Kinky Friedman
By Daniel Robert Epstein
Dec 14, 2006
Though Kinky Friedman was born in Chicago everyone knows he has the heart of a Texan. Friedman first came to notice as a musician with the Kinky Friedman and The Texas Jewboys which created satirical country music. Soon Friedman brought his satire up to a new level with his novels using a fictionalized version of himself as a private detective solving crimes in New York City. Friedman’s most recent bid came as he ran for governor of Texas this past midterm election which he lost to Rick Perry.
Right on the tail end of the campaign Friedman released the book, The Christmas Pig, which is about a fictionalized land where the king needs an artist to create a nativity scene. The king decides to hire an artistic but mute child prodigy. While the child is creating the scene, he becomes friends with a talking pig who helps him along the way.
Buy The Christmas Pig
Daniel Robert Epstein: What are you up to today?
Kinky Friedman: Well, I’m on a book signing tour for The Christmas Pig.
DRE:
I loved the book, by the way.
KF:
You’ve read it already, wow. You don’t waste much time Daniel. It’s a lovely little Christmas book that has turned out to be one of my best efforts.
DRE:
[laughs] We Jews are always inundated with Christmas and Christmas stories and a lot of them are done by Jews. What made you decide to write Christmas Pig?
KF:
Kind of like Dostoyevsky I took an assignment to write a celebrity Christmas book to earn gambling money for Vegas. It turned out to be a better book than I anticipated because sometimes when you set out to write the great American novel or paint your masterpiece, you never do. It’s always done accidentally. The great work is done obliquely by people who are trying to pay the rent or gambling debts, either one will work. Once you can get that mindset going you have a chance. But Christmas Pig goes beyond Christianity and Judaism. As Thomas Payne said on his deathbed, “The world is my country; to do good is my religion.”
DRE:
Have you ever known a kid like Benjamin?
KF:
Yeah, I have. In fact I know several but I know one very much like that and I suspect there are lots more. His autism is academic and a lot of autistic kids are brilliant artists. I also knew a pig once.
DRE:
It wasn’t a talking pig I assume.
KF:
No but close though. I’ve never really known a king though. Mark Twain only met one king. It was the king of Hawaii.
DRE:
Why did they offer you a Christmas book?
KF:
I don’t know. That was David Rosenthal’s idea at Simon & Schuster. It’s worked out well because the wonderful Germans have already translated it with illustrations for next Christmas. If the Germans like it, the rest of the world can’t be far behind.
DRE:
Was part of the fun you being a Jewish guy writing a Christmas story?
KF:
Well, I kind of am a Judeo-Christian. I contend that I have Jesus and Moses in my heart and they were both good Jewish boys that got in a little trouble with the government. I don’t think of myself as a Jewish guy. I’m pretty damn open about being Jewish, but none of it makes a lick of sense. Heroes of mine are Father Damien, a Catholic priest who died of leprosy over 100 years ago. Martin Luther King was one. Gandhi, Breaker Morant. A lot of people who weren’t Jewish are my heroes. Jesus was just one of a great line of misunderstood people that I admire.
DRE:
Do you celebrate Christmas?
KF:
I don’t celebrate anything but hunting accidents. I don’t celebrate holidays. I don’t like them.
DRE:
Why is that?
KF:
Because they’re stultifying dull. I think life is moments, that’s all. I don’t think you can contrive having a Jewish singles of Dallas Purim party and make it soulful.
DRE:
[laughs] Was that your pig on the cover of The Christmas Pig?
KF:
Might as well have been. No, my pig has already gone to Jesus.
DRE:
I read that you save many animals. Do you eat meat though?
KF:
Yes. I have been a vegetarian in the past although I still love a big, hairy steak. Do I eat pork? No. I don’t eat pork for spiritual reasons not for any narrow, stupid religious reasons. I like pigs, I think they’re really smart, good and I think we’re very deceitful toward them. Pigs are getting them a very bad deal. It’s like the horse sslaughter plants in Texas that I’m trying to close. They’re shipping meat to France for people to eat. After you get past closing the horse slaughter plants then you should close the cattle slaughter plants too.
DRE:
Are you still involved with the Max Soffar case?
KF:
Yeah, I don’t know where it’s going to go except that I’m now closer friends with the governor than I’ve ever been. That’s one that’s really an injustice in a lot of respects. I don’t think Max did this crime and I don’t think that there’s much evidence that he did either. Yet two juries have convicted him. Why did that happen? When was the last time we executed a rich man in Texas? The answer is never.
DRE:
That’s crazy.
KF:
Yeah so it’s probably true in New York. You wonderful, progressive motherfuckers. You are probably the most parochial, provincial group of people on the whole planet, people around New York. Particularly Manhattan because they look down on you as well, they don’t think Queens exists.
