hold a torch for that one special Barbie. My favorite toys were The Micronauts. And yes; I'd still play with them now if I could get to them--they're buried in the back of my storage unit at the moment...

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I Can See Your Boobs; X-Ray Glasses Become a Reality

by John P. Barker

There they are, positioned in a little square right next to the Charles Atlas ad with the kid getting sand kicked in his face: X-ray glasses. What kid didn't want to see though walls, clothes, and... I dunno, whatever else? Well, at considerable expense, you can now do this--sort'a.

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Star Trek: These Are the Voyages of Kirk's Chair In Your Media Room

by John P. Barker

I have this friend who always wanted to make his living room into the bridge of the Enterprise from Star Trek. And though this is not the chair he's looking for (he's a Next Generation fan), you gotta admit--this thing looks cool. But is it comfortable?

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Can a Remote Controlled Zombie Eat Your Brain?

by John P. Barker

Want to control a shuffling mass of undead flesh? If so... look elsewhere. But if you want to control a simulation of undead flesh in the form of a tiny little zombie... read on!