To Die By Your Side: Top 10 Songs of The Smiths For Your Lyrical and Pleasurable Analysis



Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before: Listen along with the full playlist HERE. Thank you for that, LewMorgan.

Dedicated to fridaymourning, everthere and the rest of us sweet and tender hooligans.

1. "The Headmaster Ritual" While a lyrical departure from his usual romantic torment, Moz speaks of those wretched institutions of school like a death sentence and is dramatic as ever. "I wanna go home...don't want to stay...give up life as a bad mistake!" Yeah, ok Moz. However for those of us who really did feel this alone in school, we appreciate this song, however fictionalized.



2. "This Charming Man" With its most iconic of fuck-off lyrical drippings in "I would go out tonight but I haven't got a stitch to wear", this is one that confused me what with the debasing sentiment of "Why pamper life's complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?" He must be joking. Who is this charming man? Is it Morrissey? We know damn well he sings many of these songs about his lonesome (and luscious) self. However I am always inspired by "It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care"...you know like, darling, don't worry your pretty head of it all.



3. "These Things Take Time" Oh but these things take time... "and I know that I am the most inept that ever stepped." YES! Are you kidding me? Self loathing doesn't get any finer than this here track where Moz gives up on all loves and lust, elegantly proclaiming that "The hills are alive with celibate cries!" I forever swoon for the shy romance of being taken behind a disused railway line because "I know a place where we can go where we are not known." Ever wanted to be with someone and disappear into them like that? Yes you do.



4. "There Is a Light That Never Goes Out" In my experience of Moz lovers, this seems to be the universal favorite of The Smiths' collection. You morbid, morbid, unloveable freaks. Ahhh but here lies the age old fantasy of being so taken by a would be love that "If a double decker bus kills the both of us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die; the pleasure, the privilage is mine." Have you ever imagined this song while driving in a car with someone who doesn't know you exist? Take me anywhere, I don't care, I don't care "but please don't drop me home because I haven't got one anymore." Have you ever?



5. "Panic" Possibly (I haven't done my math) the shortest song but damn, is it power-packed with casual hatred. "Burn down the disco! Hang the blessed DJ because the music that he constantly plays says nothing to me about my life." Don't hold back, mister, tell us how you really feel. I love the sentiment of "Could life ever be sane again?" in relation to finding a soundtrack that sings your life. This is actually a tender anthem.



6. "Paint a Vulgar Picture" My most favorite of The Smiths' entire collection. I've reviewed this one before, but anyhow this is the song that pays tribute to a dead and beloved rock star with its fantasy sentiments that kill me every time with "I touched you at the soundcheck. You had no real way of knowing in my heart, I begged TAKE ME WITH YOU!" but... "But to you I was faceless, I was fawning...just a child." The climax of the longing finds the dear fan in bliss with new records at home: "So in my bedroom in those ugly new houses, I danced my legs down to the knees!" I can't tell you why this makes me sigh every time. Is it Morrissey's wish for how he'll be remembered? I had the privilage of hearing him do it live once and he killed it. Heavenly.



7. "Handsome Devil" It's a lusty and near menacing number that makes me dream of all the men that got away. This is also a semi-depature because it's down right sexual with "I know what hands are for and I'd like to help myself." It seems our subject is a distracted school boy whom Moz wants to help through exams (and get his hands on some mammory glands, what the fuck?!) but in the end kisses off with "There's more to life than books, you know. But not much more." What a delicious piece.



8. "Shoplifters of the World Unite" Who are the shoplifters? And why is Elvis on its cover? He's been accused of musical thievery but Moz worships him. Anyhow, I have no idea what this iconic anthem is about, truthfully. It's very sexy with its taunts of "Learn to love me, assemble the ways" and "My only weakness is a list of crime." but I still don't place its gel. Forever love the sentiment of "Tried living in the real world instead of a shell...but was bored before I even began." Whatevs, real world. I'm a shoplifter.



9. "Half a Person" While this is my second favorite Smiths song of all time, it is my personal anthem of their work. Moz speaks my kept secret in the proud confessional of "16, clumsy and shy: That's the story of my life." Kill it, Moz, kill it. Is there anything more to say? No there isn't.



10. "Sheila Take a Bow" How incredibly ironic that this song begs of Sheila "How can someone so young sing words so sad?" Oh Morrissey! You're so hysterical. What happened to this girl? Her depression rivals even Moz and he reminds her to cleverly "boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear!" and ever dreamily more with "Don't go home tonight, come out and find the one that you love" Who said The Smiths were only depressing? Nonsense. This number is full of inspiration. The pleading comes to a climax with "Throw your homework onto the fire! Come out and find the one that you love!" Whatever your homework may be, who hasn't wanted to do that with it and come on down...



Thank you for reading. I request that all responses be made in the form of Smiths lyrics. If you can't, try your best.