DRE:
Well, I just moved to Queens.
KF:
Then you just step up. It’s a real place in the world. The Christmas Pig was written for people. It wasn’t written for Jewish intellectuals. This is a book for people who can read between the lines. Really being Jewish or being Christian is pretty damn similar.
DRE:
If they follow the basic rules.
KF:
Yeah, which they never do. Those are the ones they totally ignore. That’s why Israel’s main support comes from the Christian right, not the Democratic left who ought to support Israel if they look at the Lord.
DRE:
Do you still create music?
KF:
As little as possible.
DRE:
Why is that?
KF:
Because I never have time. I hang around musicians a lot. A lot of them are good friends of mine. I like music but mostly I’m writing and campaigning even though that’s over with. But I may get back to music though I doubt it. I say musicians can run this country better than politicians although we won’t get a lot done in the mornings. We’ll work late and we’ll be honest.
DRE:
Obviously you didn’t win the bid for governor in Texas.
KF:
Well, the people have spoken the bastards, as Hunter Thompson said. The people have mumbled actually. There was a pretty apathetic turn out. I gave Texas my phone number and she never got back to me. But the whole point of the Alamo was not that they won or lost but the fact that they stood up against insurmountable odds and it led right to the battle of San Jacinto and the formation of Texas. The Alamo, while not being a technical victory, was what sparked and continues to spark the imagination of millions of people. It was like when Kissinger asked Chairman Mao if he thought the French Revolution made a difference or not and Chairman Mao said it was too soon to tell. That’s where we are at this point.
DRE:
What were your expectations?
KF:
I thought the people would turn out. Had they voted in big numbers, we would have won. They did not. As long as the turnout is low, the Crips and the Bloods are always going to control.
DRE:
I know they attacked you for a few things you said. Do you feel like you should have said those things?
KF:
No, not at all. Particularly the Democrats proved themselves to be vicious and the main victim was the truth. That was the casualty. I would have looked to the Democrats to stand up to the truth but they didn’t. They pretended that they didn’t understand what satire was. In other words, they pretended that they didn’t understand Mark Twain or Voltaire or Borat or Blazing Saddles. They pretended that I was a raging racist like the guy in To Kill a Mockingbird. To paraphrase Mark Twain, he said that the three most precious things in America are Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Conscience and the prudence never to use either one of them.
DRE:
What do you think of Governor Rick Perry?
KF:
Well, he called me yesterday. He’s been very gracious. He said that he could use a guy like me to reach the people he can’t reach, which are a lot of Texans. The vast majority of them are black. So who knows, there may be some bridge building here. We might both end up working for the people of Texas. I like him personally. I don’t think he’s been really been an activist type of governor in the past six years. There are a lot of areas that I don’t think are doing well such as education, immigration and environment. Those are big ones.
DRE:
How do you feel about the Democrats getting control of Congress?
KF:
Totally irrelevant. Just a different set of lobbyists moving to Washington.
DRE:
You don’t think there’ll be any change for the good?
KF:
Very unlikely. I think I’ve really had enough of the Republicans and the Democrats. The two party system is offering us some of the worst candidates that you’ve ever seen. If the best we can do is George Bush and John Kerry we’ve got a serious problem. We can’t even nominate guys like McCain and Rudy [Giuliani] for starters because of the system. George Washington was right, we don’t need two political parties. All government needs is common sense and common honesty.
DRE:
When will that happen? Never?
KF:
Never. Well, Texas had an opportunity.
DRE:
You think you’ll run again?
KF:
Pretty doubtful, I’m getting pretty old. I’m 62 years old which is too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.
DRE:
When did you start doing the animal rescue?
KF:
We opened Utopia Rescue Ranch eight years ago and it’s a real eye opener to deal with abused and stray animals and to see what people have done. We’ve adopted over 1500 animals in the past eight years; it’s a really great thing.
DRE:
Was there something specific that led you to doing that or was it a decision?
KF:
It was a dream. Cousin Nancy runs the ranch. She wrote a book called The Road to Utopia: How Kinky, Tony, and I Saved More Animals than Noah. That’s the whole story of the rescue ranch.
DRE:
What’s the next project you’re working on?
KF:
Maybe I’ll do a book on the campaign. We’ll see. I don’t think I’ll do another mystery book until I hear the literary world clamoring for it’s return.
DRE:
We’d love to get you a membership to SuicideGirls.
KF:
Well the problem I have is that I don’t use the internet at all. I think it’s the work of Satan. I don’t have email or any of that shit. Even Willie Nelson doesn’t approve of that. Willie was a little bit irritated when I told him I don’t use email.
by Daniel Robert Epstein
SG Username: AndersWolleck
by Daniel Robert Epstein
SG Username: AndersWolleck
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